Jennifer Roche submitted this photo with the comment “This was taken by my daughter and is in our local park in Dublin, Ireland. This particular tree is very low-hanging and easy climb. Handy if you’re in high-heeled boots….which I was! ;)”
I hate to tell you, needlessly worried parents of babygoths around the world, but being a goth often isn’t ‘just a phase’, as proven by this eldergoth up a tree. It’s true that some goths do magically wake up having morphed over night into rockabilly types, or gradually tone it down until they’re just vaguely alternative people who like the odd black boot, but many just keep on keeping on.
This particular eldergoth has done well to get to that height in her high-heeled boots but, unfortunately, she is smiling. You’d think that all those years of gothness would turn your mouth into a permanent child-scaring sneer. Damn, I was counting on that. She’s out in the daylight but she’s in the shade. Bonus points for the cute outfit.
4.6 out of 5 - Eldergoths, we salute you!
thechemicaldarkness submitted this photo with the comment “My boyfriend and I took it upon ourselves to climb this tree as it seemed the perfect spot to eat cookies :)”
Eating cookies up trees isn’t really all that goth, though, is it? That is unless the cookies were made of dark chocolate, spices, and the eyeliner-infused tears of Robert Smith, and they were dunked in goblets of Swiss absinthe.
Our goth looks a little scared here but perhaps they were *those* kind of cookies and she was feeling a tad paranoid. I wouldn’t worry if I were her because she looks ensconced in her tree. She’s not smiling, she is a decent height up the eucalyptus (?!) tree and she’s in the shade, despite the daylight. Bonus points for the frilliness of the outfit..
4.85 out of 5 - I need a snack.
Sara submitted this photo with the comment “I showed my partners your website and they lolied me up and made me climb a tree! :-)”
Our goth here has made it sound like she was forced to loli-up and climb this tree as some sort of revenge by her partners for showing them this site. Come to think of it, her hands could be tied behind her back in this photo too. This raises the question, how on earth could you climb a tree with massive platform goth-loli mary-janes and your hands tied behind your back? You can’t. She must have teleported up. Awesome.
She’s nicely lolied up for the forced tree-sitting occasion, so well done to her partners. She’s high up the tree and she’s not smiling but she does have an amused look in her eye. It’s daylight but she’s in the shade. Bonus points for teleportation.
4.8 out of 5 - Sit up trees of your own free will.
Ian submitted this photo with no comment.
These boys have both reached commendable tree heights in this picture but I don’t think they’re overly goth; perhaps more goth-compatible. I don’t know what it is about the top guy but his pose, his hair situation, or something reminds me of the most charming animal in the world, a sloth. Sloths must be mostly goth because they share 3 letters between them and they sit around in trees a lot. Yes, I’m struggling a bit here.
They’re not smiling and they’re both at an excellent height up the tree. Points for effort with the face paint and poses. It’s daylight and they’re out in the sun so points deducted there.
3 out of 5 - I FOUND SOME GOTH SLOTHS - here and here and this fine animated gif here
EvilToasterMuffin submitted this photo and two others with the comment:
I have been wanting to send a picture in for a very long time. I apologize for the daylight- I figured evening light is better than stabby, stab, stab by a mugger since its not safe at night here. And the the smile is a smile for evil and darkness! :p I made the dress myself. I am rocking boots and strippy socks too! Thank you!
“A smile for evil and darkness”? That’s a new one, so points for giving that a try. I’m glad that our goth didn’t put herself in danger of “stabby, stab, stab by a mugger” for the sake of a photo. However, it would have made an amazing action shot. NEW BLOG IDEA: Goths stabbing muggers with parasols up trees… it’d never work.
Our goth made her impressive dress and gets bonus points for sewing ability. We can see her stripy socks and excellent pointy boots in her third photo which she kindly provided for proof. She’s high up the tree and she has a parasol to shield her from the sun’s rays and potential muggers. She’s smiling but that’s the smile of someone who isn’t being mugged. I have that smile right now.
