Dr C Sprocken submitted this photo with an accompanying short story:
I’m a self titled goth hunter. Every night I go out with hopes to capture eternally gorgeous images of goths in the wild. Lately, my work has been completely dead and not in a good way. As I went on a dismal walk during the last autumnal evening in Kansas City, I thought to myself that all the spookiness in this town must have been completely eradicated by the proliferation of readily available slurpee machines. Just as I was about to give up and go drool over latex unicorn man viral videos, I noticed something aglow high up in a tree. With my camera at the ready I crept close. The feeling that something special was about to unfold rattled deep in my bones. I lifted up a prickly branch, darted under, and snapped shots like crazy. I was blinded and two large somethings skittered past me like howler monkeys into the night! I laid writhing in a pile of tree needles for about an hour until I could see again. When I finally could, this photo was the only one that remained on my camera. I believe I have captured the rarest and greatest photo in the history of gothdom! The mere existence of gothic man booty already makes this an incredibly rare photo! However, this is clearly a moment captured during the ancient ritual summoning of The Great Lord Bootyzebub known to have once blessed a young Trent Reznor. Never before today has such a rare occurrence been documented and released to the public! May Bootyzebub rise again!
In summary: Night time? ✔ Height in tree: high Goth count: 2 Outfit rating: high Not smiling: ✔ Gothic arse-in-moonlight: ✔ My satisfaction level: through the canopy. Bonus points: excellent boots, mention of Trent Reznor’s arse (haha look at Trent’s arse in cut-offs. I wonder if he’s a never-nude?)
5 out of 5 - Nothing beats a gothic arse-in-moonlight shot.
MistressGothburger666 submitted this photo with the comment “8 Goths up a tree with 1 pug at night time. In your face”.
There you have it, friends, 8 goths up a tree at night time with 1 pug supporting cast member in our collective faces. None of the goths are smiling and two of them are too reclusive to even face the camera. There seems to be a bit of skin showing there but no one’s ever been tanned by moonlight as far as I know. Bonus points for the New Rocks, supporting pug, the sheer number of goths and the creative use of mobile phones for lighting purposes. I imagine a fair bit of phone battery was expended for this shot but I think it’s worth it. I just hope they had some battery left to tweet about how they have run out of battery from posing up trees. Excellent job, goths. I wish to be friends with the likes of you.
5 out of 5 - 8 goths up one tree + 1 pug IN OUR FACES.
Dorylini submitted this photo with the comment “it was raining, so we went to the graveyard, of course.”
My faith in the gothic subculture is being restored one goth up a tree (in a graveyard at night) at a time. This goth is showing particular dedication by enduring the elements to climb her tree (although apparently she chose the graveyard because it was raining, so is it dedication or a fondness for bark inflicted grazes?)
Bonus points for the tree height, the lack of smile, the black velvet dress, the boots, and the mid-climb action shot. The graveyard looks sufficiently eerie and this goth has made the up-tree experience look entirely natural.
5 out of 5 - Why aren’t there any graveyards around my town with decent trees? WHY?
Margaret submitted this photo with the comment “we went to a graveyard on a cold rainy evening, there’s no effect on the picture, the light was just weird colors. also possible ghost involvement.”
I find it difficult to be impressed these days due to the world being a constant source of disappointment to me, but this photo has genuinely impressed me. For the first time in at least a year I nearly cracked a smile. Not only is this goth up a tree in a cemetery but she’s there at night time, she’s not smiling and there’s eerie shit going on with the light. What can I say apart from 5 points, friends? NOTHING.
Iana submitted this photo and twoothers with the comment:
Got drunk at a camping wedding and did not want to waste the opportunity to be up wild trees (as opposed to urban trees). I am attaching three incase you have a preference for one over the others. It was very dark, so I could not see wtf I was doing until she took the pictures. The first one is mid-climbing into the tree, the second one is the official “goth up a tree” take, and the third is not being able to figure out how to get down, properly stuck for moment, its so sad!
I found it difficult to choose the primary photo out of the three Iana sent me because the othertwo certainly have their charms. I chose this one because our goth isn’t smiling, she looks a tiny bit seedy (as one would when drunk at a camping wedding), and I like the mid-climb action shot. She’s clearly a resourceful goth as she has found a chair to get a boost up into the tree to a decent height. Bonus points for the night time shot, the goth’s very pretty hair colour and my favourite style combination of lacy/frilliness and stompy boots.
5 out of 5 - Chairs don’t seem to help much when climbing out of a tree when drunk.
