Paisley Wayward submitted this photo with no comment.
Here we have a goth with hippie tendencies (gippy? hoth? hipoth?) up a tree.  She’s peering at the sky with a look of disdain, which is the way all goths should observe the sun, especially when one has tattoos because one does not want one’s tattoos to fade! 
Our goth is not smiling and she’s mostly in the shade despite the daylight.  I am unable to see her feet to get an accurate impression of her tree height, but I think I can deduce from her effort in the other areas that she is a low/medium height up the tree (however, I’m in the midst of a chocolate stupor so my judgement may be impaired).  Bonus points for the excellent dreadies and pretty tattoos. 

4 out of 5 - Happy zombie-alcohol-chocolate holiday to me.  Oh, alright… and to you too, you needy bastards.

Paisley Wayward submitted this photo with no comment.

Here we have a goth with hippie tendencies (gippy? hoth? hipoth?) up a tree.  She’s peering at the sky with a look of disdain, which is the way all goths should observe the sun, especially when one has tattoos because one does not want one’s tattoos to fade! 

Our goth is not smiling and she’s mostly in the shade despite the daylight.  I am unable to see her feet to get an accurate impression of her tree height, but I think I can deduce from her effort in the other areas that she is a low/medium height up the tree (however, I’m in the midst of a chocolate stupor so my judgement may be impaired).  Bonus points for the excellent dreadies and pretty tattoos. 

4 out of 5 - Happy zombie-alcohol-chocolate holiday to me.  Oh, alright… and to you too, you needy bastards.

Brydie & Emma submitted this photo with the comment:

"Local Goths spotted clinging to the only nature in sleepwalking distance from their lair in the dead cold heart of Wellington city, New zealand. These two dismal goths rarely seen surfaced in the light of dismay..I mean day, try and do their best to blend in with the tree, but fail miserably as their pale flesh illuninates from the dreaded overpowering fucking sun. But we got you.. you cant hide forever you wicked wicked things."

I think these are the first self-identifying New Zealander goths I’ve received and I’m impressed by their effort (despite the use of a shitty filter on the photo and the blatant bandanna situation).  One has cunningly hidden her mouth to disguise any visible evidence of mirth.  I appreciate the effortless-looking athletic yet elegant pose of the higher level goth.  They’re a decent height up the tree. It’s day time and one is probably smiling but it’s hidden.
4 out of 5 - Good effort from our friends across the Tasman Sea. 

Brydie & Emma submitted this photo with the comment:

"Local Goths spotted clinging to the only nature in sleepwalking distance from their lair in the dead cold heart of Wellington city, New zealand. These two dismal goths rarely seen surfaced in the light of dismay..I mean day, try and do their best to blend in with the tree, but fail miserably as their pale flesh illuninates from the dreaded overpowering fucking sun. But we got you.. you cant hide forever you wicked wicked things."

I think these are the first self-identifying New Zealander goths I’ve received and I’m impressed by their effort (despite the use of a shitty filter on the photo and the blatant bandanna situation).  One has cunningly hidden her mouth to disguise any visible evidence of mirth.  I appreciate the effortless-looking athletic yet elegant pose of the higher level goth.  They’re a decent height up the tree. It’s day time and one is probably smiling but it’s hidden.

4 out of 5 - Good effort from our friends across the Tasman Sea. 

David Hanjani submitted this photo with no comment.
I suspect this person decided to put on all the black clothing they could find and climbed the tree while cleverly covering their face to ensure their co-workers wouldn’t recognise them at work in the morning.  I could be wrong… nah.
For starters, his co-workers probably don’t read this blog (fools!).  For main course, I can’t see his face so I can’t detect from his eyes whether he’s an authentic goff or not (yes, it’s my superpower and it’s on my résumé under ‘Other Skills’).  For dessert, BLACK FOREST CAKE because it’s the gothest and tree-est dessert in the world.  Hmmm black forest cake.
This potential once-off goth (OOG) has done well to cover nearly all skin in blackness, which is great.  Excellent effort with the boots although they could be more stompy.  I suspect he borrowed that scarf from his Mum but good on him for having a Mum with funky scarves.  He’s high up the tree.  Who knows if he’s smiling.  
4 out of 5 - Black forest cake.  Black forest cake.  Black forest cake.

