mostfacinorous submitted this photo with the comment “Everyone we know has been very carefully avoiding being found in the compromising position of being both goth and in a tree ever since we learned of the existence of gothsuptrees. But one of us was bound to slip up eventually. Fair is fair, though, and so up it goes.”
This goth has found himself a comfortable spot to tweet about how alone he is as the only individual at a party full of god-damned hipsters #treegoth #someoneturnoffthecrystalcastles #waitingfordeath #lostmyglove #nofilter
There are many elements of this photo that I like; it’s night time, our goth is not smiling, he’s in a fairy-light laden tree, he’s partaking in an alcoholic beverage, and he couldn’t be bothered to put down his bloody phone. I’m concerned about our goth’s height in the tree, so I’m going to deduct points for that (unless I receive proof that he is properly in the tree).
4.8 out of 5 - Another goth succumbing to the inevitable and tweeting about it
katmisfortune submitted this photo and one other with the comment
"This is me, up a tree in City Park. Please excuse the wretched sunlight, as it’s harder to get as far up in the darkness, we had to take the picture nearing sundown. I managed to stay in complete shade, thank goodness. (The [extra] picture is for reference as to how far up I had gotten into the tree…. Why they’re smiling, I haven’t a clue… Maybe it’s the adorable baby’s infectious smile)"
I appreciate it when goths go to the trouble to send me a context photo to ensure I don’t mark them low for tree height. They don’t just expect that I will trust them when they tell me things, which is good because I ain’t no fool; I just scored 100% on the Introduction to Work Health & Safety course that I was forced to complete at work. It had really difficult questions like “Why shouldn’t you drink alcohol at work?” and “Is it inappropriate to hang pictures of naked people in your cubicle?” That’s right, kids, contrary to what you might think with all the tree climbing shenanigans and clothing that impedes movement, goths can be workplace safety geniuses too.
It’s possible that this goth is also a work health and safety genius; she is mostly out of the sun and looks safe and secure high up her impressive tree. She’s not smiling and has an excellent haircut and casual goth outfit.
4.8 out of 5 - Don’t worry, I’m not going to start forcing goths to wear crash helmets up trees unless you can find me a stylish black one that doesn’t mess up my hair or makeup and looks fetching with a corset.
siriku submitted this photo with the comment “Taken by a friend in a forest near Southampton. Hope you like!”
I like, friend, I like. It’s making me wish I still smoked so I could get in on the up-tree smoking action. Sitting up a tree with an e-cig doesn’t really look as tough or mysterious, sadly.
Our goth here should be in an ad for New Rocks because his are displayed here to their full potential (his boots, for the disgraceful non-goth readers who don’t know their Demonias from their New Rocks). He’s looking pretty darn nonchalant with is coat draping down the tree and his relaxed pose. It’s daylight but he’s in the shade. He’s not smiling and he’s high up the tree. Top job.
4.8 out of 5 - This photo inspires me to smoke and to grow a beard. Sadly, my gender prevents the beard growing bit. Curse you, gender!
sempiternaltearsontape submitted this photo with the comment “This was one of several trees my friend Laura and I climbed on Friday 13th. This particular photo was taken by our wonderful friend Bryce in a 19th Century cemetery in Sydney not too far from where I live.”
Happy gothmas everyone! To celebrate gothmas (or Halloween as you non-goths call it) we have some of my countrymen (or country-people) up a tree in a cemetery in front of a McDonalds establishment. It’s so good of Maccas to set up shop next to a cemetery to cater for the small portion of the goth population who love a bit of fast food after a long hard up-tree cemetery session.
Our goths here are doing all the right things: they’re high up the tree, they’re not smiling and they’re gothed up appropriately. They’re out in daylight but they’re in the shade. I’m not sure whether their up-tree positions suggest relaxed goth-friendship or if one is supporting the other after she ingested some fast “food”. Either way I like it.
4.8 out of 5 - I hope there’s a pub near that cemetery as well.
woolfie submitted this photo with the comment “Tamsin from AAAK [As Able As Kane] up a tree after playing INfest Festival 2013. #GothsUpTrees”
Wow, this highly patterned goth totally exceeded the non-smiling requirement here to the point that she looks like someone took her alcohol away from her. No alcohol? SAD FACE. She should be happy faced if she just played at Infest. She’s a decent height up a picturesque weeping willow. She has no trace of a smile on her face. It’s daylight but she’s in the shade.
