Thom Capetanelis submitted this photo with the comment “Love the page, hope our picture makes the grade. Bonus: this was taken in a cemetery”.

Nicely done, boys.  Let’s use the scorecard method of analysis (using a ‘†’ symbol as a check-mark because it’s more goff and I can’t find a tick symbol):

1. Looking surly - †
2. High up a tree - †
3. Gothed up - †
4. Minimal daylight  - FAIL *tsk tsk*
5. Bonus points - † (wintry skeletal trees, double goth action, cemetery [reported but no evidence shown], boots, excellent hair on one, crotch displaying on one, page love)

4.8 out of 5 -  ††††  = a fence

sniluminous submitted this photo with the comment “try to excuse my face I was not in a position where my neck seperates from it. I am short and had to get my male companion to help me into the tree, unfortunately he left me like this rather than getting me any further up.”

I think we can all agree that, despite the goth being low in the tree, this is an excellent photo.  She is hanging from the tree and, using my patented method for classifying goths hanging from trees, the position rates highly as you could easily photoshop two small goth giraffes in the place of the branches she’s hanging from. [Edit, my good friend Digi just photoshopped her in between the Two Headed Monster from Sesame Street!]  Bonus points for awesome hair, stripiness and boots. She’s out in the daylight but it’s clearly very cold.  There’s a hint of amusement there but she’s not smiling.

4.8 out of 5 - This is probably the best low-tree-height/best potential-for-giraffe-photoshopping photo I’ve been sent

Catt** submitted this photo with the comment “Just one more photo taken on the same day (also at Whitby Goth Weekend, also in Pannet Park), this one is just me up a tree!” (Catt also submitted this photo that I posted a few weeks ago)

This goth is truly excelling in the height component of this photo.  She’s found herself a good high tree in front of a building with attractive windows and a good spot to store her gear so she can pounce on any potential thieving goths roaming the wilds of Whitby.  I know thieving goths exist because someone once stole my Lip Service Gangsta Pranksta jacket from a nightclub in 2002 (or 3?). I had to buy another one and the fit was different! *woe*

She’s not smiling and she’s nicely dressed for a day at Whitby.  It’s daylight but it’s an overcast day.   Super bonus points because I can’t see how she got up there without a crane.

4.8 out of 5 - If you see a goth wearing a pin-stripe Gangsta Pranksta jacket made in the old style thicker fabric with “Verity” written on the tag (yeah, thanks Mum), say “Hi” from me.

missmelodysong submitted this photo with the comment

“So today my family went looking for A Christmas tree. I tagged along to go looking for a tree to climb and maybe even fall out of. I didn’t fall, but I found a bunch of very climbable trees. I ended up climbing only one of them, but hopefully the rest of them will stick around until it’s their turn. It was really cold too, not that I am complaining, just mentioning the fact that it was really freacking super freezing cold and sunshine. So there’s a story for you, and a Goth up a Tree. Ended up finding our Christmas Tree too.”

We can see how “freaking super freezing cold” it was for this goth, and I applaud her stellar effort at tree-climbing in the face of adversity.  I also applaud her motivation and resourcefulness for using her family’s frozen tree hunting adventures to discover climbable trees and pose for an excellent photo.  She’s high up the tree, she’s not smiling, and her creative eyeliner is evidence of her commitment to gothness in spite of the cold.   It’s daylight but bonus points for being able to see her breath condensation.

4.8 out of 5 - Bonus points for commitment.

Sharyn submitted this photo with the comment “A recent gorgeous client of mine….”

Dear Sharyn, can you please contact your client and ask her to donate her beautiful coat to the ‘Verity needs a beautiful warm coat’ fund?  It will benefit lots of people in need, well, me (and maybe the people who look at me while I’m wearing it).

A gorgeous coat on a gorgeous goth and she knows it.  She’s taunting us with her coat.  Her eyes say, “Try to take it from me, my pretty, and I will stomp you into oblivion”. She looks to be a good height in the tree.  It’s daylight but she’s mostly covered.

4.8 out of 5 - Covet thy neighbour’s coat at your own peril.

Photographer - Sharyn Arrgh of Wellington New Zealand

anthempart182 submitted this photo with no comment.

Here we have a goth violinist up a tree.  I’ve already published one goth musician up a tree (this young flautist) and I’m hoping the pattern will continue with subsequent submissions having instruments increasing in size until we have a goth up a tree with a pipe organ. I can dream.

This photo looks like an action shot.  It’s better if we imagine she’s skilfully playing some kind of uber goth dirge and not wrenching out a screechy version of Mary Had A Little Lamb. She’s not smiling, she’s high up the tree and it’s a pretty ace photo.  It’s gloomy yet perfect up-tree violin playing weather.

4.8 out of 5 - Bonus points will always be awarded to musicians up a tree.

a-beautiful-freak submitted this photo with the comment “Myself a few years back, just before I fell out :P”

No one ever sends me a photo of themselves falling out of a tree!  Is that because the photographer is too busy being a hero and attempting to help?  If I were the photographer I’d be taking that opportunity for a mid-fall action shot where our lovely goth plummets towards the ground, still clutching her black rose. This is probably why no one asks me to take photos of them.

Our goth here has an interesting combination of rock/metal style influences.  I like her boots, of course, and the way she’s holding the black artificial rose to her nose as if she appreciates the smell of polyester.  Nice use of creative eyeliner.  She’s high up the tree and she’s not smiling.  She’s out in daylight and her skin is very pale but she’s in the shade.

4.8 out of 5 - An action shot would be appreciated.

goth-corgi submitted this photo with the comment “my boyfriend was insistent upon the fact that i should send you those photos xD your page is so cute.”