David Hanjani submitted this photo with no comment.

I suspect this person decided to put on all the black clothing they could find and climbed the tree while cleverly covering their face to ensure their co-workers wouldn’t recognise them at work in the morning.  I could be wrong… nah.

For starters, his co-workers probably don’t read this blog (fools!).  For main course, I can’t see his face so I can’t detect from his eyes whether he’s an authentic goff or not (yes, it’s my superpower and it’s on my résumé under ‘Other Skills’).  For dessert, BLACK FOREST CAKE because it’s the gothest and tree-est dessert in the world.  Hmmm black forest cake.

This potential once-off goth (OOG) has done well to cover nearly all skin in blackness, which is great.  Excellent effort with the boots although they could be more stompy.  I suspect he borrowed that scarf from his Mum but good on him for having a Mum with funky scarves.  He’s high up the tree.  Who knows if he’s smiling. 

4 out of 5 - Black forest cake.  Black forest cake.  Black forest cake.

Pamcakes submitted this photo with the comment “This picture of me was taken by a then-friend in Rundle Park in Adelaide, South Australia, in the April of 2010. I was climbing and generally fooling around, and he joked that I looked ready to jump down and steal someone’s lunch money, and that he had to get a shot of it.”
Our goth’s relationship with the photographer has obviously broken down since this photo was taken and I’m sad about it because he was clearly an advocate for goths up trees.  Was it because he suggested that our goth looked as if they were about to commit a robbery? Was it the gratuitous crotch exposure?  It’s hard to know.  
Bonus points for the tree height, lack of smiling, gratuitous crotch exposure and for being a fellow Australian (the last two may well go hand in hand… wait).  Points deducted for the sun on the face.
4 out of 5 - That’s the most non-threatening potential thief I’ve ever seen.

Also, a company has made a book featuring some tumblrs and some photos from this blog are in it.  Yeah.

Pamcakes submitted this photo with the comment “This picture of me was taken by a then-friend in Rundle Park in Adelaide, South Australia, in the April of 2010. I was climbing and generally fooling around, and he joked that I looked ready to jump down and steal someone’s lunch money, and that he had to get a shot of it.”

Our goth’s relationship with the photographer has obviously broken down since this photo was taken and I’m sad about it because he was clearly an advocate for goths up trees.  Was it because he suggested that our goth looked as if they were about to commit a robbery? Was it the gratuitous crotch exposure?  It’s hard to know. 

Bonus points for the tree height, lack of smiling, gratuitous crotch exposure and for being a fellow Australian (the last two may well go hand in hand… wait).  Points deducted for the sun on the face.

4 out of 5 - That’s the most non-threatening potential thief I’ve ever seen.

Also, a company has made a book featuring some tumblrs and some photos from this blog are in it.  Yeah.

Katree McQuade submitted this photo with the comment “Katree again, spending a precious moment with my Bucky!”
So apparently Bucky is some kind of fortified wine with caffeine which seems to be popular with the Kids™ in the UK.  Fortified wine with caffeine sounds both terrifying and beautiful and perfect for goths.  I wish it was sold in Australia because I would have it as a breakfast drink with my toast and vegemite (the gothest spread in the history of spreads, I’ll have you know).
Now that I’ve done my Bucky research, I can see why you’d want to sit up a tree with only a bottle to keep you company.  This goth looks to be a decent height up a tree and she’s not smiling but she does have the satisfied smirk of someone who has consumed a “tonic wine”.  It’s daylight but she’s not in the sun.  
 4 out of 5 - Apparently Bucky is mentioned in a show called Britain’s Really Disgusting Drinks which makes me want to try it even more.

Katree McQuade submitted this photo with the comment “Katree again, spending a precious moment with my Bucky!”

