billytalented95 submitted this photo with the comment “me and my friend Josh at a photoshop for our goth/horror/punk band SAVING ROSE ^^ featuring us up trees!”
Here are a serious couple of guys hanging out with their local tree. I’m struggling to keep this one clean due to the phallic nature of the branch the up-tree is sitting astride. I mean, really. I want to make filthy jokes but I know my Mum reads this (HI MUM). Bonus points are definitely due for keeping such earnest expressions in the circumstances. The up-tree is a reasonable height up the tree. He looks more goth and is holding his own (HA!) against the supporting cast member. It’s a sunny day but they’re in the shade.
4.2 out of 5 - Please ask permission before resting on another man’s branch.
Alice submitted this photo with the comment “death from above 2009”
I love to receive photos that pre-date this blog and adhere to the majority of my strict* rules because they vaguely justify my goths up trees cataloguing existence. This goth gets points for tree height, generally surly yet casual look aided by the tree height and position of the photographer, good hair, and an attempt to stay out of the sun. I’m intrigued by the asymmetrical jacket in this monochrome outfit. Bonus points for making me feel better about the way I spend my time.
4.2 out of 5 - The photos of goths up trees from the 80s probably justify my existence more than this one, but every little bit helps a goth’s fragile sense of self worth.
* OK, strictish.
Elza Kephart submitted this photo with no comment but she did tell me that this is a photo of Lilith from her self-financed feature film called Go In the Wilderness which tells the story of Lilith (the first Goth, apparently) after she escapes the Garden of Eden, hooks up with Lucifer and then goes back to Eden.
Some of you may remember Evelyn the terrified baby from earlier in the year but this is the first terrified looking adult goth we’ve had up a tree. We can’t see what Lilith is afraid of but my guess is that she was chased up the tree by some nudists with apples. She’s high up the tree, it’s an overcast day and she’s definitely not smiling. This would be a good time for tree identification. Um, a larch? Probably not. Points deducted for photo quality and inability to see outfit.
4.2 out of 5 - Bonus points for terror
Emma Robson submitted this photo with the comment “I was having a picnic with a few of my friends the other day, saw a nice tree, and decided to climb it to post it in Goths up trees ^_^”
This goth is looking somewhat ethereal/Vaseline-lensed with the light shining through the trees. She’s taken the multi-layered approach to legwear, which I always appreciate. Bonus points for the cute dress, arm warmers and creative eyeliner. There’s no smiling, she’s a decent height up the tree but it’s daylight. I hope she stayed out of the sun with her fair skin because, from experience, I know that sunburn in the shape of one’s stocking-rips makes one look a bit diseased.
4.2 out of 5 - Someone photoshop some wings in
Sarah, Ross, Si & Jordan submitted this photo with the comment “This is Ricky-Lee. When not sitting in tree’s he enjoys worshiping Satan, making people’s ears bleed playing death metal and stroking kittens. For all you single ladies out there he is single and ready to mingle, just make sure you have some mints or chewing gum or it’s a no-go.”
This poor person appears to have lost his shirt and is kindly showing us his armpit hair. Why? I’m not entirely sure. Perhaps he is appealing to the armpit fanciers out there. Is he a goth? He sounds like a metaller to me but the two aren’t mutually exclusive. I like his attempt to camouflage his bottom half with woodland camo because everyone loves a floating torso in the trees.
He’s a medium height in the tree. He has an amusing come-hither look in his eye. It’s daylight, he’s missing his top, and looks quite pale so if he gets burnt it’s his own silly fault. I was scared that he had a mullet there for a second (in which case he would definitely not be a goth) but I believe he’s just holding his hair back during the armpit displaying process.
4.2 out of 5 - “Hello ladies! I’m a floating torso. Check out my armpit hair.”
Zombie submitted this photo with the comment “I was out shooting with a friend and we found this dead tree lying on the ground. I just had to climb it! The sun is setting but is still shining strong, so I guess it’s not that much of a goth picture.”
Shooting with a friend? What was she shooting? Trees? Is this one of those “I have killed this beast so I’m going to stand on it looking triumphant” photos? I know, I know. She meant ‘shooting’ as in a photo-shoot. But shooting dead trees would be far better than shooting animals, IMHO.
This goth is not high off the ground but she’s as high as she can go on this dead tree. The sun is setting but she’s in the shade and she’s not smiling. I like her ensemble and pose of fashionable tree-killing triumph. She says it’s not a very goth picture but, to be honest, I receive so many pictures of non-goths up trees that this is goth enough for me!
4.2 out of 5 - New anti-hunting campaign sticker: ‘Shoot dead trees, not animals!’
Q. submitted this photo with the comment “Goth or no goth?”
Now you’re asking the hard questions. She’s looking quite summery and carefree which aren’t things you’d usually associate with goths. It may be the case that she chucked on a corset, massive eyelashes, and a spiked collar for the photo. However, wearing a corset in warm weather takes a certain degree of toughness as it can be quite unpleasant. She’s definitely looking at us with disdain which is in stark contrast to the summery, carefree, flower grasping, leg displaying pose.
She’s a decent height up the tree and she’s perilously placed over a body of water. She’s in full sun but she’s not smiling.
4.2 out of 5 - I hope she lures people to her and then pushes them into the water.
fuckyeahwolves-weather submitted this photo with the comment “I like the sun. Winkle pickers. and Round glasses.”
Interesting combination of likes there, friend. Personally, I like winklepickers, cat-eye glasses, the moon, light dimmers, and punctuation. I like your round glasses on you but they would look shocking on me. Shocking. See? I’m also a tiny bit concerned about your preference for sun. Are you sure you’re a certified goth? Show me your goth certificate!
