Linda Walker submitted this photo with the comment “I always have a score to settle…i grew up with 3 brothers. This was Kenilworth, and i beat all my brothers , sons and husband ;)”
That, my friends, is a demonstration of superhuman goth tree climbing girl-power a la the Spice Girls but with more actual power and less songs that lyrically make zero sense. We can see that she’s smiling with triumph but I would also be triumphant if I’d performed that feat in those shoes and beaten all of my male relatives. She’s high up the tree. It’s daylight but it seems to be a wintry setting so it’s slightly more acceptable.
4.1 out of 5 - Bonus points for gth grrrl pwr
epsilonmodel submitted this photo with the comment “I’ve been meaning to submit to you for ages. I guess this will have to do until I buy some sensible shoes (pfft) and defeat my current tree-climbing record of 2 feet (that’s about how tall the fallen log I’m standing on here was). I’m scared of heights. How un-goth of me.”
I would advise against buying sensible shoes, friend. I would definitely prefer to see awesome and impractical shoes on a goth who is low in the tree to sensible shoes that are higher in the tree, especially if you’re scared of heights. Imagine the terror you (and I) would experience if you were wearing these sensible shoes and you were a decent height up the tree. THE HORROR.
Our goth here is nicely gothed up for the photo. She’s not high in the tree and I can see she has a tight grip on some supporting branches. She looks a bit like she’s getting ready to kick someone in the face. It’s daylight but she’s not smiling. Bonus points for conquering her fear to this level and for the jaunty pose.
4.1 out of 5 - Life is a delicate balance between shoe practicality and tree height.
marquislavey submitted this photo with the comment “Hey there, I’m a young goth guy from Germany! This picture was taken last year. I hope you like it ;) “
Nice work, young goth guy from Germany. You are doing great things with hair and trees in this photo. I can’t really see if you’re up the tree or just gripping a branch but I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt because of your outstanding (upstanding?) hair.
It’s a nice profile shot and he’s definitely not smiling. I have that unnerving urge to pat the shaved part of his head. Don’t pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about. He’s out in daylight but he’s fully covered except for the shaved bits so I hope he has sunscreen-ed his head well. I can’t see how far he is up the tree so I’m going to have to deduct points there.
4.1 out of 5 - for pretty goth boys and their excellent hair.
Charlie Sabotage submitted this photo with the comment “day drinking and hiding from having to mow the dreaded lawn. safe cover up high”
Here’s a fine example of trees playing a vital role in avoiding the mundane drudgery of every day life. If there was a tree near my workplace I would gladly climb it to escape whatever the hell it is that I’m supposed to be doing.
This goth looks a bit troubled by the prospect of mowing the lawn. I’m guessing that she has a petrol powered one like mine that takes 20 minutes of cord-pulling to start and pulls all the muscles in your arms and back in the process. Evil, evil lawn mowers. She’s not smiling and she’s a medium height up the tree. It’s obviously a self-portrait and it’s in the middle of the day but who mows the lawn at night? Graveyard groundskeepers, that’s who (in my ideal world).
4.1 out of 5 - Workplaces should install trees in offices for relaxation and hiding. Ideally, they need to be nothing like this fake tree at my work.
Oliver submitted this photo with the comment:
"Classical and electronic music will collide in perfect unison…progressing towards a new electrified experience. Coming soon…" From I_am_Neil_S Twitter account however pictures in the woods or even anywhere near trees does NOTHING for his image. Thought I would submit again. Thanks for posting the Goth wannabe Punk up a tree! You are loved. If lightning struck the tree he would literally be electrified!
Here we have a goth vaguely up a tree while looking meaningfully off into the distance. To be honest, he looks like he’s playing hide and seek with his mates and somewhere in the world a group of goths are attempting to hide and a forest covered with snow. You can imagine how well that would work now can’t you?
The up-tree height is frankly pathetic but his excellent use of facial/head hair and creative eye makeup distract from this somewhat. He’s not smiling, which is great. It’s daytime but the black and white photo minimises the impact of this.
4.1 out of 5 - Goths playing hide and seek in the snow
Vicky Houghton submitted this photo with the comment “This Was The First Time My Friend And I Had Ever Climbed Trees In Skirts.. It Was A Proud Moment!”
A Very Proud Moment Indeed, Vicky! Tell Me, Why All The Capitals? Do You Just Love Capitals? COOL.
Enough of that. Look at this pretty little stripy thing sitting proudly up a tree in her skirt with the icy wind blowing through her hair. She looks quite high up the tree and I don’t think she’s smiling, she just has one of those mouths that looks a bit smiley when relaxed. It’s daytime but it looks cold and overcast. I would write more but I’ve eaten so much chocolate that my brain has the word “exercise” on repeat and I’ve got massive false eyelashes and Sophia Loren style make-up on and I’m going to look ridiculous at the gym. Awesome.
4.1 out of 5 - Wear Skirts Proudly Up A Tree
Chloe Noir submitted this photo with no comment.
If I had to nominate one thing that I think this blog has been sorely lacking, I would nominate small small shorts. I’m particularly fond of this photo and this outfit, mainly because I am in desperate need of those awesome red combat boots and perhaps a pair nice long legs to wear them on (for me to replace my own, not just to have a pair of long legs to keep in the corner to wear my boots for me and to scare small children, which would also be rad).
She’s looks to be a reasonable height up the tree. I *think* there’s a faint hint of a smile there but her hair is obscuring her face so I can’t be 100% sure. It’s definitely daylight but it looks cold and overcast. Bonus points for boots of awesomeness. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, give me your boots and I’ll bump up your score.
4.1 out of 5 - Actually, a pair of long legs to keep in the corner is what I would like for Easter instead of chocolate. Easter legs!
Nick submitted this photo with the comment “Recently discovered the site, and immediately was enthralled. I popped my goth up a tree cherry with this one on the fly, improvised with a sharpie star on the eye.”
Nick’s explanation here makes it sound like he found this site and then jumped up a tree for a photo. Now, friends, most of you will know that I only started this site in December last year… and this photo was taken in June 2009. See my dilemma? Is he lying? I can’t even see this alleged star on his eye. Is he talking about a different photo completely? Is he a fucking time traveller? WHERE IS HIS DELOREAN? SHOW ME YOUR POLICE BOX! Why include the date and time at all? YOU TRANSCEND SPACE AND TIME AND YOU HAVEN’T HEARD OF EXIF DATA?
Apart from the conflicting date/time data in front of us, this is not a bad photo. This guy is doing his best attempt at looking alluring while hanging from a tree. He’s a half decent height up the tree and he’s not smiling. It’s a gloomy day but it is day light.
4.1 out of 5 - Time travelling up-tree goths should avoid printing date/time data on their photos.