osirianzen submitted this photo with the comment “Alt. models Osirian and Black Lily as Eric Draven and Harley Quinn. Photo by Barfridge LeStrange”
What the hell is Eric Draven doing fraternising with Harley Quinn during the day (or at any time for that matter)?   Eric’s brooding character suits some up-tree lamentation and I suppose Harley could have decided to tease him about his love of gaffer tape and the way he badly copies her make-up.
It looks like a sunny day, which is quite disappointing. Eric is a decent height up the tree but he’s not smiling. I like that he has gone to the trouble to bring along his guitar.  Harley Quinn appears to be a cyber-gothed up for the occasion. 
4.7 out of 5 - Perhaps Harley is attracted to men who are bad at applying make-up.  I know I am.

osirianzen submitted this photo with the comment “Alt. models Osirian and Black Lily as Eric Draven and Harley Quinn. Photo by Barfridge LeStrange”

What the hell is Eric Draven doing fraternising with Harley Quinn during the day (or at any time for that matter)?   Eric’s brooding character suits some up-tree lamentation and I suppose Harley could have decided to tease him about his love of gaffer tape and the way he badly copies her make-up.

It looks like a sunny day, which is quite disappointing. Eric is a decent height up the tree but he’s not smiling. I like that he has gone to the trouble to bring along his guitar.  Harley Quinn appears to be a cyber-gothed up for the occasion.

4.7 out of 5 - Perhaps Harley is attracted to men who are bad at applying make-up.  I know I am.

WOMBATINA submitted this photo with the comment “fairy goth”
I don’t care if you’re a fairy goth, there is no excuse for engaging in blatant smiling and shameless bathing in sunlight, even if you do look a little evil in the process. To make matters worse, it appears that this “fairy goth” is up a tree near a beach. 
She’s a decent height up the tree but she’s smiling, she’s out in the sun and she’s in an entirely un-goth location. Bonus point for the stripy socks though.
2 out of 5 - Christmas is getting to me.

WOMBATINA submitted this photo with the comment “fairy goth”

I don’t care if you’re a fairy goth, there is no excuse for engaging in blatant smiling and shameless bathing in sunlight, even if you do look a little evil in the process. To make matters worse, it appears that this “fairy goth” is up a tree near a beach. 

She’s a decent height up the tree but she’s smiling, she’s out in the sun and she’s in an entirely un-goth location. Bonus point for the stripy socks though.

2 out of 5 - Christmas is getting to me.

suilean-dubh submitted this photo with the comment “My bf-at-the-time-but-no-longer were taking a walk in a light drizzle early last spring and I wanted to climb a tree because hey it’s fun and he snapped this.”
Call me nosey, but I wish this goth had given us some details about why she’s no longer with her “bf-at-the-time-but-no-longer”.  If I had to guess, I’d say it was because the ex-bf experienced podophobia (fear of feet) and she was a shoe-less and fancy free goth who became tired of her beloved constantly trying to conceal her feet.  What started off as an endearing foible became a bloody nuisance and she broke it off in a fit of rage after a particularly irritating visit to the local mall.  
This photo was clearly taken in happier times hence the slight smile and the full display of feet. Our goth is appropriately pale and black-clad. She’s a decent height up the tree and it’s either overcast or taken at dusk. 
4.4 out of 5 - I have a phobia of becoming dendrophobic. 

suilean-dubh submitted this photo with the comment “My bf-at-the-time-but-no-longer were taking a walk in a light drizzle early last spring and I wanted to climb a tree because hey it’s fun and he snapped this.”

Call me nosey, but I wish this goth had given us some details about why she’s no longer with her “bf-at-the-time-but-no-longer”.  If I had to guess, I’d say it was because the ex-bf experienced podophobia (fear of feet) and she was a shoe-less and fancy free goth who became tired of her beloved constantly trying to conceal her feet.  What started off as an endearing foible became a bloody nuisance and she broke it off in a fit of rage after a particularly irritating visit to the local mall.  

This photo was clearly taken in happier times hence the slight smile and the full display of feet. Our goth is appropriately pale and black-clad. She’s a decent height up the tree and it’s either overcast or taken at dusk. 

4.4 out of 5 - I have a phobia of becoming dendrophobic. 

Elaine Valerie Rauhöft submitted this photo with the comment:

"This is my Goth up a tree. My daughter Hope has spent many hours in this tree throughout her life and I witnessed her gradual metamorphosis from child tree climber to Treegoth with great interest.  This tree was her refuge and friend and even though she has grown up now, it still is. This dress took us 2 years to sew and we took these pictures when it was finally finished in May 2013."

