terrestrial submitted this photo 3 times with different photo-shopped variations. This one had the the comment “twenty feet up in combat boots, red lace, black silk & lipstick darker than the empty cavern in my chest that once bore my heart. if you don’t think ropes and harnesses are goth, you cannot be saved.”
Saved from what? Sweat rash and chaffing? Eye-watering wedgies? Goths sticking their middle finger up? Woe is me.
This goth is an impressive height up the tree but it is clear that she received assistance. I’m all for laziness right now so I’m not going to deduct points for that. She’s looking surly and is sticking up her middle finger to show us how angst ridden she truly is, or something. It’s day time but she’s in the shade. Bonus points for effort and persistence with the multiple variations of the photo, and for the goth’s ability to wear a harness in a photo without it being the most unflattering photo in the world.
4.8 out of 5 - I’ll happily be saved from eye-watering harness wedgies
drewcifercdxx submitted this photo with the comment “I’m somewhat of an elder goth, as evidenced by my Robert Smith shirt. I’m up a dogwood, in an old cemetery. It was the middle of the day, that’s why I had it shot in black and white.”
At what age do you become an eldergoth, do you suppose? When I was a youngin’ I used to call anyone over 30 a “SOG” (sad old goth) but now I’m past that point I don’t know when the ‘elder’ bit starts. I don’t know if I want to be an eldergoth anyway. It sounds like I should be shaking my fist at the kiddiegoths and telling them to get out of my cemetery/dancefloor/black section at the op-shop… wait…
I like this goth’s honestly; he has embraced his eldergoth-ness and is celebrating it, and he admits that he has intentionally made the photo black and white due to the day time shot. He is a decent height in the tree, he’s not smiling, and he’s in a cemetery. Bonus points for the giant head of Robert Smith on his shirt and for just being honest about things. Refreshing.
4.7 out of 5 - I must be turning into an eldergoth if I find honesty exciting. When I swap the vodka for tea you’ll know things have really gone to shit.
ecksipoo submitted this photo with the comment “Brutal Goth <3”
I can’t really see much of what’s going on here but we’re told its br00tal. My uber goth pug is the most br00tal person in the house (you can tell by her hat) and she said this. I’ll take her word for it.
Our br00tal goffick is a lowish height in the tree but she’s not smiling and she’s added +10 atmosphere and made it near impossible to judge the type of day by making the image black and white. Cunning and brutal. What next?
4 out of 5 - Always refer to your pets when it comes to questions of br00tality.
sociallyawkwardpanda submitted this photo with the comment “This photo is actually a picture of me from 2008. A friend of mine had a senior photography project to do, so she threw me into a dusty old wedding gown and made me climb into some fairly uncomfortable tree canopies. My apologies for the white gown; I realize it’s not very goth.”
Where would I be without people who take ye olde photos of goths up trees for photography projects? Yeah, probably the same place I am now, but with less random t-shirts in my house (you should make them leave my house - there’s 30% off*!)
Here we have yet another apologetic goth. There’s no need to apologise for white dresses, friends. I have posted several goths in white dresses in the past and I am a fan. I appreciate the light and shade in this photo and the way the goth’s dress is caught in the branches and twigs of her nest. She’s not smiling and she seems high in the tree. It’s daylight but she’s mostly in the shade.
4.7 out of 5 - I want to quote Marla Singer from Fight Club but she was talking about bridesmaid’s dresses not wedding dresses so it doesn’t work.
* Use discount code: 100percentgoth
Hannah submitted this photo with the comment “It was a sad day for us, but we tried to be happy. Hannah is a great sport.”
The question is: does Hannah normally refer to herself in the third person or did the submitter accidentally put Hannah’s name in the ‘Name’ field when they should have put theirs? I’m going to go with the third person option because Verity*, who has to get her jollies where she can, thinks that’s much more amusing.
Hannah is high up the tree and she’s not smiling. The cunning use of black and white detracts from the daylight, but I’m not fooled. I like the industrial cladding on the building behind but I don’t know why. It’s probably a side effect of watching too much Grand Designs recently.