4.8 out of 5 - I suspect the sad face is because one of the other bands on the Infest lineup drank her rider.
Sara submitted this photo with the comment “I showed my partners your website and they lolied me up and made me climb a tree! :-)”
Our goth here has made it sound like she was forced to loli-up and climb this tree as some sort of revenge by her partners for showing them this site. Come to think of it, her hands could be tied behind her back in this photo too. This raises the question, how on earth could you climb a tree with massive platform goth-loli mary-janes and your hands tied behind your back? You can’t. She must have teleported up. Awesome.
She’s nicely lolied up for the forced tree-sitting occasion, so well done to her partners. She’s high up the tree and she’s not smiling but she does have an amused look in her eye. It’s daylight but she’s in the shade. Bonus points for teleportation.
4.8 out of 5 - Sit up trees of your own free will.
EvilToasterMuffin submitted this photo and two others with the comment:
I have been wanting to send a picture in for a very long time. I apologize for the daylight- I figured evening light is better than stabby, stab, stab by a mugger since its not safe at night here. And the the smile is a smile for evil and darkness! :p I made the dress myself. I am rocking boots and strippy socks too! Thank you!
“A smile for evil and darkness”? That’s a new one, so points for giving that a try. I’m glad that our goth didn’t put herself in danger of “stabby, stab, stab by a mugger” for the sake of a photo. However, it would have made an amazing action shot. NEW BLOG IDEA: Goths stabbing muggers with parasols up trees… it’d never work.
Our goth made her impressive dress and gets bonus points for sewing ability. We can see her stripy socks and excellent pointy boots in her third photo which she kindly provided for proof. She’s high up the tree and she has a parasol to shield her from the sun’s rays and potential muggers. She’s smiling but that’s the smile of someone who isn’t being mugged. I have that smile right now.
4.8 out of 5 - Smile if you’re not being mugged!
Rachel Gilley submitted this photo with the comment “Here’s one for ya, Madame Archel up a tree, about 10 years ago in a cemetery OF ALL THINGS. I know. Imagine.”
A photo of the lovely and ageless (damn her) Madame Archel dressed as a fairy up a tree! I had a quiet fangirl moment when I received this because I used to “follow” Madame Archel during my baby-goth days where I spent the majority of my internet time looking at hot goff chix on LiveJournal groups and trying to copy their make-up *sigh*. Now I reflect on it, I still do that, just not on LiveJournal.
Anyway, this photo is 10 years old and, yet again, proves the enduring appeal of being a goth and posing up a tree. Our goth isn’t smiling and she’s high up the tree. It’s daylight and she’s unfortunately slightly in the sun. Bonus points for the PVC, the hair falls, the fairy wings, and the age of the photo.
4.8 out of 5 - I forgot to mention the cemetery but we can’t see it so it’s like it doesn’t exist.
androgynous-space-demon submitted this photo with the comment “Me, in a tree, At a tea room garden, near my home in Bristol”
A goth up a tree at a tea room garden? How perfectly civilised. It is a well known fact that the gothic subculture consume more tea per capita than any other subculture, so being a goth up a tree in a tea room garden would be a comforting experience, which would explain the somewhat serene look on our goth’s face. Unfortunately, I don’t like tea which has always made me feel like less of a goth (as if that’s even possible with my blonde hair an’ all).
Our goth here is obviously one of the tea-drinking majority. She isn’t smiling, she’s a decent height up the tree and she’s skilfully gothed up. It even looks like the sun is going down on the scene, which is most pleasing. Nicely done.
4.8 out of 5 - Why is a raven like a writing desk? Because goths.
Sam Foreman submitted this photo with the comment “My friend and I found this fantastic and rather climbable willow tree in a local park and we thought it would be a great opportunity for a goths up trees photo. :)”
I think you’ll all agree that this is excellent work from this pair of goth ladies. I especially like the goth-composition in this photo as we have goths at different heights but with their outfits mostly visible. They’re at medium and high levels up the tree, which is great. They’re not smiling and they’re in lovely summer-time goth outfits. Bonus points for the attractive tree, the top goth’s heels and the lower goth’s fan. Is that some kind of bicycle in the bottom left corner? Did these goths arrive to their tree by tandem cycle? I hope so.