If I had an actual heart rather than a beautifully carved ice replica, this story of a girl growing with her tree into goth-hood would warm it. Instead, my ice replica heart crunched a bit in irritation because it didn’t understand why a dress would take 2 years to make. 
Dress construction time aside, this is a lovely photo of a goth up a tree.  She’s high up the tree, she’s not smiling and her 2 year old dress is displayed to it’s fullest drapey capacity. It’s daylight but she’s in the shade. 
4.7 out of 5 - Sometimes my ice replica heart and my vodka addled brain have disagreements ending in delicious slushies. 

Elaine Valerie Rauhöft submitted this photo with the comment:

"This is my Goth up a tree. My daughter Hope has spent many hours in this tree throughout her life and I witnessed her gradual metamorphosis from child tree climber to Treegoth with great interest.  This tree was her refuge and friend and even though she has grown up now, it still is. This dress took us 2 years to sew and we took these pictures when it was finally finished in May 2013."

If I had an actual heart rather than a beautifully carved ice replica, this story of a girl growing with her tree into goth-hood would warm it. Instead, my ice replica heart crunched a bit in irritation because it didn’t understand why a dress would take 2 years to make. 

Dress construction time aside, this is a lovely photo of a goth up a tree.  She’s high up the tree, she’s not smiling and her 2 year old dress is displayed to it’s fullest drapey capacity. It’s daylight but she’s in the shade. 

4.7 out of 5 - Sometimes my ice replica heart and my vodka addled brain have disagreements ending in delicious slushies. 

Bianka Grüneberg-Meyer submitted this photo with the comment “hello hello, here I am in a selfmade dress up on a broken tree on “Urwald” Lovely greetings from Germany”
Lovely greetings back at you, Bianka!  I was in Germany last month and I saw no goths up trees.  I didn’t even see any goths in the general vicinity of a tree (apart from myself, of course, but I don’t count).  Perhaps I missed them because they were, like this lady, wearing earthy tones and were camouflaged.  Either that or goths don’t get up trees on the autobahn, at tourist destinations, or in bars…
I know some of you will be questioning this lady’s gothness due to her outfit. I put it to you that her steampunk-y, Victorian inspired outfit is goth-compatible.  I think you’ll agree that the picture is lovely, though.  She’s a low height in the tree and she’s not smiling.  It’s daylight but she’s in the midst of a scene of beautiful death and decay.
3.7 out of 5 - I think I need to go back to Germany and search a little harder.

Bianka Grüneberg-Meyer submitted this photo with the comment “hello hello, here I am in a selfmade dress up on a broken tree on “Urwald” Lovely greetings from Germany”

Lovely greetings back at you, Bianka!  I was in Germany last month and I saw no goths up trees.  I didn’t even see any goths in the general vicinity of a tree (apart from myself, of course, but I don’t count).  Perhaps I missed them because they were, like this lady, wearing earthy tones and were camouflaged.  Either that or goths don’t get up trees on the autobahn, at tourist destinations, or in bars…

I know some of you will be questioning this lady’s gothness due to her outfit. I put it to you that her steampunk-y, Victorian inspired outfit is goth-compatible.  I think you’ll agree that the picture is lovely, though.  She’s a low height in the tree and she’s not smiling.  It’s daylight but she’s in the midst of a scene of beautiful death and decay.

3.7 out of 5 - I think I need to go back to Germany and search a little harder.

Sam B submitted this photo with the comment “At Burning Man I found a tree made of bones (real ones, not casts!), nothing for it but to get a photo.  Sadly I couldn’t climb it as the tree would not have stood up to it well.  Please excuse the dust, it un-blackened my clothing.”
Yes, yes, he’s not up the tree but the tree is made of real bones!  I want a tree made of bones!  I could make one from chicken bones from last night’s roast but it would be a very small tree.  Hold on, I could make a chicken bone Christmas tree! YES
Our goth here is as far up his tree as he can be in the circumstances. It’s night time and he’s not smiling.   Bonus points for one of the gothest trees I’ve seen yet. The concept of a goth attending Burning Man intrigues me but I’m making the assumption that this goth only emerges from his tent at night thereby avoiding all that nasty sun.
3.99 out of 5 - One chicken bone Christmas tree coming right up.

Sam B submitted this photo with the comment “At Burning Man I found a tree made of bones (real ones, not casts!), nothing for it but to get a photo.  Sadly I couldn’t climb it as the tree would not have stood up to it well.  Please excuse the dust, it un-blackened my clothing.”

