Melissa submitted this photo with the comment “This is a shoot a friend and I did and the whole time we were snickering that we should submit it to Goths Up Trees. It was a fantastic time, but heels and trees are a ridiculous combo! Cheers!”
Heels and trees can be a ridiculous combo, I agree, but so can furry chaps and trees. Unless, of course, you’re dressed as a gothy faun, in which case that’s completely acceptable and not at all ridiculous.
There’s no explanation of the fauny costume but it makes sense that a faun would be situated near or up trees. I’m struggling to draw any comparison between goths and fauns but I can between goths and satyrs because they’re “wild and orgiastic drunken followers of Bacchus”. That’s more like it!
She’s a goth in faun’s clothing, as evidenced by the excellent boots and lacy costume. She’s not smiling but she’s possibly the lowest in the tree you can get. It’s day time but she’s in the shade.
3.9 out of 5 - I met a half-woman/half-goat the other day. She was a lot of faun. *cough* I’m not sorry.
Natalie S submitted this photo with the comment “If you can’t laugh at yourself… every time me and my friend go to a park, we climb trees and take pictures in them. I’m so glad there’s finally a place to put those pictures! I hope I embodied the goths up trees theme well! :P”
I’ve decided I’m going to classify tree-hangers in the following way: a) how far they’ve pulled themselves off the ground, and b) the position they’re in (aka, how well you could photoshop the goth for hilarious memes). Based on that, I’d say she’s a low/medium height off the ground and the position is quite good, as you could easily photoshop a unicorn or My Little Pony in so she was sitting side-saddle.
She’s looking very happy and the sun is out, which is unfortunate. Her outfit is nicely goth-casual.
3.9 out of 5 - They see me hangin’, they hatin’
Nikki submitted this photo with the comment “This was taken last year by my boyfriend. I wouldn’t usually think of myself as a goth but I wore this outfit on my birthday (went to Camden :D) and I thought it looked pretty gothy. Would you consider this enough up a tree to count? My feet aren’t touching the ground so I thought it might be ok.”
Nikki has assured me that both her feet are off the ground in this photo and I think we’re going to have to take her word for it. She’s doing some excellent hand modelling in this photo. Someone once told me that 90% of modelling is in the hands, however someone else once told me that 90% of modelling is in the eyes. So if 180% of modelling is in the eyes and hands then that’s probably why I’m a crap model because I model with my feet and typewriter.
I particularly like the way the burl on this tree makes it looks as if it has the dreaded scrotum disease (come on, you know what I’m talking about). She’s low in the tree and it’s daytime but she’s not smiling. She looks as if she was looking for her lost kitten and all she found was a scrot tree. How disappointing.
3.9 out of 5 - if 90% of modelling is your hands what’s the point of trees?
justkeepbusy submitted this photo with the comment “Juliet on a tree(stump)”
Arg, out of focus photos make me feel ill! This photo is very odd. It’s like the ground is moving and the person on the tree is sitting still; like the tree is the centre or some kind of vortex that’s sucking in the goth and everything around it. Luckily, the goth’s bum is plugging the vortex a little bit and this probably accounts for her slightly pained expression.
OK, so she’s on a stump but at least the ex-tree is supporting her full weight. She’s not high up, obviously, and it’s day time. At least she’s not smiling. Nice stripy tights but she could have gothed up a bit more.
3.9 out of 5 - Try not to get sucked into a vortex, but if you do, please take a photo for me.
sinofsociety submitted this photo with the comment “This is my wife Leigh up a tree.”
In summary: this person is high up a tree, they’re not smiling, and it’s night time (fantastic!) but this photo really needs more goth action. By ‘goth action’ I mean there needs to be a recognisable goth in the photo because I have difficulty allocating points for gothness when there are blue jeans, white socks and runners involved. However, this photo does get points for effort seeing as it has satisfied most of the criteria, and this person has at least put on some fishnet arm-warmers as a small nod to gothdom. She’s looking quite serene up there, which I like.
3.9 out of 5 - Needs more goth action
blacktinged submitted this photo with the comment “Just me climbing a tree on Easter.”
Surfer dude from the 90s: “Yo, what did you do for Easter?”
Blacktinged: “Dressed up in my gothest finery and hopped up a tree.”
Surfer dude: “Sweet, dude, how did you go?”
Blacktinged: “I nailed it. I wore my bazillion hole docs over my black jeans with my belt on backwards, my batty hoodie, my Jack Skellington beanie, that sweet ankh my Mum gave me for Christmas and my coffin bag!”
Surfer dude: “Whoa, dude, you really put on all of your goth stuff!”
Blackginged: “I know. I looked so awesome that I smiled in the photo, though”.
Surfer dude: “Bummer, dude. Were you high up the tree?”
Blackginge: “Sorta, not really. It was day time too.”
Surfer dude: “I’m sure your enthusiasm will be evident and therefore you will get a decent score”.
3.9 out of 5 - Don’t let your enthusiasm outshine your gothness.
Cassie submitted this photo with no comment.
To be honest, I think this goth could have put a little more effort in for us, her viewing audience; you know, climbed a bit higher up the tree, frowned a bit more, used her wizarding powers to darken the sky. It doesn’t look warm and she’s wearing a practical tree climbing outfit including practical tree climbing boots so, really, she has no reason to not be higher… unless she has some terrible back problem or vertigo issue that stops her from climbing higher than a few feet off the ground, in which case, well done for getting that high!
3.9 out of 5 - Climb higher! Frown more! Get that wand out! Make assumptions! Drink a litre of absinthe! Fall down! Climb higher! Fall down! etc. etc.
Alex submitted this photo with the comment “The beautiful Sarah.”
This goth is very cute and colourful and happy to be up a tree. She has reminded me to put orthodontic rubber bands on my shopping list (for plaiting in my fake hair, of course) and for that I’m thankful. The hat may be on for style reasons, or perhaps hiding regrowth reasons, but it offers bonus facial shade which is always a plus. How far is she up the tree? Who knows. She’s smiling and it’s daylight so let’s go with medium height to balance it all out.
3.9 out of 5 - HAPPY TREE FRIEND