suilean-dubh submitted this photo with the comment “My bf-at-the-time-but-no-longer were taking a walk in a light drizzle early last spring and I wanted to climb a tree because hey it’s fun and he snapped this.”
Call me nosey, but I wish this goth had given us some details about why she’s no longer with her “bf-at-the-time-but-no-longer”.  If I had to guess, I’d say it was because the ex-bf experienced podophobia (fear of feet) and she was a shoe-less and fancy free goth who became tired of her beloved constantly trying to conceal her feet.  What started off as an endearing foible became a bloody nuisance and she broke it off in a fit of rage after a particularly irritating visit to the local mall.  
This photo was clearly taken in happier times hence the slight smile and the full display of feet. Our goth is appropriately pale and black-clad. She’s a decent height up the tree and it’s either overcast or taken at dusk. 
4.4 out of 5 - I have a phobia of becoming dendrophobic. 

suilean-dubh submitted this photo with the comment “My bf-at-the-time-but-no-longer were taking a walk in a light drizzle early last spring and I wanted to climb a tree because hey it’s fun and he snapped this.”

Call me nosey, but I wish this goth had given us some details about why she’s no longer with her “bf-at-the-time-but-no-longer”.  If I had to guess, I’d say it was because the ex-bf experienced podophobia (fear of feet) and she was a shoe-less and fancy free goth who became tired of her beloved constantly trying to conceal her feet.  What started off as an endearing foible became a bloody nuisance and she broke it off in a fit of rage after a particularly irritating visit to the local mall.  

This photo was clearly taken in happier times hence the slight smile and the full display of feet. Our goth is appropriately pale and black-clad. She’s a decent height up the tree and it’s either overcast or taken at dusk. 

4.4 out of 5 - I have a phobia of becoming dendrophobic. 

so-i-mimed-ducks submitted this photo with the comment “British goth up a French tree…”
That’s bloody multicultural goth up a tree action, that is.  I propose that this is how we solve international conflict: everyone involved gets up a tree belonging to an opposing nation and then they discuss the issues. Probably via video conference.  Up tree video conferences in the dark with all involved dressed in goffick attire and trying not to smile.  I can’t imagine this idea not working.
This goth is a decent height up the tree, they’re not smiling and they’re in the shade, although it is daylight.  Bonus points for the spiky accessories.  I don’t know what’s written on the t shirt but I probably should.  
4.4 out of 5 - do they mean that the tree is located in France or is the tree native to France? 

so-i-mimed-ducks submitted this photo with the comment “British goth up a French tree…”

That’s bloody multicultural goth up a tree action, that is.  I propose that this is how we solve international conflict: everyone involved gets up a tree belonging to an opposing nation and then they discuss the issues. Probably via video conference.  Up tree video conferences in the dark with all involved dressed in goffick attire and trying not to smile.  I can’t imagine this idea not working.

This goth is a decent height up the tree, they’re not smiling and they’re in the shade, although it is daylight.  Bonus points for the spiky accessories.  I don’t know what’s written on the t shirt but I probably should.  

4.4 out of 5 - do they mean that the tree is located in France or is the tree native to France? 

Steffi submitted this photo with the comment “My friend up a tree on a wonderful island called Hiddensee.”
I found this "wonderful island" on wikipedia and I noticed that it didn’t mention the local goths up trees in the Flora and Fauna section. It’s probably better that way because we don’t want the island overrun by tourists wanting to see this obviously shy variety of the species, unless, of course, they start up a sanctuary for them, which would be apt because there are about 50 goth night clubs in the world called “Sanctuary”. 
This goth is very high up the tree and in an uncomfortable looking pose.  I doubt that he/she is smiling.  It’s a sunny day but they’re well covered from the sun’s rays.  I can’t really see what they’re wearing but it’s definitely all black and that’s goth enough for me.
4.4 out of 5 - As my mate* Ian Astbury from The Cult would say if he ever visited this island, “I’m sure in Hiddensee you’ll find the goth sanctuary”. Sorry.
* Not actually my mate

Steffi submitted this photo with the comment “My friend up a tree on a wonderful island called Hiddensee.”

