frreakshow submitted this photo with the comment “Sophie and I were up a tree which is conveniently placed in front of a church.”

How thoughtful of someone to plant a tree, decades ago, in front of a church for goths to climb!  How inconvenient that your friend forgot to goth-up for the occasion.  If I were you, I’d just ditch her and find a gothier friend.  Just keep hanging out in church trees and eventually you’ll find a bunch of like-minded souls to befriend (or church-ground landscapers, which could be useful for after-hours cemetery jaunts).

I know, I know, I should be more understanding of non-goth supporting cast members accompanying their goths up a tree.  They’re high up the leafless wintry tree, they’re in the shade, and they’re not smiling. Bonus points for the church.

4.5 out of 5 - Don’t ditch your non-goth friends, they’re good for a lift up a tree.

cressidaknapp submitted this photo with the comment “These photo’s were taken on the January full moon. We did the shoot before initiating each other into the coven ‘Cloud of Bats’. Then we went home and watched Rosemary’s baby and drank tinned Pina Colada’s.”

Straight up… now tell me do you really want to love me forever? oh oh oh…   Sorry, I had a small Paula Abdul moment including hair swishing but minus the tap dancing.  What I meant to say was, straight up, I think we can say that these aren’t goths.  I mean, they might be ✝ uber goffix ✝ at heart but their appearance says “totes hipster” to me.  I appreciate the effort they’ve gone to though and I’m glad they have observed the long standing tradition of drinking pina coladas from a can after a coven initiation.

They’re high up the tree, it’s night time, and they’re not smiling.  Bonus points for the full moon and sunglasses at night.  Points deducted for lack of obvious gothness.

3 out of 5 - After my coven initiation we drank cosmopolitans and watched Sex in the City.  Shitest coven ever.

Fate submitted this photo with the comment “Here you go.. my boy and and I, cliché it up by climbing up a tree IN a cemetery! I think we deserve bonus points because my boy here is the sexiest goth ever. Also.. my hair matches his pants. Impressive no? ;)  (I’ll send through a couple more for you too so you can pick your favourite)”

Young goth love up a tree *sigh* This photo is my favourite but the other two are amazing as well.  I do love a couple that colour coordinates.  I believe they say that “a couple that colour coordinates will always be mates”.  OK, I just made that up, but you often see elderly couples wearing matching tracksuits, don’t you? Yep. Case closed.

Our male goth is looking off into the distance in a masterful way and the lady goth’s kissing his hand in case he forgot that she was there (or she’s sucking on his finger, I’m not sure).  Bonus points for the graveyard tree, colour coordination, being in the shade, and being generally awesome goths.  Points deducted for tree height.

4.85 out of 5 - Couples who coordinate in graveyards…. um, something something something lifeguards.

laveller submitted this photo with the comment “Tree creepers”.

It looks to me like these goths have set a trap, Wednesday Addams style, and are waiting up a tree for their unsuspecting victims to fall prey.  They’ve definitely got Wednesday’s deadpan look down pat.  I’m sure old Wednesday would be disappointed, as I am, with the fact that they’re out in daylight.  At least one is up a tree at a decent height.

4.7 out of 5 - IT’S A TRAP!

Lisa Twinkle submitted this photo with the comment “A Goth & a suspicious looking Punk up a tree!”

They both appear pretty bloody suspicious to me.  This looks to me like one of those horror movies where the punk kills the goth over an up-tree argument about whether Siouxsie Sioux is a punk or a goth.  What? Those movies don’t exist?  WELL THEY SHOULD. 

It’s night time, they’re high up the tree and there’s no smiling.  Bonus points for suggestions of up-tree murder. I would have liked to see more of the goth’s boots.

4.95 out of 5 - This punk is clearly sick of defending his musical tastes

Robert Bahr submitted this photo with the comment “Out on a limb”.

There’s an awful lot of smiling going on in this picture and frankly it disturbs me.  What are they so happy about? Why bother blurring the top and bottom corners of a photo like that? Why does it annoy me so much? Why is it after 5pm on a Friday and my tummy is void of alcohol? Things need to change around here!

These two look like a charming couple, despite the blatant smiling.  He’s a decent height up the tree and she is being a very supportive supporting cast member (I think she’s just leaning on the tree and not up it). She’s particularly supportive of his shoe. They’re out in the sun which is disappointing as they’re both quite pale.  My guess is that he is the photographer and she’s the model which is why she’s gothed up more than he is.  Still, he could have made more of an effort.

4 out of 5 - Oh, wait, as if by miracle some alcohol has appeared.  The blurred edges no longer a problem.