star-toast submitted this photo with the comment “It was a really nice beautiful day outside, even thought I spent most of it inside, I decided to take photo of me because I haven’t done it in a while. After looking at all the photo, this one was the best”
This goth has successfully evaded the pivotal question ‘how high is the goth up the tree?’ by showing mostly their noggin and hardly any tree in the photo. What am I to do with this? *sigh* I’m not sure what his definition of a ‘beautiful day’ would be. My definition of a beautiful day for gothing is a still, overcast day that is cool enough to wear an excellent jacket and big boots but not so cold that my nose goes red and draws unwanted attention to itself. It looks like an overcast day but, you know, that could be because he has desaturated the colours.
He’s not smiling. He has admirable eyebrows and is doing well with a monochromatic make-up palette. I’m deducting points for tree height for obvious reasons.
3 out of 5 - I like a man with eye-liner and drawn on eyebrows but I’d like to see more of the tree he’s in.
mi-lo-do submitted this photo and one other with the comment: “This is Conor Foy. He’s been living in a treehouse listening to Wolves In The Throne Room since he fell out with his mother in 2011. He still uses the shower and sink in the house but has survived on a diet of berries and buckfast since then. He has a girlfriend he met on vampirefreaks.com who he hasn’t met yet.”
This goth is living the high life! *everyone groan….. now* I think we can all agree that living in a tree house, listening to atmospheric black metal, drinking fortified wine and eating berries while chatting to the Love Of Your Life™ on your goffick social networking sites sounds like the ideal way of life when you’re 17. I’m concerned about his toileting and cleansing arrangements, naturally.
In the primary photo he appears to be smiling a bit, which is disappointing. In the second photo there’s no smiling and an appropriate amount of horn displaying. There’s no denying he’s very high in the tree. It’s daylight but he’s shielded from the light. Bonus points for the tree-house, spikes and make-up attempt.
4.6 out of 5 - Let’s all live in tree houses. I bags this one.
Varick submitted this photo with no comment.
Goth boys seem to enjoy taking swords with them up trees. You can’t blame them, really, because you never know when you’re going to be attacked by a low flying bird of prey or a large bee. This goth looks ready to defend his trunk and I respect him for it.
I like that this goth is sporting a hat and is mostly covered from the sun. He’s high up a dead tree. He’s not smiling but it is daylight.
4.6 out of 5 - You should always be ready to defend your trunk.
Davey Pebb submitted this photo with the comment “May not be traditional make-up, but he is certainly a goth and he is up a tree.”
How can we tell that this guy is certainly a goth? He does appear to have blood dripping out of his mouth but that doesn’t automatically indicate gothness. He looks a bit too tanned and too used to wearing jeans for my liking. I’d say this guy looks like surfer who decided to climb a tree after a particularly painful trip to the dentist.
Yes, he’s high up a tree and he’s not smiling. Bonus points for blood trickle and vampiric tendencies. Points deducted for jean shorts and sun exposure.
3 out of 5 - Yeah, I climb trees topless and shoeless after visiting the dentist. What of it?
3liza submitted this photo with no comment.
This goth looks as if he’s trying to conquer this tree with the power of Stern Looks™ and Foot Resting™. I love me a stern metal pose and this one has the added bonus of a nonsensical foot-on-tree placement. It looks a little bit like he’s about to defy gravity and walk up the tree, keeping his arms crossed, Lionel Ritchie - Dancing on the Ceiling style.
Yes, yes, technically this goth is not ‘up’ the tree. His foot is up it, though, and I love this photo so much that I feel I have to post it for the sake of metal poses, stern looks and trees everywhere. He’s not smiling and he’s in a gloomy looking forest. He has the goth/metal skillz. Bonus points for hair. Points deducted for lack of tree height.
2.85 out of 5 - Death-stare a tree into submission!
insanitywetrust submitted this photo with the comment “Cemetery Tree”
Look closely, fellow goths up trees appreciators, for you will see that this person is indeed in a cemetery. Is this a goth or is this a guy dressed in black? ‘What is the difference?’, I hear you ask, and I say to you: shoes. I know no goths who would wear sneakers such as those pictured. He may just be a goth who has made questionable footwear choices, though. I know I’m questioning my own footwear choice today.