So apparently Bucky is some kind of fortified wine with caffeine which seems to be popular with the Kids in the UK.  Fortified wine with caffeine sounds both terrifying and beautiful and perfect for goths.  I wish it was sold in Australia because I would have it as a breakfast drink with my toast and vegemite (the gothest spread in the history of spreads, I’ll have you know).

Now that I’ve done my Bucky research, I can see why you’d want to sit up a tree with only a bottle to keep you company.  This goth looks to be a decent height up a tree and she’s not smiling but she does have the satisfied smirk of someone who has consumed a “tonic wine”.  It’s daylight but she’s not in the sun.  

4 out of 5 - Apparently Bucky is mentioned in a show called Britain’s Really Disgusting Drinks which makes me want to try it even more.

Demonindistress submitted this photo and  one other with the comment “Lookie! I’m up a tree. In a cemetary. Freezing my skeletonish gloves off. ^^”
This goth is indeed in a cemetery (check the other less appropriate *cough* smiling *cough* photo if you don’t trust me - which you should do by now - tut tut), she’s found an excellent couple of trees to sit/swing in, and she has mastered the art of the vaguely-inquisitive-yet-not-that-interested look that we goths strive for.  She’s not high up the tree but it’s not her fault that she found a tree with a convenient perch.  There’s no smiling but it is daylight.  I need that cemetery fence in my life, preferably around a massive black bath or something.
4 out of 5 - That tree is so convenient that it looks fake. 

Demonindistress submitted this photo and one other with the comment “Lookie! I’m up a tree. In a cemetary. Freezing my skeletonish gloves off. ^^”

This goth is indeed in a cemetery (check the other less appropriate *cough* smiling *cough* photo if you don’t trust me - which you should do by now - tut tut), she’s found an excellent couple of trees to sit/swing in, and she has mastered the art of the vaguely-inquisitive-yet-not-that-interested look that we goths strive for.  She’s not high up the tree but it’s not her fault that she found a tree with a convenient perch.  There’s no smiling but it is daylight.  I need that cemetery fence in my life, preferably around a massive black bath or something.

4 out of 5 - That tree is so convenient that it looks fake. 

MissZed submitted this photo with the comment “my take on ‘steamgoth’ not sure if it qualifies for your site but wanted to share as I love the pics on here”
I take all sub-genres of goth here, friend, so your picture qualifies for posting.  Steampunk may not be my favourite goth offshoot (goffshoot - HAH) but I like this lady’s interpretation due to the minimal obvious brown clothing, random cogs or brass octopi.   She’s a medium height in the tree and is using a box for maximum boot display, which I approve of.  She’s out in daylight but she’s in the shade.  Bonus points for cute boots, stockings and corset.  Points deducted for flagrant smiling and what looks like joyous waving (although could be twig obstruction prevention).
4 out of 5 - Being steamy does not exclude you from the smiling rule.

MissZed submitted this photo with the comment “my take on ‘steamgoth’ not sure if it qualifies for your site but wanted to share as I love the pics on here”

I take all sub-genres of goth here, friend, so your picture qualifies for posting.  Steampunk may not be my favourite goth offshoot (goffshoot - HAH) but I like this lady’s interpretation due to the minimal obvious brown clothing, random cogs or brass octopi.   She’s a medium height in the tree and is using a box for maximum boot display, which I approve of.  She’s out in daylight but she’s in the shade.  Bonus points for cute boots, stockings and corset.  Points deducted for flagrant smiling and what looks like joyous waving (although could be twig obstruction prevention).

4 out of 5 - Being steamy does not exclude you from the smiling rule.