4.8 out of 5 - I am grateful that they identified the Willow tree for me because clearly I know more about goths than I do trees. Perhaps I should do a tree identification course.
fangbrain submitted this photo with the comment “My Friend and I had been looking for some good trees to submit. We tried the local graveyard, but the tree we wanted to climb wasn’t very sturdy, and a huge tree we found in the middle of an old forest, well it was a pain in the ass to get to. So we got photos in the middle of a park.”
It warms the putrid old molluscs of my heart to know that this goth and his friend took the time to find the best tree in multiple locations, instead of just submitting any old crap tree and hoping for the best. I think you’ll all agree with me that this dedication to the cause has resulted in a very fine photo of a goth up a tree. He’s looking quite suave and nonchalant, like he was born to pose up trees. The tree is very sturdy looking and, as a result, our goth was able to climb high. It’s daylight but it’s an overcast day and our goth is in the shade.
4.8 out of 5 - Do your research and reap the up-tree rewards
shebelievesinabeauty submitted this photo with the comment “This is from a modelling shoot I did recently, and I had a grand old time climbing that tree!”
This goth is displaying splendid form in the long-established tradition of goths up trees. I haven’t seen such dramatic hand and face modelling for at least a couple of months. Our goth is beautifully dressed with lovely makeup and she’s really embodying the spirit of the whole thing. You know, the Thing. Is it coincidence that her forearm tattoo is pulling the same expression as she is? I think not! She’s in the sun, it’s true, but she looks to be a decent height in the tree and she’s not smiling.
4.8 out of 5 - I’m impressed.
vitreousrose submitted this photo with the comment “My best friend Carolyn. We were doing a photoshoot of Carolyn’s goth garb in a cemetary that has graves as far back as 1700. Then we saw a tree… And we knew she had to get in it. It was too perfect.”
Yes, that tree is in the perfect location - surrounded by gravestones and in front of what I assume is a church. We haven’t had a goth loli inspired outfit for a while so bonus points for that. She looks quite at home up the tree, she’s a reasonable height, and she’s not smiling. It’s daylight but our goth is partially in the shade. Bonus points for the excellent tree placement and the cute socks and boots.
Aaaand apparently it’s World Goth Day again (22nd of May) where we celebrate the world of goths. As every day is goth day for me, I’m celebrating by being alive. For you non-goths, I suggest you buy your local goth a drink and compliment them on their hair, or you could buy yourself some decent eyeliner to support the Sophie Lancaster Foundation.
4.8 out of 5 - I’m waiting for my drinks and compliments, thanks.
Thom Capetanelis submitted this photo with the comment “Love the page, hope our picture makes the grade. Bonus: this was taken in a cemetery”.
Nicely done, boys. Let’s use the scorecard method of analysis (using a ‘†’ symbol as a check-mark because it’s more goff and I can’t find a tick symbol):
- Looking surly - †
- High up a tree - †
- Gothed up - †
- Minimal daylight - FAIL *tsk tsk*
- Bonus points - † (wintry skeletal trees, double goth action, cemetery [reported but no evidence shown], boots, excellent hair on one, crotch displaying on one, page love)
4.8 out of 5 - †††† = a fence
sniluminous submitted this photo with the comment “try to excuse my face I was not in a position where my neck seperates from it. I am short and had to get my male companion to help me into the tree, unfortunately he left me like this rather than getting me any further up.”
I think we can all agree that, despite the goth being low in the tree, this is an excellent photo. She is hanging from the tree and, using my patented method for classifying goths hanging from trees, the position rates highly as you could easily photoshop two small goth giraffes in the place of the branches she’s hanging from. [Edit, my good friend Digi just photoshopped her in between the Two Headed Monster from Sesame Street!] Bonus points for awesome hair, stripiness and boots. She’s out in the daylight but it’s clearly very cold. There’s a hint of amusement there but she’s not smiling.
4.8 out of 5 - This is probably the best low-tree-height/best potential-for-giraffe-photoshopping photo I’ve been sent