4.2 out of 5 - I’m deducting points because they admitted that they were trying to be happy despite being perfectly sad at the time.
* Yes, that’s my name, don’t wear it out…. although technically you can’t wear names out.. unless of course you cut the letters out of fabric and sewed them together into an outfit… which would be attractive. On second thoughts, please wear it out.
Jackie submitted this photo with the comment “Two of my very good friends in a tree at our local cemetery in Humboldt county, forgive the smiles, thc tends to do that to you..”
If the gothic subculture is your subculture of choice, friend, then I would consider trying alternative ways of achieving an altered state of consciousness that do not cause you to do something unfortunate like smile. THC is clearly not helping your uberness.
Bonus points for the cemetery location. I like the resourcefulness shown by perching on the trunk at a medium height rather than the branches of the tree. I can’t fully see what’s going on with the outfit but it looks warm and practical. Not sure what the supporting cast member is doing lurking in the corner but he/she/it is adding some eeriness to the shot.
4 out of 5 - You need to consider your gothness in all states of consciousness.
lovesambina submitted this photo with the comment “G. O. Tree. H.”
The submitter is deliberately tempting me with an acronym to decipher to distract me from the obvious fact that she’s just leaning on a tree and is not actually up it. It is, however, a lovely picture and she reminds me of a gelfling from the Dark Crystal, so bonus points there. I love me a blonde goth and I like her make-up but I am questioning her choice of jacket. She’s not smiling but it’s definitely daylight.
3 out of 5 - I’m too lazy to be tempted by your acronym. OK here’s one: Get On Tree, Hellion. Or, my new username: Grim Obsessed Tree Hater.
I ganked this goth up a tree from the wonderfully ganky world of tumblr. I would love to know who created it so I can give them a gluten free rhubarb pie (and credit).
This goth up a tree is either a) trying to cast some sort of up-tree spell on some ants, b) impaled on the sawn-off part of the tree due to an unfortunate climbing accident (I accept no liability), c) having a little tantrum because her Docs aren’t worn in yet and she has massive blisters and doesn’t want to walk home, or d) a combination of all three.
This photo reminds me a bit of this horror movie inspired photo from a few months ago. She’s nicely gothed up, high up the tree and I highly doubt she’s smiling. It’s daylight but she’s not in the sun. Excellent work.
4.9 out of 5 - Bonus points for arm extension.
sky-cowgirl submitted this photo with no comment.
This lady is looking quite majestic perched upon her up-tree throne. She’s managed the lack of smile well by adopting an interested yet commanding look. This is what I would like to look like when I’m up a tree, rather than just crabby and slightly uncomfortable (or a bit droopy if I’ve had too much absinthe), but that’s just the way my face falls.
They’ve attempted to thwart potential point deductions for colour and excessive sunlight by making the photo grey-scale, but I see through their editing! She’s high in the tree. Bonus points for the corset, lacy skirt (whatever colour it is), and excellent tree selection.
4.6 out of 5 - It’s the majesty of goth, the fantasy of roll, the ticking of the clock, the wailing of the soul </spinal tap reference>
Ljubica submitted this photo with the comment
Hey, this photo was taken with analogue camera in Parque de Ciudadela in Barcelona, Spain, in the middle of August. We thought the palm would give a special note to the photo. We hope you will like it and publish it as soon as possible! Keep up the great work and greetings from Spain. Ljubi, Eva, Steve (photographer)
Ah, yes, I see what you did there. The old ‘put the goths up an unexpected tree’ trick. Well, hats (or shoes) off to you.
The analogue camera and black and white filter certainly add a bit of eeriness to the otherwise cheery palm tree setting. Goth no. 1 isn’t high up the tree but points for her excellent use of mask. Goth no.2 is high up the tree but she’s a bit blurry. They’re not smiling and it’s night time.
4.95 out of 5 - A million points to the goths who climb trees containing millions of spiders.