I found this "wonderful island" on wikipedia and I noticed that it didn’t mention the local goths up trees in the Flora and Fauna section. It’s probably better that way because we don’t want the island overrun by tourists wanting to see this obviously shy variety of the species, unless, of course, they start up a sanctuary for them, which would be apt because there are about 50 goth night clubs in the world called “Sanctuary”. 

This goth is very high up the tree and in an uncomfortable looking pose.  I doubt that he/she is smiling.  It’s a sunny day but they’re well covered from the sun’s rays.  I can’t really see what they’re wearing but it’s definitely all black and that’s goth enough for me.

4.4 out of 5 - As my mate* Ian Astbury from The Cult would say if he ever visited this island, “I’m sure in Hiddensee you’ll find the goth sanctuary”. Sorry.

* Not actually my mate

awkwardmanifesto submitted this photo with the comment “Up a tree in a cemetery in Salem, site of the witch trials.”
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches? Peasant: Burn them. Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches? Peasant: More witches!*
Now that’s out of my system, the cemetery in Salem is a nice story ‘n all but where is the proof? I see no gravestones and I see no witches hanging from the trees (too gory? I blame it on the Songs of Fire and Ice books).  She is, however, high up an impressive tree and she’s not smiling. It’s a sunny day but she’s in the shade.  I just can’t bring myself to give her bonus points for the cemetery or Salem business due to lack of evidence.
4.4 out of 5 - She turned me into a newt… but I got better

* I’m appalled by the amount of people who don’t know that this is from Monty Python’s Holy Grail. *sigh*

awkwardmanifesto submitted this photo with the comment “Up a tree in a cemetery in Salem, site of the witch trials.”

Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant: More witches!*

Now that’s out of my system, the cemetery in Salem is a nice story ‘n all but where is the proof? I see no gravestones and I see no witches hanging from the trees (too gory? I blame it on the Songs of Fire and Ice books).  She is, however, high up an impressive tree and she’s not smiling. It’s a sunny day but she’s in the shade.  I just can’t bring myself to give her bonus points for the cemetery or Salem business due to lack of evidence.

4.4 out of 5 - She turned me into a newt… but I got better

* I’m appalled by the amount of people who don’t know that this is from Monty Python’s Holy Grail. *sigh*

danceyrselffitter submitted this photo with the comment “Jack up a tree in Manchester”.
It’s really difficult to keep a straight face when you’re up a tree, apparently.  This makes me a bit upset and you should never feel a bit upset at this time of year unless, of course, you’ve had a few too many gins, and then it’s perfectly acceptable. 
This could have been a truly great picture, you know?  Our goth is well dressed, he’s in the shade, he’s a good height up a tree, and the tree is in a picturesque autumnal setting.  Unfortunately, no one can deny that he has a bit of a smile on his face.  *sigh*
4.4 out of 5 - Stop bloody smiling

danceyrselffitter submitted this photo with the comment “Jack up a tree in Manchester”.

It’s really difficult to keep a straight face when you’re up a tree, apparently.  This makes me a bit upset and you should never feel a bit upset at this time of year unless, of course, you’ve had a few too many gins, and then it’s perfectly acceptable. 

This could have been a truly great picture, you know?  Our goth is well dressed, he’s in the shade, he’s a good height up a tree, and the tree is in a picturesque autumnal setting.  Unfortunately, no one can deny that he has a bit of a smile on his face.  *sigh*

4.4 out of 5 - Stop bloody smiling

muselinasmagic submitted this photo with no comment.
Here we have a medieval-looking goth up a tree.  She seems to be trying hard to keep a straight face and I’m guessing that’s because she has something that strongly resembles a butter knife strapped to her thigh.  It’s quite sensible, really, because you never know when you might need to do some emergency raspberry jam spreading or jemmy open a tin of Milo when you’re out and about.
She seems to be a reasonable height up a dead tree. She’s not smiling but it’s daylight.  Bonus points for the costume and thigh strapped buttering implement.
4.4 out of 5 - Just the other day someone threw a buttered crumpet and a pot of jam at my head and, at that moment, a butter knife strapped to my thigh would have been really useful.

muselinasmagic submitted this photo with no comment.