4.8 out of 5 - Smile if you’re not being mugged!
ecksipoo submitted this photo with the comment “Brutal Goth <3”
I can’t really see much of what’s going on here but we’re told its br00tal. My uber goth pug is the most br00tal person in the house (you can tell by her hat) and she said this. I’ll take her word for it.
Our br00tal goffick is a lowish height in the tree but she’s not smiling and she’s added +10 atmosphere and made it near impossible to judge the type of day by making the image black and white. Cunning and brutal. What next?
4 out of 5 - Always refer to your pets when it comes to questions of br00tality.
Rachel Gilley submitted this photo with the comment “Here’s one for ya, Madame Archel up a tree, about 10 years ago in a cemetery OF ALL THINGS. I know. Imagine.”
A photo of the lovely and ageless (damn her) Madame Archel dressed as a fairy up a tree! I had a quiet fangirl moment when I received this because I used to “follow” Madame Archel during my baby-goth days where I spent the majority of my internet time looking at hot goff chix on LiveJournal groups and trying to copy their make-up *sigh*. Now I reflect on it, I still do that, just not on LiveJournal.
Anyway, this photo is 10 years old and, yet again, proves the enduring appeal of being a goth and posing up a tree. Our goth isn’t smiling and she’s high up the tree. It’s daylight and she’s unfortunately slightly in the sun. Bonus points for the PVC, the hair falls, the fairy wings, and the age of the photo.
4.8 out of 5 - I forgot to mention the cemetery but we can’t see it so it’s like it doesn’t exist.
androgynous-space-demon submitted this photo with the comment “Me, in a tree, At a tea room garden, near my home in Bristol”
A goth up a tree at a tea room garden? How perfectly civilised. It is a well known fact that the gothic subculture consume more tea per capita than any other subculture, so being a goth up a tree in a tea room garden would be a comforting experience, which would explain the somewhat serene look on our goth’s face. Unfortunately, I don’t like tea which has always made me feel like less of a goth (as if that’s even possible with my blonde hair an’ all).
Our goth here is obviously one of the tea-drinking majority. She isn’t smiling, she’s a decent height up the tree and she’s skilfully gothed up. It even looks like the sun is going down on the scene, which is most pleasing. Nicely done.
4.8 out of 5 - Why is a raven like a writing desk? Because goths.
lauren krothe submitted this photo with the comment “i’m a singer-composer named lauren krothe, and in my most recent music video, a morbid tale of death and rebirth entitled “a darker side,” i managed to find my way up a tree. see for yourself! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSjfkzAfv6Q”
This alluring goth lady is in love with a darker side, as she declares in her music video, and decided that the best way to express that love was to sing about it while up a tree. Obviously, I agree that’s the most effective method of communication of dark-side love. In the video she looks pretty happy about it but luckily in this photo she has restrained her joy a bit. She’s high up the tree and she’s nicely gothed up for a bit of up-tree singing. It’s daylight but she’s in the shade. Bonus points for incorporating being a goth up a tree into a music video. There should be more of it.
4.7 out of 5 - Sing it from the tree tops… or from mid-tree
Sam Foreman submitted this photo with the comment “My friend and I found this fantastic and rather climbable willow tree in a local park and we thought it would be a great opportunity for a goths up trees photo. :)”
I think you’ll all agree that this is excellent work from this pair of goth ladies. I especially like the goth-composition in this photo as we have goths at different heights but with their outfits mostly visible. They’re at medium and high levels up the tree, which is great. They’re not smiling and they’re in lovely summer-time goth outfits. Bonus points for the attractive tree, the top goth’s heels and the lower goth’s fan. Is that some kind of bicycle in the bottom left corner? Did these goths arrive to their tree by tandem cycle? I hope so.
4.8 out of 5 - I am grateful that they identified the Willow tree for me because clearly I know more about goths than I do trees. Perhaps I should do a tree identification course.
David Hanjani submitted this photo with no comment.
