Becky Kilfoyle submitted this photo and a few others with the comment “A few photos of myself and a from a day out at Basingwerk Abbey in North Wales. Admittedly it’s daytime and I’m looking rather more metal than goth on this particular day but it was a good location. Note how my friend’s tattoo helps to camouflage her against the ivy on the tree!”
Becky, you’re looking goth enough for me and, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the majority of humanity can’t differentiate between goths and a metal people anyway.
I’ve been trying to restrain myself from saying something about how well this goth is werking the trees at Basingwerk Abbey but I failed. WERK it! Gah, I apologise. Our goth here is looking commanding in her up-tree pose, like some sort of up-tree bouncer. I would expect her to say “not in those shoes, mate” to tree climbing hopefuls. She’s high in the tree and she’s not smiling although it is daylight. Bonus points for the pose and the 12th century Abbey location.
4.5 out of 5 - Personally, I wouldn’t admit anyone to climb my tree if they used the word ‘werk’ in my presence. No, that’s not a euphemism.
Alastair Appleby submitted this photo with the comment “Whilst taking our Grandson to a park I saw this tree and thought let`s go for it, your only young twice, even though I was wearing my new Sacrosanct Festival Tee shirt, I might even be the eldest Goth on here.”
I’m pretty sure this guy is the eldest goth on here. He’s definitely the only one that has a grandchild (that I know of, kiddy goths these days can procreate young). I’m attributing the out of focus photo to the fact that the eldergoth photographer forgot their glasses, so we’re lucky that the goth up the tree was in the frame at all.
I can’t wait until I’m an eldergoth so I can wear prescription black sclera contact lenses with my gravity affected droopy tattoos and piercings, platform boots (with no tread) and my all-black outfit to lawn bowls. I’ll be all ‘In your face, lawn bowls authorities’, and then I’ll bite into a fake blood capsule and then spit my false teeth at them.
Back to the goth at hand, he’s high up the tree so bonus ‘oh my aching knees’ points for that. He has a slight smile on his face but we’re going to ignore that. He’s out in daylight but it’s an overcast looking day. Many bonus points for eldergoth-ness and festival attendance. Rock.
4.5 out of 5 - Respect your eldergoths
Sam B. submitted this photo with the comment “One of the many photos of my friend some-what in a tree.”
The excellence of this photo overshadows the fact that Sam’s friend is only partially up the tree. He’s clearly in a cemetery, he’s not smiling and he’s gothed up to the max including some kind of fantastic armoured gloves, the ol’ rip offs of the pennangalan libby plate commando boots (I say that because I have the originals and I’m feeling sassy), a more than adequate amount of black eye makeup and a whole world of hardware on his person. I’m sure he hears the old favourite line by hilarious Dads everywhere: “I bet he has trouble getting through security at airports”. You know what, Dads everywhere? We put our clothes with lots of hardware in our luggage and we take our boots off in advance we don’t hold up the line because we’re POLITE. SO THERE.
It’s daylight but I love the fact that the sun is shining through his hair. I wish I could read what is written on the little sign on the tree. I suspect it’s “Reserved for goths”.
4.5 out of 5 - So much potential here
I’m having a 30% off sale on my T-shirts because I’ve nearly sold out! First in, most goth, I say. Use the code 100percentgoth at http://shop.gothsuptrees.net for the discount.
missmelodysong submitted this photo with the comment “It was a frozen sunday morning in the middle of january. My girlfriend and I went for a casual stroll in the snowy forest behind her house. She is very afraid of the dark, wich is a pity, but also quite amusing sometimes. If she wasn’t we probably could’ve avioded the sunlight. During this wonderful stroll I achieved my goals of finding some new climbable trees, some of them fallen some of them not. Here is one of my favourite shots from a not so fallen tree. Enjoy!”
Here we have an excellent wintry scene of a brave goth posing in a flimsy snow-filled tree. I love me a blonde goth (yes, I’m blonde biased) and this one has a practical yet suitably goth outfit on. She’s a reasonable height up the tree and she’s not smiling. It’s daylight but she’s well covered up. Bonus points for having (what I assume is) a goth girlfriend who is afraid of the dark.
4.5 out of 5 - How many goths who are afraid of the dark does it take to change a light bulb?
nr1002685 submitted this photo with the comment “Up to you if this is goth enough, but here’s a photo of me crawling across a city centre park tree in Riga in a somewhat intoxicated state!”