Here we have a medieval-looking goth up a tree.  She seems to be trying hard to keep a straight face and I’m guessing that’s because she has something that strongly resembles a butter knife strapped to her thigh.  It’s quite sensible, really, because you never know when you might need to do some emergency raspberry jam spreading or jemmy open a tin of Milo when you’re out and about.

She seems to be a reasonable height up a dead tree. She’s not smiling but it’s daylight.  Bonus points for the costume and thigh strapped buttering implement.

4.4 out of 5 - Just the other day someone threw a buttered crumpet and a pot of jam at my head and, at that moment, a butter knife strapped to my thigh would have been really useful.

pure-ambivalence submitted this photo with the comment “Unfortunately, my tree is not large enough to hold two people, so I had to take this myself. Anyway, why would I want them to intrude on my tree-reading time?!”
Clearly the only reason you’d want a person to intrude on your up-tree reading time is for them to take your photo or to bringing you a bottle of vodka and a mattress (to place under the tree for when you need to stumble out from among the branches to fetch nachos).
This goth looks quite serene and has done well with her self-portrait.  She’s a medium height up the tree.  It’s daylight but she’s in the shade.  Bonus points for purple lipstick and convincing book.
4.4 out of 5 - If you see a goth reading up a tree, approach with a camera or vodka… or both

pure-ambivalence submitted this photo with the comment “Unfortunately, my tree is not large enough to hold two people, so I had to take this myself. Anyway, why would I want them to intrude on my tree-reading time?!”

Clearly the only reason you’d want a person to intrude on your up-tree reading time is for them to take your photo or to bringing you a bottle of vodka and a mattress (to place under the tree for when you need to stumble out from among the branches to fetch nachos).

This goth looks quite serene and has done well with her self-portrait.  She’s a medium height up the tree.  It’s daylight but she’s in the shade.  Bonus points for purple lipstick and convincing book.

4.4 out of 5 - If you see a goth reading up a tree, approach with a camera or vodka… or both

knochenblume submitted this photo with the comment:

"I listen to their very sweet sob make my grey silence bloom” (Alejandra Pizarnik, argentinian poet)

I’ll tell you what makes my grey silence bloom and that’s Swiss absinthe or a mallet to the head, although the absinthe usually makes my grey silence bloom and then, after the 6th one, I fall asleep (whereupon my green silence blooms).  
It looks as if this goth is gripping something nail-like, which makes me think that she’s listening to the tree’s very sweet sob after stabbing it in the trunk.  I could be wrong. She could be twiddling a broken branch or something.  Either way, I suspect she’s being cruel to trees to fuel her own grey silence habit.  Tut tut.  She looks high up the tree and she’s not smiling. It’s day time but she’s covered the majority of her skin well. 
4.4 out of 5 - Destroy brain cells, not trees!

Also, here’s a link to an interview I did with The Black Flag, an alternative culture and music web mag.  It’s all true, I assure you.

knochenblume submitted this photo with the comment:

"I listen to their very sweet sob make my grey silence bloom” (Alejandra Pizarnik, argentinian poet)

I’ll tell you what makes my grey silence bloom and that’s Swiss absinthe or a mallet to the head, although the absinthe usually makes my grey silence bloom and then, after the 6th one, I fall asleep (whereupon my green silence blooms). 

It looks as if this goth is gripping something nail-like, which makes me think that she’s listening to the tree’s very sweet sob after stabbing it in the trunk.  I could be wrong. She could be twiddling a broken branch or something.  Either way, I suspect she’s being cruel to trees to fuel her own grey silence habit.  Tut tut.  She looks high up the tree and she’s not smiling. It’s day time but she’s covered the majority of her skin well.