If this guy isn’t a goth then he has made a significant effort with his eyeliner, nail polish, and thumb-holes in his top. He’s not smiling, it’s night time and he’s a decent height up the tree. Good effort. Points deducted for questionable shoe choices.
4.8 out of 5 - Questionable shoe choices will always come back to bite you.
Jake Roberts submitted this photo with no comment.
You can see that this goth (with scene-kid influences?) is fearless when it comes to up-tree posing. He looks confident, sturdy, determined and definitely not thinking: ‘OMG, can this branch take my weight? Someone save my pirate boots!’ That’s sort of what I would be thinking if I were him, except for the pirate boot bit because my brain refuses to accept pirate boots as a footwear option for me.
Our friend here looks quite high up the tree and on a precarious looking branch. He’s not smiling and it’s a gloomy day. I have issues with the colourful t-shirt but at least it’s partially covered by a jacket. I’d recommend a black t-shirt with white text, such as one of mine, for the future. Good job.
4.3 out of 5 - I’m afraid I will never understand pirate boots.
goldstarhomo submitted this photo with the comment “This is a nice kid I recently started chatting with who lives in New Jersey. I don’t have much back story on the photo but it looks like they were having quite a bit of fun!”
This goth is having so much fun that he’s about to lose his shirt. That only happens to me in very special circumstances involving quite a bit of vodka, warm weather, a beach, a full moon, a bunch of tipsy goth lady friends yelling “FLASH AT THE MOON” at me. Yeah.
Using my method for classifying goths hanging from trees, he’s pulled himself quite high off the ground and is hanging from his legs and one arm, which is great. His hanging position and loss of shirt make the photo quite good for photoshopping purposes but I would have liked to see the whole goth in the shot, not just a cropped portion. He’s smiling and he’s carelessly displaying his skin in full sun, so sunburn is inevitable. Tut tut.
4 out of 5 - Points deducted for blatant skin exposure
marquislavey submitted this photo with the comment “Hey there, I’m a young goth guy from Germany! This picture was taken last year. I hope you like it ;) “
Nice work, young goth guy from Germany. You are doing great things with hair and trees in this photo. I can’t really see if you’re up the tree or just gripping a branch but I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt because of your outstanding (upstanding?) hair.
It’s a nice profile shot and he’s definitely not smiling. I have that unnerving urge to pat the shaved part of his head. Don’t pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about. He’s out in daylight but he’s fully covered except for the shaved bits so I hope he has sunscreen-ed his head well. I can’t see how far he is up the tree so I’m going to have to deduct points there.
4.1 out of 5 - for pretty goth boys and their excellent hair.
knochenblume submitted this photo with the comment “The guy in the picture is my love… and I need to say that although if we don’t live in the same city, is the best boyfriend I could have, I feel very lucky to have him in my life. Edu, I love you so much :)”
My first instinct when I read that blurb is to make exaggerated vomit noises at the screen and then roll my eyes. It’s a very childish response but I can’t help it because it’s all so bloody sweet! I know, I know; young love is a beautiful thing but I can not help my instinctual vomit-noise response.
The goth is high up the tree, he’s not smiling and he is well dressed. It’s a sunny day but his skin is mostly covered from the sun’s rays. He looks quite at ease and his head tilt is inquisitive but suggests understanding. I don’t know what he understands but it’s probably something soppy that I need to avoid in case I’m forced to make stupid vomit noises again.
4.5 out of 5 - We all love you, Edu.
gothpage submitted this photo with the comment:
“Hey, I’m Oliver! I am the owner and run Goth Page. A few of my friends have submitted their photos so I thought why not. I am a lover for Deathrock and Goth Rock, the music so relaxing and just has a great sound to it. I am also trying to brake into the modelling world and I’m trying to get my name out there for photographers etc, so if you like my look and you’re living in Norfolk, then please drop me a message in my inbox. Anyway if you would like to follow me on Twitter then my name is Gothly_Guy.”