Jackie submitted this photo with the comment “Two of my very good friends in a tree at our local cemetery in Humboldt county, forgive the smiles, thc tends to do that to you..”
If the gothic subculture is your subculture of choice, friend, then I would consider trying alternative ways of achieving an altered state of consciousness that do not cause you to do something unfortunate like smile. THC is clearly not helping your uberness.
Bonus points for the cemetery location. I like the resourcefulness shown by perching on the trunk at a medium height rather than the branches of the tree. I can’t fully see what’s going on with the outfit but it looks warm and practical. Not sure what the supporting cast member is doing lurking in the corner but he/she/it is adding some eeriness to the shot. 
4 out of 5 - You need to consider your gothness in all states of consciousness.

Jackie submitted this photo with the comment “Two of my very good friends in a tree at our local cemetery in Humboldt county, forgive the smiles, thc tends to do that to you..”

If the gothic subculture is your subculture of choice, friend, then I would consider trying alternative ways of achieving an altered state of consciousness that do not cause you to do something unfortunate like smile. THC is clearly not helping your uberness.

Bonus points for the cemetery location. I like the resourcefulness shown by perching on the trunk at a medium height rather than the branches of the tree. I can’t fully see what’s going on with the outfit but it looks warm and practical. Not sure what the supporting cast member is doing lurking in the corner but he/she/it is adding some eeriness to the shot.

4 out of 5 - You need to consider your gothness in all states of consciousness.

Daintynymph submitted this photo with the comment “I saw a climbable tree while on a nature walk with my mom, so I had to at least attempt a “goth in a tree” picture. Perhaps it’s a bit too casual to qualify, but I feel that the lack of color and sunglasses on a cloudy day count for something. I also got chigger bites all over my legs for daring to leave the path in pursuit of a tree picture, so there’s some misery and woe for you.”
At this point, friend, I’ll take what goths I can get as I’m running low on goths in my inbox (hipsters, however, I have heaps of those - then again, who doesn’t?)  I have created an in-depth guide for non-goths who want me to post photos of them up trees on this blog: 1) take off your regular clothes,  2) put on goth clothes, 3) climb a tree.
This goth has admitted she’s in goth-casual clothes but her heartfelt tale of misery and woe really struck a chord with me as I too am afflicted by bites on my leg from an evil beast (well, a mosquito).  She’s a decent height up the tree, she’s looking relaxed despite the chigger infestation, it’s a cloudy day and she’s not smiling.
4 out of 5 - I just looked up chiggers.  Terrifying.

Daintynymph submitted this photo with the comment “I saw a climbable tree while on a nature walk with my mom, so I had to at least attempt a “goth in a tree” picture. Perhaps it’s a bit too casual to qualify, but I feel that the lack of color and sunglasses on a cloudy day count for something. I also got chigger bites all over my legs for daring to leave the path in pursuit of a tree picture, so there’s some misery and woe for you.”

At this point, friend, I’ll take what goths I can get as I’m running low on goths in my inbox (hipsters, however, I have heaps of those - then again, who doesn’t?)  I have created an in-depth guide for non-goths who want me to post photos of them up trees on this blog: 1) take off your regular clothes,  2) put on goth clothes, 3) climb a tree.

This goth has admitted she’s in goth-casual clothes but her heartfelt tale of misery and woe really struck a chord with me as I too am afflicted by bites on my leg from an evil beast (well, a mosquito).  She’s a decent height up the tree, she’s looking relaxed despite the chigger infestation, it’s a cloudy day and she’s not smiling.

4 out of 5 - I just looked up chiggers.  Terrifying.

Lisa Mattina submitted this photo with the comment “Chris loves his Viewfinder.”
Who doesn’t love their View-Master? I didn’t have one as a child but I’m pretty sure you put in a slide reel to make them work.  Unless, of course, you want to see nothing but the images your beautiful imagination creates, in which case you don’t need a reel *ahem*.  
This is another cow-hating goth guy who adorns himself in the skin of dead cows (or he could be wearing the skin of the rare and endangered polyester beast, it’s hard to tell from this angle).  He looks to be a good height up the tree and he’s not smiling as he’s clearly concentrating on viewing Things™ through his View-Master.  It’s daylight but it’s overcast.
4 out of 5 - It could be that he is using his View-Master as an x-ray vision device and he’s spying on the local birds (HA).