I suspect this person decided to put on all the black clothing they could find and climbed the tree while cleverly covering their face to ensure their co-workers wouldn’t recognise them at work in the morning. I could be wrong… nah.
For starters, his co-workers probably don’t read this blog (fools!). For main course, I can’t see his face so I can’t detect from his eyes whether he’s an authentic goff or not (yes, it’s my superpower and it’s on my résumé under ‘Other Skills’). For dessert, BLACK FOREST CAKE because it’s the gothest and tree-est dessert in the world. Hmmm black forest cake.
This potential once-off goth (OOG) has done well to cover nearly all skin in blackness, which is great. Excellent effort with the boots although they could be more stompy. I suspect he borrowed that scarf from his Mum but good on him for having a Mum with funky scarves. He’s high up the tree. Who knows if he’s smiling.
4 out of 5 - Black forest cake. Black forest cake. Black forest cake.
stillsostrange submitted this photo with the comment “A ren faire goth up a tree. Every time a Bauhaus song plays, a goth fairy gets her wings.”
I thought it was that every time a Bauhaus song plays, a babygoth says “christ those eldergoths listen to some boring shit, put on some Combichrist!”, which results in the eldergoths giving them a withering look (being secretly gratified that the Kids Are Still Idiots™) and commences the ritual stripping of the babygoth’s right to be called a ‘goth’. At least, that’s how it used to be.
Our goth fairy here is high up the tree and she’s not smiling. She’s out in daylight, unfortunately, but she’s in the shade. Bonus points for the corset, wings, creative makeup and beak-like head-wear.
4.6 out of 5 - It’s a lot more pleasant for Bauhaus to trigger a goth fairy getting their wings than goths of various ages taking the piss out of each other.
fangbrain submitted this photo with the comment “My Friend and I had been looking for some good trees to submit. We tried the local graveyard, but the tree we wanted to climb wasn’t very sturdy, and a huge tree we found in the middle of an old forest, well it was a pain in the ass to get to. So we got photos in the middle of a park.”
It warms the putrid old molluscs of my heart to know that this goth and his friend took the time to find the best tree in multiple locations, instead of just submitting any old crap tree and hoping for the best. I think you’ll all agree with me that this dedication to the cause has resulted in a very fine photo of a goth up a tree. He’s looking quite suave and nonchalant, like he was born to pose up trees. The tree is very sturdy looking and, as a result, our goth was able to climb high. It’s daylight but it’s an overcast day and our goth is in the shade.
4.8 out of 5 - Do your research and reap the up-tree rewards
thisismyplague submitted this photo with the comment:
MichMich ToxikKandi. ”I have split. Physically, still here, but mentally, have left Hot Topic and now there’s so much space.”
I’m not going to lie, I’m struggling with the ugg style boots. I don’t care if your uggs are black, have buckles, embroidered bats and “I’M A MASSIVE GOTH” inscribed on them in blood, they’re still ugg boots and, therefore, should be restricted to in-house wear only!
Now I have that out of my system, I do like the stripy socks, the exceptionally pretty tree, the fine tree height and lack of smiling displayed here. It’s daylight but they’re in the shade.
3 out of 5 - I have to score this person low on goth points because goths do not wear uggs in public unless there is some kind of emergency that does not leave time for appropriate dressing (or there is a midnight chocolate emergency and their partner convinced them that no one would see them in the shop *cough*).
shebelievesinabeauty submitted this photo with the comment “This is from a modelling shoot I did recently, and I had a grand old time climbing that tree!”
This goth is displaying splendid form in the long-established tradition of goths up trees. I haven’t seen such dramatic hand and face modelling for at least a couple of months. Our goth is beautifully dressed with lovely makeup and she’s really embodying the spirit of the whole thing. You know, the Thing. Is it coincidence that her forearm tattoo is pulling the same expression as she is? I think not! She’s in the sun, it’s true, but she looks to be a decent height in the tree and she’s not smiling.
4.8 out of 5 - I’m impressed.