Excellent pose, Oliver, and a dodgy bit of shameless self-promotion. Here is a list of the things I love about this photo:
- fabulous extension across the branch;
- the pose looks comfortable and displays the legs well;
- I love me a blonde goth;
- interesting graffiti on the tree (um, does that say ‘baby’?);
- he looks high up the tree;
- appealing ‘hello ladies’ look (and not smiling);
- excellent New Rocks, stripy pants, gloves, and strategic rips in his unidentified print t-shirt (I want it to be something as excellent as 3 Wolves Howling at the Moon but I don’t think it is).
Unfortunately, it’s day time but we can’t have everything.
4.9 out of 5 - If he’s allowed to shamelessly self-promote then so am I: buy my t-shirts! I swear they will improve your wardrobe immeasurably.
maxtm submitted this photo with the comment “Found this on livejournal… even in Russia.”
Oh yes, definitely in Russia. I’ve had a few submissions from Russia and they’ve all been great. I have a feeling that this might be a famous person because the watermark is for a Russian movie website. Perhaps there’s a movie about goths sitting up trees looking pensive (and cold) near bodies of water. Perhaps it’s a thriller/mystery/romance/comedy about a faceless person who assaults goths by pushing them out of trees and then one day falls in love with a lovely alcoholic goth girl and hilarity and romance ensues as they roam the country side finding bigger, better trees to climb. Or something. Maybe not.
Whoever this person is, they’re not smiling, they’re high up the tree, and it’s a very dreary looking day. There is a small chance that they’re asleep.
4.6 out of 5 - Even I wouldn’t watch a thriller/mystery/romance/comedy about a faceless person who pushes goths out of trees.
Update! About 10 people let me know that this is a screenshot of James Mcavoy in the movie Penelope.
la-chatte-noire submitted this photo and one other with the comment “I just fell upon these pictures of Lucas Lanthier and Daniel Ribiat from Cinema Strange, and I thought that they’d both qualify as goths up trees. I do apologize for the sunlight and Lucas’ obvious lack of any attempt to get up the tree. I found both photographs from the Cinema Strange fansite: cinema-strange.de.”
Just this morning I was thinking about how that this site lacks photos of goth boys frocked up and sitting in trees with giant fans and, low and behold, this photo was sitting in my drafts folder. What a coincidence!
So this is Daniel Ribiat from the goth-rock band/project Cinema Strange. These guys are well loved in the goth scene and I feel a bit silly that I don’t know a lot about them but I love them anyway because of giant fans and frocks and up-tree posing. There’s no smiling here and he looks to be a decent height up the tree. It’s daylight but I’m giving bonus points for the makeup, outfit, fan, glimpse of thigh, and regal expression.
4.6 out of 5 - You and I both know that a regular sized fan would have been ridiculous.
deathofennui submitted this photo with the comment “This is my friend Ash who couldn’t help but climb up this tree. It was quite easy for him to scale it. Getting down on the other hand…”
I’m making an assumption here that the tail visible is attached to this person’s outfit and he hasn’t just sat on someone’s cat. I can see the attraction of cat-sitting and not for comfort reasons (yes, I know, I am a bad bad non cat-loving goth).
My guess is that this is a cos-play outfit and not completely goth. However, I’m going to allow it because there is a cross-over between cos-players and goths, the outfit is dark, and he has big boots on. He looks high in the tree and he’s definitely not smiling. I can’t work out whether he’s looking at us with disdain or whether it’s ‘I just sat on a cat and I’m trying to keep a straight face’. Either way, I like it.
4 out of 5 - ‘Marge! That man is in our tree sitting on Fluffles again.’
John submitted this photo with the comment “After I dragged my photographer friend out at midnight his camera didn’t work and so we had to settle for a grainy phone picture. Bother. At any rate it definitely isn’t daytime and I’m definitely not smiling so I’m hoping that covers the key bases.”
What we have here is a dapper looking goth reclining up a tree just waiting for the goth ladies and/or lads to come a-flocking. He has all the requisite elements to a fine goth-boy outfit: bauhaus t-shirt, black jeans, shiny boots, topper, and cross around his neck. I think he may have a hoodie on and that scares me slightly but I’m not 100% sure of this due to the graininess of the photo. It’s night time, he’s high up the tree and he’s not smiling. He has, indeed, covered all the key bases. I think he’s looking to cover more bases in the very near future.
4.95 out of 5 - Pose up trees and wait for interested parties to flock to you.
