Margaret submitted this photo with the comment “goth sloth.”
This photo had the makings of something truly beautiful but we’ve been let down, yet again, by the subject goth’s inability to control their facial muscles. I have a vast experience of hanging upside-down so I KNOW that you can stop yourself from smiling from this particular position. Imitating a sloth is no excuse.
Despite the lack of control over the facial expression, the goth IS a medium height up the tree, they’re in a graveyard and it is definitely night time. I’m impressed but it could have been so much more.
4.9 out of 5 - Just remember that sloths only relieve themselves once a week. If you’re trying to channel a sloth but in a goth fashion just think of how happy would you be if you only relieved yourself once a week and then represent that in a facial expression.
ceironellein submitted this photo with the comment “A rather old picture of me, but a good one none-the-less. As a pagan, I am quite fond of trees. Shortly after this photo was taken, it started to rain, which I proceeded to dance in.”
Those crazy pagan kids. Always climbing trees, dancing in the rain and calling to the watch towers of the North. My friend and I decided that we were pagans when we were 15, which may or may not have coincided with the release of the movie The Craft, our investigation into full time Black Wearing™ and our acceptance of Trent Reznor as our one true saviour. Clearly I lack commitment because I gave up on the pagan thing after I discovered vodka and started invoking that spirit instead.
This goth pagan lady is high up the tree and it’s a dreary day. She’s not smiling and she looks to be MBR (mid branch reach). Bonus points for: wearing sunglasses and a hat on a gloomy day, boots, and what I’m choosing to see as a cape (but is probably just a sleeveless vest).
4.9 out of 5 - Invoke the spirit of your choice (absinthe is good)
I ganked this goth up a tree from the wonderfully ganky world of tumblr. I would love to know who created it so I can give them a gluten free rhubarb pie (and credit).
This goth up a tree is either a) trying to cast some sort of up-tree spell on some ants, b) impaled on the sawn-off part of the tree due to an unfortunate climbing accident (I accept no liability), c) having a little tantrum because her Docs aren’t worn in yet and she has massive blisters and doesn’t want to walk home, or d) a combination of all three.
This photo reminds me a bit of this horror movie inspired photo from a few months ago. She’s nicely gothed up, high up the tree and I highly doubt she’s smiling. It’s daylight but she’s not in the sun. Excellent work.
4.9 out of 5 - Bonus points for arm extension.
LC submitted this photo with the comment:
So here is a lovely Montrealer named Kitty, reliving her more gothic youth. She is in a tree located in Parc du Mont-Royal, and so on the “mountain”(really just a hill) that gives our fair city its name.
We had hoped for sunset light, but winter dark comes quickly, and we also had to contend with the strange man who ordered Kitty to leave the city and condemned me to hell repeatedly. (More specifically, he intoned, “You’ve always known you were going to hell,” at me over and over in a sing-song manner.)
We later put Kitty on a log, but that seemed like cheating.
Isn’t it lovely when you’re condemned to hell by a total stranger? I’ve been condemned at least 5 times. Here’s a tip: don’t suggest to the condemner that you’re already in hell because it gets you nowhere.
This goth looks slightly amused but you’d look amused too if you’d just been ordered to leave the city by a stranger (unless it was actually the Mayor of the city, in which case you should probably just leave). It’s night time, she’s high up the tree and she has excellent hair and eye make-up.
4.9 out of 5 - Just popping out to visit me mate in the fiery pits.
egbamf submitted this photo with no comment.
This goth has her tree’s branch firmly in her grasp. The look on her face is a charmingly evil smirk, probably because she’s got a decent night shot up a tree. I can’t see how high up she is exactly but I assume she’s a respectable height. Bonus points for the dog collar. I would have liked a bit more visible tree and visible gothness but we take what we can get.
4.9 out of 5 - Grasp your tree like you’re never going to give it up (and it’s never going to let you down)
It’s Friday night and I’ve had a couple of glasses of my finest home brew ginger beer, my boyfriend is doing an interperative dance to the winning Eurovision 2012 song at me and I’m feeling a bit generous/insane/like I need some vodka. So, until the 28th September you can buy a t-shirt for 20% off by using this discount code: soberupverity at my shop. I only have 1 t-shirt left in some sizes so don’t let them get away!
gothpage submitted this photo with the comment:
"Hey, I’m Oliver! I am the owner and run Goth Page. A few of my friends have submitted their photos so I thought why not. I am a lover for Deathrock and Goth Rock, the music so relaxing and just has a great sound to it. I am also trying to brake into the modelling world and I’m trying to get my name out there for photographers etc, so if you like my look and you’re living in Norfolk, then please drop me a message in my inbox. Anyway if you would like to follow me on Twitter then my name is Gothly_Guy.”