Inquisitor submitted this photo with the comment “Here you see my friend Porange. I was taking perfectly sensible photos of her one night, when a bystander said “Goths up trees!” I, knowing little of the ways of the world, replied “That’s a thing?” Next I knew, we were bound for pastures arboreal… Enjoy.”
To the helpful bystander who made this photo happen, I salute you. This is an excellent night shot of a paled up lady bedecked in black and white. Our goth is high up the tree and she’s not smiling. She looks comfortable in her up-tree pose as if she’s waiting for something. Bonus points for perfect face angling.
5 out of 5 - If you’re going to yell “goths up trees” at goths, please make sure: a) that the people you’re yelling at are actually goths (and not metallers or hardcore/scene/emo/punk kids or individuals who just love wearing black and don’t identify with any subculture thankyouverymuch), b) that they’re having a photoshoot near a tree, and c) you’re prepared for disdainful looks and eye-rolling if they’re not in a frisky mood.
Simple, spooky and awesome. She looks like a blonde witchy up-tree version of Sadako from Ringu (or Samara from the American version; The Ring) which scared the crap out of me. This is why I dressed like her for a party and put a beach towel over the TV in my room after I saw the movie (true story *ahem*).
She’s relatively low in the tree but she looks as if she’s levitating. I’m guessing she’s not smiling under her hair, but a terrifyingly demonic smile would be appropriate if she was. It’s night time and the grainy photo with it’s flaws really make it all the more eerie. The outfit is simple and effective. Top work.
5 out of 5 - Fact: a beach towel over your TV will stop vengeful ghost girls crawling out of it to kill you. SEVEN DAYS.
Varick submitted this photo with no comment and I think you’ll all agree that a goth high up a tree with a sword requires no comment.
Here we have another fine addition to the goth male up a tree with a sword category. Initially I thought this had been edited to look like it was taken at night, but I think it’s genuine and has a funky filter on it to make it look more dramatic (or I’m completely wrong and someone will tell me off.)
Our goth is high up the tree and he’s not smiling. We can tell he hates cows with all that leather he’s wearing. I like that he has included a hat in his sword-wielding-up-trees ensemble as it’s shading his face from the moon’s damaging rays. Bonus points for everything.
5 out of 5 - Cow-hating, sword-wielding, tree-loving goths unite!
I submitted this photo with the comment: “me and me mates up some trees”
Happy Goth Christmas everyone! Yes, yes, some people call it Halloween but it’s actually Goth Christmas to those in the know (all 20 of us). Like a big goth satan santa, I bring you 7 goths up 3 trees (and one supporting cast member pretending to be a rock)! You will notice that some are in Halloween costume; you can see the Mad Hatter there but there’s also the Terminator and an absinthe fairy hiding in the trees. It’s hard to get a good idea of who’s smiling and who’s just complaining that they’re being spiked in the bum by a branch, but you try and keep your friends still at a 3am post-goth-club gathering up trees after you’ve plied them with absinthe. Bonus points given for everything.
5 out of 5 - 7 goths up 3 trees. Try and beat that.
DJ Nocturna submitted this photo with the comment:
"The 3rd Annual MISS VAMP HAWAII 2012 Beauty Pageant will take place on Friday, October 12, 2012 at the historic Hawaii Theatre. 15 beautiful vampires will grace the stage with their talents, Q&A, Moon bathing competition and more. Who would ever think you would find vampires in Hawaii, or as Nick Cave might say the other place "where the sun shines" and let alone a vampire beauty pageant in Hawaii."
That’s a whole lot of Hawaiian goth ladies up one (albeit dead) tree. 8 in total. 8! And then there’s the 3 supporting cast members who are just hanging out, looking supportive and a bit annoyed. I have complete respect for goths who live in warmer climes. It takes a lot of dedication to maintain gothic composure while you’re sweating torrents underneath your corset and your eyeshadow creases as soon as you put it on. I’m confused by the concept of a vampire beauty pageant (then again, I’m confused by the concept of a beauty pageant in general). Does everyone put in fake fangs and answer questions important to vampires like ‘how would you cure the world of anaemia?’ or ‘if you could eat one world leader who would it be and why?’ or ‘how much do you hate that sparkly whinger?’.
This photo looks like it was taken at night time but there’s a distinct air of photoshop about it and I can’t tell if it’s authentic or not. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. Not one of them is smiling but I’m guessing vampire beauty pageant entrants never smile. The 8 up the tree are quite high and there’s a variety of poses and facial expressions, my favourite one being the girl who looks like she’s just had her hair pulled by one of the other contestants. I’m guessing it was the one directly behind her with the blonde hair as she’s looking pretty triumphant.