This is a goth after my own heart; she’s drunk in a park in the city in the middle of the day and crawling along trees. She’s provided one of the only excuses for smiling that I’ll accept: intoxication. She’s a low/medium height up the tree and it’s daylight but I appreciate the crawling-goth action shot. I like the practical summery outfit. I am a bit concerned that she seems to doubt her goth cred. You are goth enough, friend!
4.5 out of 5 - Look at yourself in the mirror every day and repeat: “I AM GOTH ENOUGH” and then scowl for 30 seconds.
Jonathan Hepburn submitted this photo with the comment “We had a ball to go to. So we decided to take photos beforehand, or we wouldn’t get any decent ones. So there was a tree in the park that had just fallen over …”
Oh, Jonathan. This is a glorious thing of gothic/Scotch up-tree beauty! Through the glare we can see he’s looking imposing in his finery. I particularly like the goth version of the jacket and the ghillie brogues. I find all that up-leg lacing very fetching. There are all the obvious questions about what a Scotsman wears under his kilt and, being of Scottish decent, I can tell you that this man IS COMPLETELY NUDE. Actually, I have no idea. It’s a bit weird speculating whether a man in that particular pose is wearing undies or not. So, let’s put that thought out of our minds and concentrate on all that flouncy lace, up-leg lacing and general splendour.
He’s a low/medium height up the tree. He’s definitely not smiling but there’s no doubt that it’s a sunny day. Bonus points for being alive.
4.5 out of 5 - I’m sure he has the blackest undies he could find on.
rowanjaardvark submitted this photo with the caption “Circa 2005 from a Goth Meetup in the botanic gardens.”
At least we have a reason for the smiles of these 6 goths up a tree as clearly they are flouting the rules of the local botanic gardens. This could be the last known photo of a now extinct tree due to the goth infestation of 2005!
My favourite goth is, obviously, the guy who looks like he’s going in to bite the neck, wampire style, of the bespectacled goth. I’m also very fond of the less goth person in the top right who is mostly obscured by a branch. I’m sure the conversation went something like “you can’t be in the photo in jeans like THOSE, Terry, they’re not even Lip Service. What were you thinking?” It looks like Terry is sticking his/her middle finger up in defiance. Good on you, Terry. There’s a lot of smiling and it’s a blurry photo but they’re a decent height in the tree and in the shade.
4.5 out of 5 - Bonus points for the volume of goths and for poor old Terry.
LC submitted this photo with the comment
Behold Lascivia~! (not her birth name). This was taken in late May, along the banks of the St. Laurent river. Despite her awesome purple faery dress, she scrambled up a tree overhanging the path and lounged for a while. It is not yet night, given that late spring twilight lasts a long time, but she isn’t smiling.
I’m finding it difficult to comprehend that ‘Lascivia’ isn’t her birth name. If I accidentally have children I’m going to name them uber goth names like SynthetikFaeryDoll, MistressVamp83, ShadowSkull, Zenith and Quasar.
This goth is doing an excellent job of looking intense and dramatic while in a rather awkward pose up the tree. I like her outfit and her creative eyeliner. The photographer is making excuses about the daylight but I’m just not interested. She’s high up the tree and she’s not smiling. Bonus points for facial intensity despite the impending back injury.
4.5 out of 5 - Pain for beauty!
Lampshade submitted this photo with the comment “We were both up the tree at the time. A twig got caught in her eyelid. (The tree was fine…)”
I’m so glad the tree wasn’t harmed in the making of this image. Sometimes I wonder about the trees that we’re violating by climbing/encouraging other goths to climb in our big boots, spiky accessories and flowing clothing. Who will speak for the trees? </lorax> Who will speak for the twigs caught in the eyelids? Goth hippies (goppies? hippoths?) that’s who!
This action shot is making me very happy (in a surly, frowny way, of course). Both the goth and the photographer were up the tree so I’m guessing they are a decent height up. She’s grimacing in pain, so bonus points there. It’s daylight but looks rather gloomy.
4.5 out of 5 - Finally, an action shot!
toomuchbreakfast submitted this photo with the comment “I came in second place in KEXP’s “Goths in Trees" contest. I couldn’t compete with a kitty shot!”
Don’t feel bad, friend. It has been proven time and time again that no human can compete with a cute animal. This is a blog about goths up trees and the most popular photo I’ve ever posted is of my dog, Fifi. I’ll admit that she’s an uber goth dog apart from the name *cough*she came with it*cough* and only likes people wearing black (true story) so it sort of works. Sort of.