Excellent pose, Oliver, and a dodgy bit of shameless self-promotion. Here is a list of the things I love about this photo:
- fabulous extension across the branch;
- the pose looks comfortable and displays the legs well;
- I love me a blonde goth;
- interesting graffiti on the tree (um, does that say ‘baby’?);
- he looks high up the tree;
- appealing ‘hello ladies’ look (and not smiling);
- excellent New Rocks, stripy pants, gloves, and strategic rips in his unidentified print t-shirt (I want it to be something as excellent as 3 Wolves Howling at the Moon but I don’t think it is).
Unfortunately, it’s day time but we can’t have everything.
4.9 out of 5 - If he’s allowed to shamelessly self-promote then so am I: buy my t-shirts! I swear they will improve your wardrobe immeasurably.
Catherine submitted this photo with the comment “My friend Becky up a tree :)”
Spot the goth up the tree! I find that if you squint a bit you can see the goth more clearly. It’s sort of like a magic eye optical illusion thingy but with a person wearing black up a tree at night time.
The fact that all you can really see is the reflection from the back of the goth’s eyes is veerrry eerie. It’s night time, she’s not smiling and she’s high up the tree. I wish I could see more of, you know, everything in the photo so I’m going to have to deduct points for lack of clarity. However, if she was aiming for camouflage then she’s done very well.
4.9 out of 5 - Spot the goth in the pitch black night.
sexyDEATHparty submitted this photo with the comment:
“There are few climbable trees to scoot up on in the city, but when one is spiffed up for the local goth event of the summer one makes an effort in suitable tree-finding. Stuffing my tiny tiny backpack with the necessities - ID, dollars for the bar, and black eyeliner, I hopped up in this tree. And waited for my boyfriend to take a photo… and waited… and, no, no, this won’t work without the flash… turn it on. What? It’s blurry? Use the focus feature… and, huh? You’ve never used that feature? Oh my gawth!!”
Never had to manually focus before? Goodness, what kind of low light photographs was this goth’s boyfriend taking? What kind of a goth doesn’t take excellent low-light photos? *shakes head* I’m glad this young goff lady found climbable tree in the city before a goth night. I have wanted to do that for a while but I can never find any decent trees when I’m gothed up to the max (either that or I’ve had too many pre-club drinks to be bothered - yeah, I should be committed, I know).
She’s clearly wearing a summer clubbing outfit and I like the blue PVC Lip Service skirt (I have that one in red, aw yeah), her boots and hair colour. I’m not going to talk about the crin because I’m generally not a fan of it so I can’t comment objectively. She’s grimacing nicely and it’s night time. She doesn’t look too high up the tree but it’s a good effort in that teensy weensy skirt.
4.9 out of 5 - Know how to operate thy camera in order to capture night time goths up trees in their full splendour.
Also, HAPPY 30 OLD DAY BIRTHDAY THING, to mon frere Spreckenstein!
Die submitted this photo with the comment “This is the entirety of Zombina and the Skeletones in various stages of up-ness of a tree in about 1999.
The tree is admittedly fallen and it is daylight, but conversely it is also a dead tree and it is in a graveyard, so swings and roundabouts, eh?”
Swings and roundabouts indeed. To be honest, the volume of goth excellence in this photo provided by the up-trees and the supporting cast vastly outweighs any potential issues I have with fallen trees. The tree is quite massive so there are at least three goths high up it. There isn’t much smiling going on, thankfully, and the up-tree goth in the centre (with the excellent boots) is looking at the photographer like she wishes they were dead. I’d like to know what the guy up the top is pointing at. My guess is the photographer just made a terrible joke like: ‘What do you get if you cross a goth and a toilet? The cisterns of mercy.’ and the pointing guy is very much ‘LEAVE NOW’. Yeah, I’d leave now if I were the photographer. That joke was terrible.
It’s daylight, but there’s a boy with a skeleton t-shirt and a fez in the supporting cast. Take that.
4.9 out of 5 - Cisterns of Mercy! hahaahha
Jenn submitted this photo with the comment “Me up in a tree at hillcrest park inn fullerton.”
