Emma Robson submitted this photo with the comment “My friends and I went to see Emilie Autumn the other day and took some photos beforehand~ (yes it is in the middle of the day but that’s only because we got to the line really early).  Also this was taken in a cemetery with graves from the 1800’s, if that makes up for it being day-time”

I like this submission because the photographer chose to include a large portion of the tree trunk instead of the including all of the goth in the top left corner and/or any of the alleged gravestones near the tree.  I suspect that the photographer was in an uncooperative mood due an Emilie Autumn inspired tea-rage pre-gig incident.  Understandable, but annoying.

The goths are high up the tree and they’re not smiling.  It’s daytime but they’re in the shade.   Bonus points for the fully visible goth’s cute and practical gig outfit and for climbing in heels. I wish I could see more of the top goth but, thanks to the photographer, that’s not possible. 

4.7 out of 5 - Having photos up trees before going to see a band is a splendid idea.  Having photos with the band up trees is a spectacular idea.

Charlotte Johnson submitted this photo with the comment “Forget the Prime Meridian, go to Greenwich for the trees.”

I’m going to take your advice, Charlotte.  I’m going to Greenwich in September and I’m going to find THIS TREE or ONE LIKE IT, because that is an amazing tree.  That is also an amazing pose; sort of half seated/half standing, regal yet ready for action on the trunk of the tree. I very much like the finger splaying, dramatic cloak spreading and head position.  It’s a gloomy day, the backdrop of skeletal trees is pleasing, and she’s not smiling.  She’s looking suitably dark yet warm. 

4.7 out of 5 - When in Greenwich, spend the longitude of your time with the trees (*sigh* I tried)

P.S. In serious goth news, in Manchester they’re treating violence against people of alternative subcultures (goths, emos, metallers etc.) as hate crimes, aided by the work of the Sophie Lancaster Foundation.  I have experienced occasional negative attention for being a goth such as verbal abuse, discrimination, and drunken fools who think it’s funny to make fun of goths in dodgy food joints at 3am *tiny mournful violins*, but I’ve never experienced violence.  I was upset to learn that our Manchester alt friends do not feel safe in public to express themselves through the way they look and are being specifically targeted for looking alternative.  The change in Manchester Police’s policy sounds like a positive step and I hope it helps reduce abuse because no one should be abused for looking differently (or abused at all, for that matter).  GROUP HUG. </serious>

nemotheviking submitted this photo with no comment.

Our young gothlings here have gone to the trouble of showing us two aspects of their up-tree escapades: one demonstrating one goth cavorting on a branch with a friendly supporting cast member leaning on the same branch, and the other showing the excellent up-tree height a goth has achieved.  Using my (currently wine-impaired) powers of observation, it looks like there are three separate goths in two separate photos.  DILEMMA.  I suppose I’ll have to judge the submission as a whole.

So, of the up-trees, there’s no real smiling but there’s definite amusement in the left goth.  The right goth is high up the tree and the left goth is medium-high.   They’re out in daylight but it’s not sunny and they’re well covered up.  Bonus points for cute outfits, boots and hair.   The supporting cast member looks surlier than the up-trees, which is disappointing. 

4.7 out of 5 - Please ensure your supporting cast member’s surliness levels are not greater than your up-tree’s

lonelygothgirl submitted this photo with no comment.

Because my neck was getting tired and my colleagues started mistaking me for a stroke victim, I rotated this photo for your viewing pleasure here. 

I very much like this photo despite the neck-pain inducing angle it was taken on.  The backdrop is very picturesque and suitably cold looking.  The stream looks murky and potentially full of decaying animal carcases.   Our goth isn’t smiling and she’s high up the tree and in the shade.  She’s making excellent use of black lipstick and she’s wearing fetching goth-casual (gothsual) tree-climbing attire.

4.7 out of 5 - I would have given her more points if she hadn’t been so intent on causing me physical pain.

etherealrose submitted this photo with the comment “This was taken at a Moonlight Soirée that I hosted recently. I was dubbed a tree troll, complete with branch moustache.”