Yes, yes, he’s not up the tree but the tree is made of real bones!  I want a tree made of bones!  I could make one from chicken bones from last night’s roast but it would be a very small tree.  Hold on, I could make a chicken bone Christmas tree! YES

Our goth here is as far up his tree as he can be in the circumstances. It’s night time and he’s not smiling.   Bonus points for one of the gothest trees I’ve seen yet. The concept of a goth attending Burning Man intrigues me but I’m making the assumption that this goth only emerges from his tent at night thereby avoiding all that nasty sun.

3.99 out of 5 - One chicken bone Christmas tree coming right up.

so-i-mimed-ducks submitted this photo with the comment “British goth up a French tree…”
That’s bloody multicultural goth up a tree action, that is.  I propose that this is how we solve international conflict: everyone involved gets up a tree belonging to an opposing nation and then they discuss the issues. Probably via video conference.  Up tree video conferences in the dark with all involved dressed in goffick attire and trying not to smile.  I can’t imagine this idea not working.
This goth is a decent height up the tree, they’re not smiling and they’re in the shade, although it is daylight.  Bonus points for the spiky accessories.  I don’t know what’s written on the t shirt but I probably should.  
4.4 out of 5 - do they mean that the tree is located in France or is the tree native to France? 

so-i-mimed-ducks submitted this photo with the comment “British goth up a French tree…”

That’s bloody multicultural goth up a tree action, that is.  I propose that this is how we solve international conflict: everyone involved gets up a tree belonging to an opposing nation and then they discuss the issues. Probably via video conference.  Up tree video conferences in the dark with all involved dressed in goffick attire and trying not to smile.  I can’t imagine this idea not working.

This goth is a decent height up the tree, they’re not smiling and they’re in the shade, although it is daylight.  Bonus points for the spiky accessories.  I don’t know what’s written on the t shirt but I probably should.  

4.4 out of 5 - do they mean that the tree is located in France or is the tree native to France? 

croserun submitted this photo with the comment “It was 2003.  I was underage and convinced that oversized hoodies were the height of fashion.  I stood in a tree in a corset, my friend perched above me.  WE ARE GOTHS.”
I like how adamant she is that she and her friend are goths.  Gone are the days when goths refused to be labelled. “No we’re not goths, we’re unique individuals who reject your tedious subculture stereotypes! We just like wearing black, damnit.”  I have actual medical proof that I am a goth, as I just got some test results back that show that I’m severely vitamin D deficient.  How does one become vitamin D deficient, I hear you ask? LACK OF SUNLIGHT. HA! Proof of goth!
They’re a decent height up the tree and they’re not smiling. It’s a cold and gloomy looking day, perfect for working on your vitamin D deficiency.  They’re wearing the kind of outfits I would have worn in 2003, so bonus points there. 
4.7 out of 5 - They should print your vitamin D status on goth cards for proof of gothness.

croserun submitted this photo with the comment “It was 2003.  I was underage and convinced that oversized hoodies were the height of fashion.  I stood in a tree in a corset, my friend perched above me.  WE ARE GOTHS.”

I like how adamant she is that she and her friend are goths.  Gone are the days when goths refused to be labelled. “No we’re not goths, we’re unique individuals who reject your tedious subculture stereotypes! We just like wearing black, damnit.”  I have actual medical proof that I am a goth, as I just got some test results back that show that I’m severely vitamin D deficient.  How does one become vitamin D deficient, I hear you ask? LACK OF SUNLIGHT. HA! Proof of goth!

They’re a decent height up the tree and they’re not smiling. It’s a cold and gloomy looking day, perfect for working on your vitamin D deficiency.  They’re wearing the kind of outfits I would have worn in 2003, so bonus points there.

4.7 out of 5 - They should print your vitamin D status on goth cards for proof of gothness.

sempiternaltearsontape submitted this photo with the comment “This was one of several trees my friend Laura and I climbed on Friday 13th. This particular photo was taken by our wonderful friend Bryce in a 19th Century cemetery in Sydney not too far from where I live.”
Happy gothmas everyone! To celebrate gothmas (or Halloween as you non-goths call it) we have some of my countrymen (or country-people) up a tree in a cemetery in front of a McDonalds establishment.  It’s so good of Maccas to set up shop next to a cemetery to cater for the small portion of the goth population who love a bit of fast food after a long hard up-tree cemetery session.  
Our goths here are doing all the right things: they’re high up the tree, they’re not smiling and they’re gothed up appropriately.  They’re out in daylight but they’re in the shade.  I’m not sure whether their up-tree positions suggest relaxed goth-friendship or if one is supporting the other after she ingested some fast “food”. Either way I like it.
4.8 out of 5 - I hope there’s a pub near that cemetery as well.

sempiternaltearsontape submitted this photo with the comment “This was one of several trees my friend Laura and I climbed on Friday 13th. This particular photo was taken by our wonderful friend Bryce in a 19th Century cemetery in Sydney not too far from where I live.”