Mariah submitted this photo with the comment “Wearing a Ouiji Board shirt to a grave yard may be brilliant or stupid, it’s a toss up really.”
I don’t know about the brilliant or stupid bit, Mariah. I think wearing a Ouija board shirt to a graveyard just suggests that you really love board games and aren’t afraid to show it to grieving people.
I’m very glad this goth brought her toy owl along with her because it definitely adds a certain owly je ne sais quoi (or, as the locals around here say it “jer-na-says-kwar”). There are some interesting headstones there; I particularly like the black pyramid. She’s a medium height up the tree, she’s not smiling and she’s added some darkened edges to make the whole thing more spooky. Bonus points for the owly friend and graveyard.
4.6 out of 5 - Points deducted for the parked cars. It would have been nice to see a hearse instead.
Lisa Twinkle submitted this photo with the comment “A Goth & a suspicious looking Punk up a tree!”
They both appear pretty bloody suspicious to me. This looks to me like one of those horror movies where the punk kills the goth over an up-tree argument about whether Siouxsie Sioux is a punk or a goth. What? Those movies don’t exist? WELL THEY SHOULD.
It’s night time, they’re high up the tree and there’s no smiling. Bonus points for suggestions of up-tree murder. I would have liked to see more of the goth’s boots.
4.95 out of 5 - This punk is clearly sick of defending his musical tastes
knochenblume submitted this photo with the comment:
"I listen to their very sweet sob make my grey silence bloom” (Alejandra Pizarnik, argentinian poet)
I’ll tell you what makes my grey silence bloom and that’s Swiss absinthe or a mallet to the head, although the absinthe usually makes my grey silence bloom and then, after the 6th one, I fall asleep (whereupon my green silence blooms).
It looks as if this goth is gripping something nail-like, which makes me think that she’s listening to the tree’s very sweet sob after stabbing it in the trunk. I could be wrong. She could be twiddling a broken branch or something. Either way, I suspect she’s being cruel to trees to fuel her own grey silence habit. Tut tut. She looks high up the tree and she’s not smiling. It’s day time but she’s covered the majority of her skin well.
4.4 out of 5 - Destroy brain cells, not trees!
Also, here’s a link to an interview I did with The Black Flag, an alternative culture and music web mag. It’s all true, I assure you.
PhoenixDiCorvo submitted this photo with the comment “This was actually from a photo shoot on a playground… there just also happened to be trees… and since it is our natural habitat, of course she ended up in the tree…”
I’m so glad that goths other than my friends are coming to acknowledge that trees are their natural habitat. What more could you want from a habitat? Trees have perfect perches for posing (and alliteration), uncomfortable seating/lying arrangements, shelter from sun unless you’re in a deciduous tree in winter, and they provide excellent locations to subtly frighten passers-by because no one expects to look up and see a goth up a tree (other than you and me but we don’t count).
This goth looks high up in the tree and she’s not smiling. She’s gripping onto that tree for dear life, which is good. We see all too many goths looking nonchalant about the up-tree experience and I like to see a bit of fear now and then, even if they are in their natural habitat. The angle is slightly different than we’ve seen before. Bonus points for looking like she might fall out on us.
4.4 out of 5 - Catch goths who fall from trees
digitsink submitted this image with the comment “Gorey girl, up a tree! Spotted this on http://thisisnthappiness.com/”
Isn’t this lovely? This is from the book Three Ladies Beside the Sea by Rhoda Devine, illustrated by our beloved macabre author and illustrator Edward Gorey. When I say ‘our beloved’ I mean beloved by goths because I don’t know one goth girl who hasn’t got a book written or illustrated by him. If you haven’t seen his work then check it out.
I know it’s a drawing and not a photo but I think it’s relevant because it was drawn by Gorey and this maiden is obviously a goth high up a tree. There’s no smiling and she’s wearing a very sun-smart outfit and dangerously long beads.
4.5 out of 5 - Gothery up trees, as endorsed by Gorey.