Branch moustaches are the new, gother version of the tired old hipster finger moustache!  However, the day a goth tattoos a branch moustache onto their finger is the day I start wearing baby pink tracksuits with “Roxy” written across the arse with an ill-fitting singlet, get a fake tan, and change my name to Chantelle.

This goth is looking very relaxed at her soirée.  It’s night time and she appears to be a lowish height up the tree.  I love her silvery hair and massive necklace.  I hope I have this wrong, but it looks like she has a goth tracksuit on.  Is she one of those fabled SportsGoths™?  Is she relaxing up a tree after a swift jog around the moonlit forest?  I don’t know.  She’s not smiling.  Bonus points for using the tree as an accessory.

4.7 out of 5 - No one is allowed to get a branch moustache tattooed on their finger. 

haploschaffer submitted this photo with the comment “I did this pic specially for this tumblr :D.”

It’s heart-warming to know that there are goth boys in the world doing things especially for me.  Unfortunately, my cold dead heart isn’t used to sudden changes in temperature and I have been forced to try and bring it back to normal by sitting in the toilet at work and reciting poetry about how I am actually alone in this vast frigid abyss even if people are taking photos of themselves up trees for me.

Our fine goth boy is high up a tree in a pleasantly decay-filled autumnal setting.  He’s not smiling (just) and he’s mostly covered from the sun’s evil rays. Bonus points for outfit excellence.

4.7 out of 5 - Warming the heart of a goth isn’t advisable unless you want them to move away from you in a rapid fashion.

laveller submitted this photo with the comment “Tree creepers”.

It looks to me like these goths have set a trap, Wednesday Addams style, and are waiting up a tree for their unsuspecting victims to fall prey.  They’ve definitely got Wednesday’s deadpan look down pat.  I’m sure old Wednesday would be disappointed, as I am, with the fact that they’re out in daylight.  At least one is up a tree at a decent height.

4.7 out of 5 - IT’S A TRAP!

Katty submitted this photo with the comment “I’m still not entirely sure how I climbed this tree in heeled boots when there weren’t really any footholds, but I’m glad I did because it made an excellent seat (with plenty of shade) from which to admire the graveyard I was in. My lovely friend took the photo, as she didn’t want to attempt to climb up to join me.”

This goth’s outfit is a good example of how your strategically placed kitchen-scissor hosiery holes can be made to look more authentic with the wear and tear caused by an up-tree experience.  Yes, I’m making an assumption here but I believe it’s true.  Either that or she’s much better at organising authentic-looking holes in her hosiery than I am (which is entirely possible as mine look so contrived that they scream ‘At one point in my life I had a tan and loved NKOTB and I don’t regret it’*).  

She’s done very well to climb that high in those boots and to find a tree that close to a grave (so difficult, I find).  I like the casual cross-legged perch and her lacy, holey, corsety outfit.  Bonus points for pink hair and the fact that she left her glasses on to ensure she gets a better view.  It’s daytime but she’s in the shade and she’s not smiling. 

4.7 out of 5 - Perching like a pro.

* I was 10. Shut up.

vnsplshr submitted this photo with the comment “Angie floats up a tree, at the goth picnic.”

What is this wizardry we see before us? How is this possible in those shoes?  My brain says ‘no’ but my eyes say ‘yes’, which is usually a good indicator of intervention by photoshop or the ingestion of a lot of vodka. Clearly something is happening up the tree because the supporting cast looks as perplexed as I am.  Also, yellow balloons at a goth picnic?  WHAT IS THIS? I don’t even know.  She must have excessively strong toes or shoes or is about to fall out (or it’s manipulated).

The goth is high up the tree and she’s not smiling. It’s daylight but it looks like an overcast day, which is perfect for displaying your pale skin.  Bonus points for up-tree floating wizardry (if it isn’t ‘shopped, if it is then nil points!) and the ‘WTF?’ looks on the supporting cast’s faces.

4.7 out of 5 - I want this to be real.

To the polls! Do you think this photo is real (not manipulated)?

Update - Our friend vnsplshr swears it’s real and has provided the original snap for your evaluation.

Gina submitted this photo with the comment “Historic Columbian Cemetery in Portland”.