Lisa Mattina submitted this photo with the comment “Chris loves his Viewfinder.”

Who doesn’t love their View-Master? I didn’t have one as a child but I’m pretty sure you put in a slide reel to make them work.  Unless, of course, you want to see nothing but the images your beautiful imagination creates, in which case you don’t need a reel *ahem*. 

This is another cow-hating goth guy who adorns himself in the skin of dead cows (or he could be wearing the skin of the rare and endangered polyester beast, it’s hard to tell from this angle).  He looks to be a good height up the tree and he’s not smiling as he’s clearly concentrating on viewing Things™ through his View-Master.  It’s daylight but it’s overcast.

4 out of 5 - It could be that he is using his View-Master as an x-ray vision device and he’s spying on the local birds (HA).

Michelle Riot submitted this photo with the comment “This is Daisy Alice in a woodland setting - enjoy!”
Thank you, Michelle, I am enjoying it.  What a cute little goff girl in a tree.  She looks like someone just asked her a stupid question, like “would you like another cup of tea?”  She’s in the shade, she doesn’t look high in the tree at all but she’s not smiling.  I would have liked a bigger version of the photo and to see what shoes she is wearing but I foresee some vodka on my horizon and all motivation to write the usual bollocks has vanished.
4 out of 5 - Don’t ask goths whether they’d like some tea, just give it to them.

Michelle Riot submitted this photo with the comment “This is Daisy Alice in a woodland setting - enjoy!”

Thank you, Michelle, I am enjoying it.  What a cute little goff girl in a tree.  She looks like someone just asked her a stupid question, like “would you like another cup of tea?”  She’s in the shade, she doesn’t look high in the tree at all but she’s not smiling.  I would have liked a bigger version of the photo and to see what shoes she is wearing but I foresee some vodka on my horizon and all motivation to write the usual bollocks has vanished.

4 out of 5 - Don’t ask goths whether they’d like some tea, just give it to them.

machiavellianbach submitted this photo with no comment.
I’m not sure whether this is an interpretation of everyone’s favourite video game villain, GLaDOS, or merely an Aperture scientist from the same game (Portal, fools) but it doesn’t really matter because this is an excellent Halloween costume.  I’m happy to see they’re struggling with the ladder in those big boots but I don’t feel badly because, as those of us who have played Portal will know, GLaDOS delights in seeing others suffer and it’s time to get our own back (even if it is just struggling on a ladder in big boots, which isn’t really anything compared to being bombarded with neurotoxins).
Some might say ‘wait, that’s no goth’. I put it to you that this is a goth in a Halloween costume.  She’s not smiling, she’s a decent height on a ladder made from a tree on her way up a tree.  It’s day time but she’s well covered up.  
4 out of 5 - If I go to one more birthday celebration and someone says “the cake is a lie!” when the cake comes out, I’ll punch myself in the appendix. 

machiavellianbach submitted this photo with no comment.

I’m not sure whether this is an interpretation of everyone’s favourite video game villain, GLaDOS, or merely an Aperture scientist from the same game (Portal, fools) but it doesn’t really matter because this is an excellent Halloween costume.  I’m happy to see they’re struggling with the ladder in those big boots but I don’t feel badly because, as those of us who have played Portal will know, GLaDOS delights in seeing others suffer and it’s time to get our own back (even if it is just struggling on a ladder in big boots, which isn’t really anything compared to being bombarded with neurotoxins).

Some might say ‘wait, that’s no goth’. I put it to you that this is a goth in a Halloween costume.  She’s not smiling, she’s a decent height on a ladder made from a tree on her way up a tree.  It’s day time but she’s well covered up. 

4 out of 5 - If I go to one more birthday celebration and someone says “the cake is a lie!” when the cake comes out, I’ll punch myself in the appendix. 