4.4 out of 5 - Destroy brain cells, not trees!

Also, here’s a link to an interview I did with The Black Flag, an alternative culture and music web mag.  It’s all true, I assure you.

PhoenixDiCorvo submitted this photo with the comment “This was actually from a photo shoot on a playground…  there just also happened to be trees…  and since it is our natural habitat, of course she ended up in the tree…”
I’m so glad that goths other than my friends are coming to acknowledge that trees are their natural habitat.  What more could you want from a habitat?  Trees have perfect perches for posing (and alliteration), uncomfortable seating/lying arrangements, shelter from sun unless you’re in a deciduous tree in winter, and they provide excellent locations to subtly frighten passers-by because no one expects to look up and see a goth up a tree (other than you and me but we don’t count).
This goth looks high up in the tree and she’s not smiling.  She’s gripping onto that tree for dear life, which is good. We see all too many goths looking nonchalant about the up-tree experience and I like to see a bit of fear now and then, even if they are in their natural habitat.  The angle is slightly different than we’ve seen before.  Bonus points for looking like she might fall out on us.
4.4 out of 5 - Catch goths who fall from trees

PhoenixDiCorvo submitted this photo with the comment “This was actually from a photo shoot on a playground…  there just also happened to be trees…  and since it is our natural habitat, of course she ended up in the tree…”

I’m so glad that goths other than my friends are coming to acknowledge that trees are their natural habitat.  What more could you want from a habitat?  Trees have perfect perches for posing (and alliteration), uncomfortable seating/lying arrangements, shelter from sun unless you’re in a deciduous tree in winter, and they provide excellent locations to subtly frighten passers-by because no one expects to look up and see a goth up a tree (other than you and me but we don’t count).

This goth looks high up in the tree and she’s not smiling.  She’s gripping onto that tree for dear life, which is good. We see all too many goths looking nonchalant about the up-tree experience and I like to see a bit of fear now and then, even if they are in their natural habitat.  The angle is slightly different than we’ve seen before.  Bonus points for looking like she might fall out on us.

4.4 out of 5 - Catch goths who fall from trees

n3cr0phelia submitted this photo with no comment.
Perhaps she should change her name to dendrophelia instead of necrophelia just to remain in-theme with this blog.  Actually, I think that everyone should change their name to something more arboreal to encourage us to be at one with nature.  My name would change from Verity to Veritree (HA!).  Mark would become Bark, Trent Reznor would become, um…. yeah, this is a shit idea.
This goth has excessively cool hair and appears to be high up in some kind of jungle tree setting with giant bamboo.  It looks like a sunny, warm day but she’s mostly covered up.  There’s a hint of a smile on her face but she may just have a naturally up-turned mouth.  I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt on that one.
4.4 out of 5 - Apparently this goth is from Puerto Rico so she’s probably in a forest instead of a jungle but who cares. GIANT BAMBOO.

n3cr0phelia submitted this photo with no comment.

Perhaps she should change her name to dendrophelia instead of necrophelia just to remain in-theme with this blog.  Actually, I think that everyone should change their name to something more arboreal to encourage us to be at one with nature.  My name would change from Verity to Veritree (HA!).  Mark would become Bark, Trent Reznor would become, um…. yeah, this is a shit idea.

This goth has excessively cool hair and appears to be high up in some kind of jungle tree setting with giant bamboo.  It looks like a sunny, warm day but she’s mostly covered up.  There’s a hint of a smile on her face but she may just have a naturally up-turned mouth.  I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt on that one.