Here we have a traditional photo of a goth with tablecloth over her head, up a tree in a historic cemetery. I know, I know; it’s probably a lovely lace shawl and not a tablecloth at all.   In addition to the shroud/mosquito net idea last week, I think the tablecloth/lace shawl is a fantastically practical and stylish way to keep the sun off while staying cool in summer.  It may even be better than a parasol because you wouldn’t have smart-arses/bogans yelling “you know it’s not raining” at you despite the fact that you clearly have a parasol and not a bloody umbrella. *sigh*

She’s found herself a nice high and comfy bough to perch on in what looks like a very picturesque cemetery.  It’s a sunny day but she’s in the shade/covered up.  She’s not smiling, rather peeking out from under her shawl/tablecloth.  Bonus points for excellent use of lace and her velvet skirt.

4.7 out of 5 - I’m off to the fabric store again but this time for black lace.

intotheinferno submitted this photo with the comment “Hello again! Last time I submitted the photo i realised i never actually put the link in, oopsie. Anyway! a while ago my friend submitted a photo of me as Little Red Riding Hood, well its me again! On a day out with a friend, it was to hot and sunny out so we took shelter in a park, i climbed a tree and thus! Here you go again!”

Ah, yes, a common problem; I’d say about half the submissions I receive are “hey, this is me up a tree” with no photo (or they’ve submitted a photo of themselves wearing cloaks of invisibility up one of those fabled see-through trees on a transparent background).  So, if you have submitted a photo and it hasn’t been posted, it is entirely possible that it hasn’t been received, so please resubmit! 

Enough about invisibility, here we have a lovely purple haired goth high up a tree, sitting astride a branch protruding from one of the best climbing trees I’ve ever seen. That thing has built in foot holes big enough for platform New Rocks!  I need one of those trees.  It goes without saying that I love her New Rocks.   I thought she was wearing inverted cross leggings but I’m glad to see that they are pants! Hooray for pants!  She’s not smiling but it’s daytime, sadly.

4.7 out of 5 - For the love of pants.

Drakken Saer submitted this photo with the comment “Hello, I’m Drakken! :D My friend decided to take a picture of me while I was tree-climbing, its one of my favorite pass times. This tree wasn’t particularly impressive as the other Redwood trees (which were impossible to climb), but I like how this came out!  I haz facebook in case anyone was wondering.”

Nice one, Drakken.  I’m glad tree-climbing is one of your favourite past times and you’ve provided a lovely photo of yourself looking blissful in your natural habitat.  I’m not sure the readers are going to look at your photo and think “hmm, I wonder whether that goth has a facebook?”, mainly because the majority of people have one and it’s kind of taken for granted, no?  Gothsuptrees has one.  My dog has one.  The TVP curry I have for lunch has one.  But I looked you up like the dutiful person I am and I noticed that you’ve written “I ONLY ADD PEOPLE I KNOW.”  Now, what’s the point of advertising that you have a facebook if you’re not going to add stalkers?  I don’t know.  Kids today.

The goth is not smiling and is quite high in the tree by the looks of it.  It’s daytime, of course, but I really like the look on the their face.  It says to me “I just took the best facebook profile picture ever. I’m going to upload it right now”.

4.7 out of 5 - License to stalk goths up trees on facebook

Ian submitted this photo with the comment “Due to the silhouette, it is impossible to judge if my clothes are goth enough for this photo to count as a goth up a tree. All I can give you is my word that I was entirely clad in black. Hopefully, the hair/coat length will count for something.”

Ian, old mate, your silhouette indicates a high level of gothness so no further proof is required. 

In this photo, Ian appears to be a Goth invoking his inner monkey by moonlight.  What better type of light to invoke your inner monkey than moonlight, I say.  It definitely makes for a striking photo.  He must have been hanging pretty still to get this shot (apart from his head which shows a bit of movement but Goth monkeys don’t stay still for long).  I can only guess that he’s not smiling - I’m picturing a kind of surprised face like this.  He looks like he’s dangling from a reasonable height up the tree and no one can argue that it’s not night-time. 

4.7 out of 5 - Invoke your inner Goth monkey by moonlight