Happy gothmas everyone! To celebrate gothmas (or Halloween as you non-goths call it) we have some of my countrymen (or country-people) up a tree in a cemetery in front of a McDonalds establishment.  It’s so good of Maccas to set up shop next to a cemetery to cater for the small portion of the goth population who love a bit of fast food after a long hard up-tree cemetery session. 

Our goths here are doing all the right things: they’re high up the tree, they’re not smiling and they’re gothed up appropriately.  They’re out in daylight but they’re in the shade.  I’m not sure whether their up-tree positions suggest relaxed goth-friendship or if one is supporting the other after she ingested some fast “food”. Either way I like it.

4.8 out of 5 - I hope there’s a pub near that cemetery as well.

madfishmonger submitted this photo with the comment “After the Grand and Gothic Ball, we went to the nearby graveyard and took some photos. My friend kept making me laugh, but I am trying to look gloomy; I didn’t want to lose points for smiling.”
What kind of friend tries to make a fellow goth smile whilst she’s up a tree and has all the elements of a 5 star photo going for her?  An inconsiderate friend who should probably be struck from the friends-list!  This goth isn’t strictly smiling but she does look amused.  She’s in a commanding pose and is well dressed for a Ball.  I particularly like the self-stripe theme to her outfit.  She’s high up the tree and it’s night time.  Top work.
4.98 out of 5 - Reassess friendships with sabotaging goths

madfishmonger submitted this photo with the comment “After the Grand and Gothic Ball, we went to the nearby graveyard and took some photos. My friend kept making me laugh, but I am trying to look gloomy; I didn’t want to lose points for smiling.”

What kind of friend tries to make a fellow goth smile whilst she’s up a tree and has all the elements of a 5 star photo going for her?  An inconsiderate friend who should probably be struck from the friends-list!  This goth isn’t strictly smiling but she does look amused.  She’s in a commanding pose and is well dressed for a Ball.  I particularly like the self-stripe theme to her outfit.  She’s high up the tree and it’s night time.  Top work.

4.98 out of 5 - Reassess friendships with sabotaging goths

Dan submitted this photo with the comment:

 “This is a photo of my friend Dave up a tree in Harlow town park. Our band Surrender The Coast were on  tour and had some time to kill before our show in Harlow that night so we went for a walk and spotted the opportunity. I think he looks rather deep in thought.”

I suspect he’s deep in thought about how he can increase his hardcore-ness level beyond Level 3: ‘In a band with a totally hardcore name’.  I would suggest some tattoos, maybe a flesh tunnel or two.  I think we can safely say that this guy is more hardcore/metalcore than goth but, you know, to the untrained eye all those bloody black-wearing kids look the same.  He’s high up the tree, he’s not smiling and he’s in the shade on an overcast looking day.  Bonus points because I’ve been on holiday and I’m feeling generous.
3.4 out of 5 - Stop taking advantage of my holiday-induced generosity.
[edited because even I thought I was too generous]

Dan submitted this photo with the comment:

“This is a photo of my friend Dave up a tree in Harlow town park. Our band Surrender The Coast were on  tour and had some time to kill before our show in Harlow that night so we went for a walk and spotted the opportunity. I think he looks rather deep in thought.”

I suspect he’s deep in thought about how he can increase his hardcore-ness level beyond Level 3: ‘In a band with a totally hardcore name’.  I would suggest some tattoos, maybe a flesh tunnel or two.  I think we can safely say that this guy is more hardcore/metalcore than goth but, you know, to the untrained eye all those bloody black-wearing kids look the same.  He’s high up the tree, he’s not smiling and he’s in the shade on an overcast looking day.  Bonus points because I’ve been on holiday and I’m feeling generous.

3.4 out of 5 - Stop taking advantage of my holiday-induced generosity.