Well done, Jenn. A very sensual up-tree pose with a charming ‘come hither’ look in your eye. I was going to question the faery wings, but then I remembered that I used to wear faery wings made out of fishnets and coat hangers, as a teenager, when I was going through my ‘I’m an evil gothic cyber faery’ phase (don’t ask), so I’m in no position to question wings.
There are so many things to love about this photo. I particularly like the way this up-tree pose appears completely natural to the goth. She’s relatively high up the tree (she submitted another photo so I can attest to the height) and it’s night time. There is a hint of a knowing smile there, unfortunately.
4.9 out of 5 - Faery wings help you achieve that natural up-tree pose.
KZ submitted this photo with the comment “Late night tree climbing with a significant other. Photographer was also up the tree. No idea how we managed to stay up there with such shoes, but oh well.”
You managed to stay up there because of the shoes, I’m sure. I imagine they’re wedged in there so tightly you couldn’t move if you wanted to. That’s what happens to me when I try to climb trees in big boots (and, yes, you will see the fruits of my tree climbing in the next day or so - BE AFRAID or be mildly annoyed, your choice).
Where is this supposed significant other? They seem pretty insignificant and invisible to me. I like this cute lil goth’s penchant for stripes. It’s night time and she’s not smiling. She looks to be a low-medium height up the tree. Proper job!
4.9 out of 5 - Wedge your boots in the tree to maintain stability
wallofdogs submitted this photo with no comment.
Um, a goth bunny up a tree wearing some kind of duel-phallus fluffy headband? I think she might be wearing one of those hilarious hen’s night headbands. Or is that just my filthy mind at work and these are some innocent fluffy horns of some kind? Innocent horns! ha! No such thing.
There’s no smiling, it night time (I think) and she’s a decent height up the tree. Bonus points for bunny-pose and phallus headband. I like her shiny leggings and boots, too.
4.9 out of 5 - Nice work, fluffy phallus-head tree bunny!
Craabus submitted this photo of Spreckenstein with the comment: “I spotted this tree-dwelling goth attempting to hide after being found out in broad daylight in the Tasmania rainforest.”
WOW. This should be some kind of new subsection; goths planking (or should I say “hiding”) up trees! This kind of pose definitely takes some serious abdominal and facial fortitude and you’ve got to admire that. You also have to admire the New Rocks, the SportsGoth™-like physique and paleness of the skin. I like the mossy rainforest setting and the fact that this goth is planking across two trees (double the up-tree-ness!) with his face in a pile of leaf litter. I would be worried about ending up with a face full of leeches, to be honest. However, leeches are the vampires of the worm world and therefore could be considered mega goth so, you know, it could be a bonus to end up with leeches on your eyeballs! Throw out your cosmetic contacts, kids, just shove a leech on your eyeball!
There’s no smiling, he’s high up a dead tree if you multiply the height by the number of trees. It’s daylight but he’s in a gloomy rainforest.
4.9 out of 5 - Look at this. Just, look at it.
Toria submitted this photo with no comment.
Yes! A well-dressed sun-conscious goth up a tree in a graveyard. That’s what I like to see! I very much like her creative eye makeup and nose chain. I’ve always been too scared that I’d get a chain like that caught on my wrist spikes and rip out a piercing in a painful hair brushing incident to attempt such facial decoration. I appreciate it when others do it because I can admire it without the hair brushing fear.
This goth is quite high up the tree and she’s not smiling. Bonus points, of course, for being in a graveyard. It’s daytime but she has demonstrated sun-consciousness by wielding a parasol.
4.9 out of 5 - Fearless hair brushing goths should all wear nose chains to enable their ears to hear their noses better.
astareth submitted this photo with the comment “I took this photo myself- I set the self timer and scrambled into this ancient cherry tree to make the grimmest pose I could muster within 4 seconds.”
Oh my goth, how awesome is that tree? All gnarled and mossy and massive with the added bonus of delicious cherries. Hmm, do trees that old still produce fruit? Do trees get menopause? Do trees have mid-life crises and attempt to attract younger, more nubile goths to ascend their trunks? FILTHY.
Bonus points to the goth for a very grim self portrait, especially given the limited time frame. They’re nice and high in the tree and there’s no smiling. It’s daylight but I think it would be difficult to capture the awesomeness of this tree at night time without a significant lighting rig.
4.9 out of 5 - Happy are the bystanders watching goths run from their cameras and up trees to pull grim poses in 4 seconds.