4.4 out of 5 - Apparently this goth is from Puerto Rico so she’s probably in a forest instead of a jungle but who cares. GIANT BAMBOO.

darkershadow submitted this photo with the comment “Photographed by Madeline Forte”
Good things about this photo: excellently colourful hair, no smiling, high up the tree, goth-casual outfit perfect for tree climbing (although, I have to say I’ve never really understood the goth phat pants fashion but I’m all for people expressing their individuality through wide pants).  I see she has some cyber goggles on too.  Good for her.
Less-good things about this photo: she’s out in daylight and her pants appear to have eaten her feet. I understand that this is one of the perils of wearing goth phat pants (or flares for that matter) but I think they probably make your legs look longer as they hide your platform shoes.  I now realise why people wear these pants.  I’m going to buy a pair as soon as I leave work.  No, not flares.
4.4 out of 5 - Now I think about it, I want a pair of goth flares too.

darkershadow submitted this photo with the comment “Photographed by Madeline Forte”

Good things about this photo: excellently colourful hair, no smiling, high up the tree, goth-casual outfit perfect for tree climbing (although, I have to say I’ve never really understood the goth phat pants fashion but I’m all for people expressing their individuality through wide pants).  I see she has some cyber goggles on too.  Good for her.

Less-good things about this photo: she’s out in daylight and her pants appear to have eaten her feet. I understand that this is one of the perils of wearing goth phat pants (or flares for that matter) but I think they probably make your legs look longer as they hide your platform shoes.  I now realise why people wear these pants.  I’m going to buy a pair as soon as I leave work.  No, not flares.

4.4 out of 5 - Now I think about it, I want a pair of goth flares too.

Mary submitted this photo with the comment “Dear Goths Up Trees, Here is a picture of me up in a tree at the local cemetery. I would have taken it at night, but I’m supposed to be home by sunset. I adore your blog and have wanted to submit a picture for a while, but never got the chance to until now.”
What kind of crazy anti-goth rule is ‘home by sunset’?  It’s right up there with ‘you can dye your hair but it must be a semi-permanent natural colour’ or ‘you can put up posters in your room but they must be tasteful and well-spaced’ or ‘piercings are fine as long as you can’t see them’.  BAH!
I can see that this goth has found a good tree with a nice solid fence to aid her climb.  She’s suitably gothed up for a Summery day, she’s a reasonable height up the tree, and she’s not smiling.  She’s looking at ease in her up-tree perch but the photographer has cut off a part of her head, which is disappointing.  Perhaps the photo was cropped to exclude a particularly un-goth hat.  This hat would be more appropriate (excuse the non-goth wearing it).
4.4 out of 5 - Do not let anti-goth rules hinder your up-tree experience.

Mary submitted this photo with the comment “Dear Goths Up Trees, Here is a picture of me up in a tree at the local cemetery. I would have taken it at night, but I’m supposed to be home by sunset. I adore your blog and have wanted to submit a picture for a while, but never got the chance to until now.”

What kind of crazy anti-goth rule is ‘home by sunset’?  It’s right up there with ‘you can dye your hair but it must be a semi-permanent natural colour’ or ‘you can put up posters in your room but they must be tasteful and well-spaced’ or ‘piercings are fine as long as you can’t see them’.  BAH!

I can see that this goth has found a good tree with a nice solid fence to aid her climb.  She’s suitably gothed up for a Summery day, she’s a reasonable height up the tree, and she’s not smiling.  She’s looking at ease in her up-tree perch but the photographer has cut off a part of her head, which is disappointing.  Perhaps the photo was cropped to exclude a particularly un-goth hatThis hat would be more appropriate (excuse the non-goth wearing it).

4.4 out of 5 - Do not let anti-goth rules hinder your up-tree experience.

Panik EVlynn Bedlam submitted this photo with the comment “Rev. Panik EVlynn Bedlam enjoys climbing anything taller than her.”
So, apparently she doesn’t climb anything shorter than her.  Is “climb” a euphemism?  Am I concerned about the kissy duck face on the goth in this photo? Am I about to leave work on a Friday afternoon in order to drink cocktails?  The answer to at least three of these questions is ‘yes’. 
I’m digging the green wig.  The pose reminds me of one of those mannequins you see in theme parks that points the direction to an attraction or facility.   There just needs to be a sign hanging from her arm that says “Nature calling? This way →”. She’s high up the tree and there’s no smiling.  It’s a pity about the daylight and the casual shoes.
4.4 out of 5 - Never ask a goth up a tree for directions

Panik EVlynn Bedlam submitted this photo with the comment “Rev. Panik EVlynn Bedlam enjoys climbing anything taller than her.”