[edited because even I thought I was too generous]

glendon-allens-monster submitted this photo with the comment “Me up a tree in Oakwood Cemetery”
Glendon here has done a top job with this one.  He’s found a tree that some moron with a swiss army knife defaced with uber profound words that make me want to stab myself in the eye with my stylus.   I must restrain myself, however, for the sake of the trees… and my fellow goths.
Our goth here is high up the tree, he’s not smiling, and he’s in the shade, although it is daylight.  He hasn’t given me a location because there are approximately 20 million cemeteries in the world called ‘Oakwood’, which would be disappointing if I cared in the slightest.
4.6 out of 10 - Scar yourself not trees.

glendon-allens-monster submitted this photo with the comment “Me up a tree in Oakwood Cemetery”

Glendon here has done a top job with this one.  He’s found a tree that some moron with a swiss army knife defaced with uber profound words that make me want to stab myself in the eye with my stylus.   I must restrain myself, however, for the sake of the trees… and my fellow goths.

Our goth here is high up the tree, he’s not smiling, and he’s in the shade, although it is daylight.  He hasn’t given me a location because there are approximately 20 million cemeteries in the world called ‘Oakwood’, which would be disappointing if I cared in the slightest.

4.6 out of 10 - Scar yourself not trees.

Karla submitted this photo with the comment “Chilling.”
Chilling or chilly? This goth seems to have lost her clothes somewhere along the line.  I’m glad she retained her shoes because cold feet are just the worst!  How does a goth lose their clothes but not their shoes?   Um, while changing outfits for a photoshoot she became startled by a rogue amorous deer and hid up a tree? I’m concerned about the potential for sunburn here due to near maximum skin exposure, especially being blonde ‘n all.  She doesn’t look concerned though.
She’s a decent height up the tree, she’s not smiling and she’s in the shade although she is out in the sun.   Her outfit is somewhat limited but it is a pretty setting. Ah, nice shoes.
4.3 out of 5 - I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay.

Karla submitted this photo with the comment “Chilling.”

Chilling or chilly? This goth seems to have lost her clothes somewhere along the line.  I’m glad she retained her shoes because cold feet are just the worst!  How does a goth lose their clothes but not their shoes?   Um, while changing outfits for a photoshoot she became startled by a rogue amorous deer and hid up a tree? I’m concerned about the potential for sunburn here due to near maximum skin exposure, especially being blonde ‘n all.  She doesn’t look concerned though.

She’s a decent height up the tree, she’s not smiling and she’s in the shade although she is out in the sun.   Her outfit is somewhat limited but it is a pretty setting. Ah, nice shoes.

4.3 out of 5 - I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay.

woolfie submitted this photo with the comment “Tamsin from AAAK [As Able As Kane] up a tree after playing INfest Festival 2013. #GothsUpTrees”
Wow, this highly patterned goth totally exceeded the non-smiling requirement here to the point that she looks like someone took her alcohol away from her.  No alcohol? SAD FACE.  She should be happy faced if she just played at Infest.  She’s a decent height up a picturesque weeping willow. She has no trace of a smile on her face. It’s daylight but she’s in the shade.
4.8 out of 5 - I suspect the sad face is because one of the other bands on the Infest lineup drank her rider.

woolfie submitted this photo with the comment “Tamsin from AAAK [As Able As Kane] up a tree after playing INfest Festival 2013. #GothsUpTrees”

Wow, this highly patterned goth totally exceeded the non-smiling requirement here to the point that she looks like someone took her alcohol away from her.  No alcohol? SAD FACE.  She should be happy faced if she just played at Infest.  She’s a decent height up a picturesque weeping willow. She has no trace of a smile on her face. It’s daylight but she’s in the shade.

4.8 out of 5 - I suspect the sad face is because one of the other bands on the Infest lineup drank her rider.

frankenmermaid submitted this photo with the comment “This was where I spent my lunch the last 3yrs of high school. My friend heard of your page and decided to snap this photo one day.”
I can’t help but picture this lovely goth lady spending 3 years’ worth of lunch breaks in this exact position and imagine how much that would hurt her back, which could explain the slightly pained expression on her face.
She’s high up the tree, in the shade and has a nice summertime goth outfit on.  I wouldn’t say she was smiling, but she does look as if she’s in pain/probably needs to relieve herself shortly.  Points deducted for low photo quality.
4.3 out of 5 - You’d pull that face too if you’d been sitting like that for 3 years.

frankenmermaid submitted this photo with the comment “This was where I spent my lunch the last 3yrs of high school. My friend heard of your page and decided to snap this photo one day.”

I can’t help but picture this lovely goth lady spending 3 years’ worth of lunch breaks in this exact position and imagine how much that would hurt her back, which could explain the slightly pained expression on her face.

She’s high up the tree, in the shade and has a nice summertime goth outfit on.  I wouldn’t say she was smiling, but she does look as if she’s in pain/probably needs to relieve herself shortly.  Points deducted for low photo quality.

4.3 out of 5 - You’d pull that face too if you’d been sitting like that for 3 years.