I always love a cape, so I appreciate the way this goth has hers extended, super hero style. She’s nicely gothed up for up-tree goth-super-hero fun times. She’s not smiling and she’s a decent height up the tree. It’s daylight but she’s in the shade.
4.5 out of 5 - Fifi disagrees with me, but I think goth superheroes up trees should rate higher than goth pugs up trees.
James Wright submitted this photo with the comment “I’d like to submit a snap of my mate Tish up a tree! Tish is pictured here up a tree in Dorset on a family caravaning holiday thus proving that she is an epic goth at all times. She is also fairly well known as the former bassist in alt.rock bands such as Honeykill and Stereo Juggernaut.”
Tish is indeed an epic goth for two reasons: 1) she goes on family caravanning holidays, and 2) she’s found time in her busy caravanning schedule to get up a tree for a photo and has managed to look casual despite the fact that she MUST have been hiding from her family. Now, I’m not mocking the family caravanning holiday experience. I went on a great one around Europe where we saw ALL OF THE CASTLES. I attribute the gothness of my siblings and I in part to that trip (not the bit where we were stuck in a campervan for hours on end but the visiting castles bit). However, I was 8 at the time and this young lady is clearly older than 8.
This goth is high up the tree and she’s not smiling. It’s a sunny day but she’s mostly in the shade. She gets bonus points because she doesn’t look like she’s hiding or wants to murder someone.
4.5 out of 5 - Is she holding a stick? I take back that bit about not wanting to murder someone.
Marge submitted this photo with the comment “Here’s one from the Spring bank holiday net.goth picnic in 1997.. it was Thomas’ birthday, he’s the one in the white shirt on the right of the middle standing group, looking to his left. It’s Chris, Kieran and Charles in the tree on this occasion, and I’m sitting at the front, on your left. :)”
Another submission for the net.goth up-tree series! We haven’t had a group photo for a while so this makes me happy. There’s quite a bit of smiling going on, but I imagine that’s because this group of netgoths only ventures out to see each other and this tree once a year and, lets face it, everyone needs to exercise their facial muscles now and then (and smiling looks far less ridiculous than facial yoga).
The up-trees are looking intimidating. I’d like to think other people wanted to get up the tree but these three said ‘no’ in their best bouncer voices and tried to take up as much space as possible by stretching out. It looks like a summery day but they’re mostly in the shade. The supporting cast are interesting, as always. It’s Thomas’ birthday which is why he is excused from looking at the camera. I think that guy second from the left is wearing a cape. Bonus points for cape-wearers. Always.
4.5 out of 5 - I wonder if these net.goth dwellers still meet at this sacred tree? I think we need a log (get it!) of coordinates of good trees to climb.
knochenblume submitted this photo with the comment “The guy in the picture is my love… and I need to say that although if we don’t live in the same city, is the best boyfriend I could have, I feel very lucky to have him in my life. Edu, I love you so much :)”
My first instinct when I read that blurb is to make exaggerated vomit noises at the screen and then roll my eyes. It’s a very childish response but I can’t help it because it’s all so bloody sweet! I know, I know; young love is a beautiful thing but I can not help my instinctual vomit-noise response.
The goth is high up the tree, he’s not smiling and he is well dressed. It’s a sunny day but his skin is mostly covered from the sun’s rays. He looks quite at ease and his head tilt is inquisitive but suggests understanding. I don’t know what he understands but it’s probably something soppy that I need to avoid in case I’m forced to make stupid vomit noises again.
4.5 out of 5 - We all love you, Edu.
digitsink submitted this image with the comment “Gorey girl, up a tree! Spotted this on http://thisisnthappiness.com/”
Isn’t this lovely? This is from the book Three Ladies Beside the Sea by Rhoda Devine, illustrated by our beloved macabre author and illustrator Edward Gorey. When I say ‘our beloved’ I mean beloved by goths because I don’t know one goth girl who hasn’t got a book written or illustrated by him. If you haven’t seen his work then check it out.
I know it’s a drawing and not a photo but I think it’s relevant because it was drawn by Gorey and this maiden is obviously a goth high up a tree. There’s no smiling and she’s wearing a very sun-smart outfit and dangerously long beads.
4.5 out of 5 - Gothery up trees, as endorsed by Gorey.