So, this sun-basking goth is high up the tree and he’s not smiling. Bonus points for tight pants, winklepickers and round glasses.
4.2 out of 5 - I know that we all need a bit of vitamin D now and then but this is ridiculous.
bethibubble submitted this photo with the comment “A group of friends and I were quite drunk and then I saw this tree and was like “bitches I’m climbing this!” I got quite high up and got stuck on my way down. I know points off because of the sun but I was well protected with my factor 50.”
Drunk and climbing trees in the middle of the day? A goth after my own heart! I’m very glad she mentioned her use of high SPF sunscreen because she’s showing a lot of skin. It’s pale skin, thank god. She’s not smiling and she’s high up the tree, which is fantastic. It’s daytime but she was pissed so it’s possible that she had lost concept of time and sun luminosity. It looks like she’s had quite a bit of creative fun with a pair scissors and her outfit.
4.2 out of 5 - If you’re going to do some drunken climbing make sure you have enough mates around to help you out of your tree.
Kara submitted this photo with the comment “Second generation goths. These are my daughters Devon & Kaylee Dorso. They would love this picture on your website.”
YAY, some primary/junior school baby goths to add to the baby-baby goths collection and complete the full set of age ranges. These girls were definitely not coerced or bribed into posing by their enthusiastic goth parents, as I suspect some of the others were, and that’s refreshing. I love that they’re taking the whole thing very seriously. At the same age, I was still wearing pink and playing with the Barbie palace I’d cunningly fashioned out of a built in wardrobe and choreographing intricate and very serious dances to The Right Stuff by NKOTB. However, my pares were not goths so my chances of doing this kinda thing at that age were limited.
These two baby goths are not smiling and they’re high up the tree. I particularly like the look on the younger one’s face. That goth-girl patented look of bored disdain takes some people years to develop and she’s already got it down pat. It’s daytime but we have to consider their age and bed times.
4.2 out of 5 - Tis a far, far better thing to pose as goths up trees than to choreograph dances to NKOTB.
lokithegodofpudding submitted this photo with no comment.
The look on this goth’s face and the way she’s clinging to that branch makes me think the photographer interrupted an important goth-to-tree conversation. What were they talking about? The strategic placement of the holes in her stockings? The suggestive bark pattern on the tree trunk? We will never know. I think it’s safe to assume that it wasn’t something you’d repeat to your grandmother, mainly because your grandmother would prefer to talk about why you insist on wearing so much black when blue really brings out your eyes.
I can’t see how far she is up the tree so I’m going with low/medium. She’s not smiling, which is great. It’s daylight but it looks to be quite dull. Bonus points for the surprised expression.
4.2 out of 5 - Watch out for sneaky photographers during important goth-to-tree conversations
Casey submitted this photo with the comment “This was our first date- the cemetery.”
I’m clearly not a very excellent goth because the idea of going to a cemetery for a first date is kind of inconvenient; there’s no easily accessible alcohol unless you BYO, there is no way you can sneakily go to the toilet and then never come back (or organise for your friend to magically appear and whisk you away). I suppose you could always “trip” over a gravestone and require emergency medical attention. That could work. Second date at the cemetery = more of a winner as you’re less likely to need to get away fast.
These goths are clearly more excellent than I am and more confident in their dating choices. Good on them. I also applaud them for taking photos up trees in cemeteries on their first date. I hope they get married up a tree in a cemetery at night time and send me the picture. There’s a bit of smiling and it’s daytime, unfortunately. He doesn’t look terribly high up the tree but he’s probably not wanting to risk his chances of serious injury in case he needs to perform later.
4.2 out of 5 - Be an excellent goth and have all your dates in cemeteries up trees.
Raymond John Ross submitted this photo with the comment “Hi, I’m Raymond John Ross, the vocalist for the Goth band ANKST and this is me…. up a tree.”
Nicely done, Raymond John Ross. I like your old-school gothness shining through there. I can’t see whether you’re smoking a clove cigarette but bonus points if you are. I gave up smoking 4 years ago but I only smoked skinny black clove cigarettes because I was so uber that I preferred style to health. I think my gothness has depleted significantly since the very day I gave up, but my lungs, oh my lungs, they’re so happy! They’re a lot less black on the inside though and, therefore, less goth.
Enough about me. Raymond’s not smiling but he’s in the sun. He looks to be a low-medium height up the tree. He gets bonus points for seamlessly integrating sun protection accessories into his look and pulling it off. A rare thing.
4.2 out of 5 - Does smoking cancel out sun protection or are you immune if you’re up a tree?
Bekki submitted this photo with the comment: “Netgoth picnic, 2002/3, Golders Green London (me holding tiny leopard baby to left of photo”.
Only one person up a tree in this shot but we have a lovely supporting cast of netgoths. I just checked the submitted net.goth picnic photo from 1996 and it’s THE SAME TREE. Obviously, this is a tradition. Where are the photos from other years? Are there any? If so, send them on in! I wonder whether we have some of the same goths in both photos? Most of them are smiling, it’s a sunny day, the goth up the tree is at a reasonable height. Bonus points for the up-tree tradition.
4.2 out of 5 - netgoths off the ‘net and up trees
lilithdelayath submitted this photo with the comment “One of my friends. He says he loves larches better, but that particular tree would do. And, of course, 30 lts of sunblock.”
How to recognise different goths up trees from quite a long way away.
No. 2. The curly haired goth not up a larch.
The curly haired goth not up a larch.
This would be a lot funnier if I knew what type of tree that was. HELP. There’s got to be one person in 9000 who knows what kind of tree this is! Someone? ANYONE? You’d improve this post 10 fold. I’ll give you a virtual high five and perhaps a t-shirt if I ever get around to printing them.
4.2 out of 5 - No. 2 - NOT A LARCH.