So, apparently she doesn’t climb anything shorter than her.  Is “climb” a euphemism?  Am I concerned about the kissy duck face on the goth in this photo? Am I about to leave work on a Friday afternoon in order to drink cocktails?  The answer to at least three of these questions is ‘yes’. 

I’m digging the green wig.  The pose reminds me of one of those mannequins you see in theme parks that points the direction to an attraction or facility.   There just needs to be a sign hanging from her arm that says “Nature calling? This way ”. She’s high up the tree and there’s no smiling.  It’s a pity about the daylight and the casual shoes.

4.4 out of 5 - Never ask a goth up a tree for directions

outerspacegoth submitted this photo with no comment
This photo of a fresh-faced young goth girl up a tree makes me feel old and slightly mouldy. I’m also vaguely annoyed that I’ve never worn a tshirt as a dress other than a nightie and I’m not sure an XL men’s tshirt containing a beer challenge where you had to drink 25 beers to gain 5 free beers during O-week at Uni really counts (yes, of course I got those 5 free beers, WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM?)
I like this pretty young thing’s Siouxsie tshirt/dress and I think people could employ this technique very effectively with one of my sensual tshirts.  I like her obvious love of hosiery and her earrings that look like Twisties/Cheetos. Nice parasol seeing as it’s a sunny day.  There’s no smiling and she looks quite high up the tree.  She’s using up-tree facial expression no. 19: inquisitive look to the right to make your eyes look bigger.
4.4 out of 5 - Remember to wear tshirts with pants or skirts unless you have one that covers your arse.

outerspacegoth submitted this photo with no comment

This photo of a fresh-faced young goth girl up a tree makes me feel old and slightly mouldy. I’m also vaguely annoyed that I’ve never worn a tshirt as a dress other than a nightie and I’m not sure an XL men’s tshirt containing a beer challenge where you had to drink 25 beers to gain 5 free beers during O-week at Uni really counts (yes, of course I got those 5 free beers, WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM?)

I like this pretty young thing’s Siouxsie tshirt/dress and I think people could employ this technique very effectively with one of my sensual tshirts.  I like her obvious love of hosiery and her earrings that look like Twisties/Cheetos. Nice parasol seeing as it’s a sunny day.  There’s no smiling and she looks quite high up the tree.  She’s using up-tree facial expression no. 19: inquisitive look to the right to make your eyes look bigger.

4.4 out of 5 - Remember to wear tshirts with pants or skirts unless you have one that covers your arse.

Rob Murderface submitted this photo with the comment “metalwood”.
Metalwood? I assume this is something to do with the metal pose in a wood rather than the jazz band of that name.  I like the black and white and the silhouetted trees in the background. The pose is excellent, of course, and the grimace is exemplary.  Pity about the annoying film hole print thing because it’s distracting from the awesomeness of the trees.  The goth looks to be a reasonable height up the tree and there’s no chance of a smile there.  It’s daylight but I’m guessing it’s a cloudy day. 
4.4 out of 5 - Black metal poses are more dramatic when executed up trees

Rob Murderface submitted this photo with the comment “metalwood”.

Metalwood? I assume this is something to do with the metal pose in a wood rather than the jazz band of that name.  I like the black and white and the silhouetted trees in the background. The pose is excellent, of course, and the grimace is exemplary.  Pity about the annoying film hole print thing because it’s distracting from the awesomeness of the trees.  The goth looks to be a reasonable height up the tree and there’s no chance of a smile there.  It’s daylight but I’m guessing it’s a cloudy day. 

4.4 out of 5 - Black metal poses are more dramatic when executed up trees