Pecze Margit submitted this photo with the comment “Hi, I’m Margit from Hungary, and this is me on a pine tree. It was taken after a photoshoot at 2am, maybe it explains my slightly psychopathic expression. And no I’m no lost daughter of Green Lantern. :)”
You’ve done well, Margit, and I never would have thought you were the daughter of the Green Lantern. I looked it up and there is a character called ‘Jade’ (imaginatively named) who is the Green Lantern’s daughter who has some superpower called ‘Starheart’ which is blah blah blah blah boring. It’s much better to have the superpower of being an awesome goth, I think.
This goth is fulfilling all my requirements for a 5 point score; it’s night time, she’s well dressed, she’s not smiling and she’s high up the tree. I am appreciating the corset and cape, especially, and all the drapey goodness. Her shoes are practical but cute. Good props, tree identification and “slightly psychopathic expression”.
5 out of 5 - The power of being an awesome goth is better than any superpower called ‘Starheart’
So on World Goth day, my friends and I decided to have a cemetery party to commemorate. And then we found this tree…
Here are 2 photos that came out of the festivities. One is a more accurate “up” tree pose, while the second is pretty impressive in the “Tree” and “goth” scale but a lot less Up and more around. But we’re Goths! We are up! And that sure is a tree.
Absolutely stellar work, friends. What an excellent way to celebrate World Goth Day! Personally, I was swilling vodka from a skull while sitting in a rose bush (well, I fell in a rose bush and couldn’t be bothered getting out).
This photo is an excellent example of goths banding together to achieve up-tree greatness. Here we have a combination of 7 goths/goth-compatible-types high up massive tree with 6 supporting cast members, with one in particular striking an impressive pose with a cane. It’s night time and there’s no smiling. I like the variety of summery goth outfits and I’m very glad of the decent quality photos. I think this photo gets the award for most up-trees in one photo. Top marks.
5 out of 5 - Great things are achieved by goth who cooperate.
"I don’t know if this meets your criteria, but it’s worth a shot… This is a screencap from the video for Black No. 1 by Type O Negative, which I’m submitting to you because every time I see this bit of the video it reminds me of gothsuptrees. Type O Negative may not be a goth band, but they are liked by a lot of goths (like Rammstein, who you deemed goth enough to post a picture of) and this song is a homage to/parody of the goth subculture. The video also features lots of gothy individuals, including those up the trees. So, I put it to you: is a picture of some goths up trees (with Peter Steele in the foreground) in a rather gothy video for a song about goths worthy of being included on your site?"
Of course this bloody song is worthy of being on my site! I love Type O Negative and I haven’t seen this film clip in ages, otherwise I would have submitted it to myself. The screenshot is taken from about 1 minute into the filmclip and if you watch it you can see that there are others up the tree too. I have no idea why Peter is standing in front of a tree playing a double bass like a guitar while people up a tree wave their arms but WHO CARES.
The up-trees are high up, it’s night time and some of them look like they’re dressed as Droogs.
5 out of 5 - Enjoy Type O Negative in front of trees
camarorush submitted this photo with the comment “The evening was dreary, depressing even. The graveyard was almost devoid of victims to bewitch: practically vacant. Yet there was nowhere but up for our coven’ to go, up trees….”
4 goths high up a tree in a graveyard at night time and none of them are smiling! *JOY* These guys sent me twoother photos as well which you really should look at because they’re just as great and feature different goths.
The red lighting is particularly effective here and like the white light on the leaves. There’s a good variety of poses and facial expressions on the goths. I suspect that these guys have gothed up for the occasion which is one of the best things about their submission, I think. I may be wrong about this, of course, as my gothdar is calibrated to Level 2 Extreme Caffeine mode at the moment which has an error margin of +/-10 goth points. They’ve done well, no matter what.
5 out of 5 - Well done, friends. You’ve made me proud. You should have some absinthe tonight to celebrate your up-tree achievement.
Anna submitted this photo with the comment “My friend Caroline Kullman took this photo of me up a tree. I have such good friends. :)”
It’s very handy to have a photographer for a friend because it means you can ask politely (with crying, if it helps) if they’d take an excellent night shot of you up a tree and they will be forced to do it for you for the sake of friendship and to stop you crying.
I’m sure this goth didn’t employ the crying technique because it would have ruined her creative eyeliner. Excellent things are going on in this photo; she’s not smiling, she’s a decent height up the tree, it’s night time, and her hair is large. There’s nothing for it but to give her a top score.
5 out of 5 - Befriend a photographer today. Use the crying tactic as a last resort.
Please note: the t-shirt 20% off discount code gothsneedshirts is going to expire on Monday so get to the place of t-shirt purchasing and do what needs to be done before it’s too late.