Daw, her outfit is cute! I think this is the first photo I’ve received where a ladder has been visible, which is refreshing. It’s obvious that this is a very practical goth as she’s used the ladder for tree climbing and then as a footstool and she’s attempting to be sun safe by wearing a hat.  One arm looks relaxed while the other looks uncomfortable and she’s not smiling so I’m finding it difficult to interpret her attitude.  She’s high up the tree, aided by her trusty ladder. It looks like a sunny day but the sepia effect on the photo may make this look warmer than it is.

4.8 out of 5 - She’s a froody goth - she really knows where her ladder is (sorry, I’m having a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy day).

insanitywetrust submitted this photo with the comment “Cemetery Tree”

Look closely, fellow goths up trees appreciators, for you will see that this person is indeed in a cemetery. Is this a goth or is this a guy dressed in black?  ‘What is the difference?’, I hear you ask, and I say to you: shoes.  I know no goths who would wear sneakers such as those pictured.  He may just be a goth who has made questionable footwear choices, though.  I know I’m questioning my own footwear choice today.  

If this guy isn’t a goth then he has made a significant effort with his eyeliner, nail polish, and thumb-holes in his top. He’s not smiling, it’s night time and he’s a decent height up the tree.  Good effort.  Points deducted for questionable shoe choices.

4.8 out of 5 - Questionable shoe choices will always come back to bite you.

kittenbomb submitted this photo with the comment “We thought we were being original. It was in a victorian era cemetery and everything.”

If it’s any consolation to the submitter, that’s an original up-tree pose she’s striking. I like this pose because I’m not sure if it was intended to be an ‘at one with the tree’ kind of pose, or an ‘I’ve been flung at the tree by some invisible force and I’m now I’m impaled here’ kind of pose. I think it works either way. 

I guess she removed her shoes for ease of tree-scaling, which is unfortunate.  She’s quite high up the tree and she’s not smiling.  It’s daylight but she gets bonus points for the cemetery, the interesting pose, and the gnarled old tree.

4.8 out of 5 - At one with the tree or impaled on the tree?

Astrid submitted this photo with the comment “Ode to Sadness in the Lonely Branches”

I can just imagine walking through a forest, hearing a flautist and looking up to see that lovely image.   I hope to god she can play well because I don’t think I could deal with it if she sounded like this (yes, yes that’s a recorder and not a flute, but apparently people don’t put up videos of terrible flautists on spewtube).

The only thing I can’t like about this photo is the day light because she’s high up the tree and she’s not smiling (it’s probably a bit difficult to smile and play the flute, anyway).  She’s well gothed up, complete with winklepickers. I guess that’s a wig but it’s a good wig.  Let’s imagine she’s playing something excellent and uber goth and not the titanic theme.

4.8 out of 5 - This one time, when I was up a tree… (I’m sorry, I tried to restrain myself but I failed)

(sorry if you saw this twice, tumblr is having issues saving posts, apparently).

I was just walking through the park, minding my own business when I stumbled across four other goths sitting up a tree wearing the same Goths Up Trees t-shirt as me.  After we got over the initial embarrassment and had a minor argument about who wore it the best (featuring dramatic sighing and death stares), I took the opportunity to get up the tree with them and have this photo taken.  Luckily, none of us are smiling in the photo, we’re all at various heights up the tree, there are a lot of excellent boots visible and there’s even some absinthe! Yes, it’s day time but I assure you it was bloody icy cold and those of us without jackets were struggling to look composed.   I’m not going to score myself because I’d naturally give myself 5 out of 5 and I’m told that scoring yourself can cause blindness.

You too can own a Goths up Trees t-shirt and have altercations (or harmonious absinthe sharing) with goths in parks and then pose for photos.  Get one (or 5) from my shop Goths Up Tees, get it? get it? HA!  There’s a limited number of them and they’re good quality so get ‘em while you can!

4.8 out of 5 - I suppose I should score myself reasonably and take the potentially blinding consequences.

tonystockert submitted this photo with no comment.

Here’s a bloody happy bunch of goths.  Some have gone to the effort to keep a straight face, but others simply can not control themselves and are smiling with reckless abandon.  I think there’s only one goth actually up the tree the others are just hangers-on (hahaha, get it? get it?)  I’m glad it’s night time.  The sole up-tree seems relatively low in the tree.  It’s clear they made a party of their up-tree experience and for that I give bonus points.

4.8 out of 5 - Control your mouths, damnit

locography submitted this photo with the comment “Gothic Portraiture”.

A lovely goth up a tree in an old cemetery in Sydney (Australia, fiends).  She looks as if she’s having a little day-dream there (contemplating whether or not to see the latest Tim Burton/Johnny Depp/Helena Bohnam-Carter shenanigans, perhaps?)  I can’t imagine she’s all that comfortable with her legs kinda hanging down like that but she’s not showing it in her face and we have a nice view of shoes and that’s what counts. 

She is quite high up the tree and she’s not smiling. It is day time but she’s in the shade.  Bonus points for the old cemetery and the general prettiness of the photo.

4.8 out of 5 - Many a goth has contemplated this very same problem. 

Elois Nightingale submitted this photo “Hello! This is my blog-friend Agatha from Russia. She is Goth and she loves trees:) PS: sorry for bad English, its not my native language.”

No need to apologise, poppet.  Your English is better than many native speakers and the photos you’ve submitted of your friend are awesome. We have one where she looks casual and relaxed and another where she looks as if she’s a bit pissed off because she wanted to go for a swim but she didn’t bring her bathers.

She’s not smiling in either of these photos. She looks to be a medium height up the trees. It’s daylight, unfortunately, but bonus points for style and an obvious commitment to trees.

4.8 out 5 - Never forget to pack your bathers