Arboreal anima submitted this photo with the comment “A recent camping trip.”
This goth has found himself a magnificent throne in a dead tree.  For a second there I thought that perhaps this was some kind of camping toilet situation but this is not the case (disappointing, but it’s probably for the best). 
He’s doing his best impression of The Thinker and I hope he’s having a good hard think about why he decided to wear tan coloured hiking boots when we all know that you can get black hiking boots these days.  He’s not smiling. He’s technically ‘up’ the tree as his weight is being supported by it.  He’s low in the tree and it’s daylight so points deducted there.
4 out of 5 - a dead tree throne would make a majestic outdoor loo.

Arboreal anima submitted this photo with the comment “A recent camping trip.”

This goth has found himself a magnificent throne in a dead tree.  For a second there I thought that perhaps this was some kind of camping toilet situation but this is not the case (disappointing, but it’s probably for the best). 

He’s doing his best impression of The Thinker and I hope he’s having a good hard think about why he decided to wear tan coloured hiking boots when we all know that you can get black hiking boots these days.  He’s not smiling. He’s technically ‘up’ the tree as his weight is being supported by it.  He’s low in the tree and it’s daylight so points deducted there.

4 out of 5 - a dead tree throne would make a majestic outdoor loo.

The Divine Ms. M submitted this photo with the comment “Some quick snaps before heading back to the lair while playing beat the sun lol”
I can’t say this lady looks comfortable here. She’s opted for the one leg up/one leg on the ground approach to in-tree sitting, which is a bit awkward at the best of times, and the branch she’s chosen looks wet (from a sprinkler?) so I imagine it’s quite slippery as well.   I applaud her flexibility and determination.  She’s not smiling, the sun is going down but she’s quite low in the tree.  Bonus points for cute shoes and the old trusty rosary beads as a necklace.
4 out of 5 - Why didn’t she sit on the dry bit of branch?  We will never know.

The Divine Ms. M submitted this photo with the comment “Some quick snaps before heading back to the lair while playing beat the sun lol”

I can’t say this lady looks comfortable here. She’s opted for the one leg up/one leg on the ground approach to in-tree sitting, which is a bit awkward at the best of times, and the branch she’s chosen looks wet (from a sprinkler?) so I imagine it’s quite slippery as well.   I applaud her flexibility and determination.  She’s not smiling, the sun is going down but she’s quite low in the tree.  Bonus points for cute shoes and the old trusty rosary beads as a necklace.

4 out of 5 - Why didn’t she sit on the dry bit of branch?  We will never know.

missmanners62 submitted this image with the comment “this made me think of you, for some reason.”
You thought of me, dear friend, because you knew I would appreciate a fine gothy picture of a skeleton up a tree. I believe this is an image from a 1879 edition of the gorgeous German art magazine Jugend.  Looks like this skeleton has dropped his/her/it’s floral wreath from their perch and a small child is picking it up for him/her/it.  How lovely.  The crow-like birds add extra eeriness. I’m sure there is a fairy tale that goes along with this that I don’t know of, but let’s appreciate it for what it is: a very old school goth up a tree.  Not smiling, high up the tree and quite possibly at night.
4 out of 5 - That reminds me, I hope you’re all taking photos of yourselves in your goth Christmas (aka Halloween) costumes up trees.  I expect to receive an influx of excellent goths up trees in my inbox shortly.

missmanners62 submitted this image with the comment “this made me think of you, for some reason.”

You thought of me, dear friend, because you knew I would appreciate a fine gothy picture of a skeleton up a tree. I believe this is an image from a 1879 edition of the gorgeous German art magazine Jugend.  Looks like this skeleton has dropped his/her/it’s floral wreath from their perch and a small child is picking it up for him/her/it.  How lovely.  The crow-like birds add extra eeriness. I’m sure there is a fairy tale that goes along with this that I don’t know of, but let’s appreciate it for what it is: a very old school goth up a tree.  Not smiling, high up the tree and quite possibly at night.

4 out of 5 - That reminds me, I hope you’re all taking photos of yourselves in your goth Christmas (aka Halloween) costumes up trees.  I expect to receive an influx of excellent goths up trees in my inbox shortly.