Snarf Elin Lind from Barcelona submitted this photo and two others with the comment “Hi, I hope you will like our photos from a nightly tree climbing excursion.”
Looking at all three photos submitted, you tell that these ladies whole-heartedly embraced their up-tree experience. They were certainly flinging their skirts around with gay abandon. I suspect that they may have dressed up for the occasion, but they’ve done well with their monochromatic colour palette, paled up faces and some nice stompy boots.
The lady in the primary photo has done well with extreme tree height and she’s showing us a bit o’ leg. She’s not smiling and it’s night time. I have qualms about the limited black in the outfit, but it’s monochromatic and they seem like they’ve had a jolly good, skirt swishing time, so I’m going to ignore it as best I can.
4.95 out of 5 - I feel like I’m missing something here.
Inquisitor submitted this photo with the comment “Here you see my friend Porange. I was taking perfectly sensible photos of her one night, when a bystander said “Goths up trees!” I, knowing little of the ways of the world, replied “That’s a thing?” Next I knew, we were bound for pastures arboreal… Enjoy.”
To the helpful bystander who made this photo happen, I salute you. This is an excellent night shot of a paled up lady bedecked in black and white. Our goth is high up the tree and she’s not smiling. She looks comfortable in her up-tree pose as if she’s waiting for something. Bonus points for perfect face angling.
5 out of 5 - If you’re going to yell “goths up trees” at goths, please make sure:
a) that the people you’re yelling at are actually goths (and not metallers or hardcore/scene/emo/punk kids or individuals who just love wearing black and don’t identify with any subculture thankyouverymuch),
b) that they’re having a photoshoot near a tree, and
c) you’re prepared for disdainful looks and eye-rolling if they’re not in a frisky mood.
etherealrose submitted this photo with the comment “This was taken at a Moonlight Soirée that I hosted recently. I was dubbed a tree troll, complete with branch moustache.”
Branch moustaches are the new, gother version of the tired old hipster finger moustache! However, the day a goth tattoos a branch moustache onto their finger is the day I start wearing baby pink tracksuits with “Roxy” written across the arse with an ill-fitting singlet, get a fake tan, and change my name to Chantelle.
This goth is looking very relaxed at her soirée. It’s night time and she appears to be a lowish height up the tree. I love her silvery hair and massive necklace. I hope I have this wrong, but it looks like she has a goth tracksuit on. Is she one of those fabled SportsGoths™? Is she relaxing up a tree after a swift jog around the moonlit forest? I don’t know. She’s not smiling. Bonus points for using the tree as an accessory.
4.7 out of 5 - No one is allowed to get a branch moustache tattooed on their finger.
hollywood-magic submitted this photo with no comment.
Simple, spooky and awesome. She looks like a blonde witchy up-tree version of Sadako from Ringu (or Samara from the American version; The Ring) which scared the crap out of me. This is why I dressed like her for a party and put a beach towel over the TV in my room after I saw the movie (true story *ahem*).
She’s relatively low in the tree but she looks as if she’s levitating. I’m guessing she’s not smiling under her hair, but a terrifyingly demonic smile would be appropriate if she was. It’s night time and the grainy photo with it’s flaws really make it all the more eerie. The outfit is simple and effective. Top work.
5 out of 5 - Fact: a beach towel over your TV will stop vengeful ghost girls crawling out of it to kill you. SEVEN DAYS.
cressidaknapp submitted this photo with the comment “These photo’s were taken on the January full moon. We did the shoot before initiating each other into the coven ‘Cloud of Bats’. Then we went home and watched Rosemary’s baby and drank tinned Pina Colada’s.”
Straight up… now tell me do you really want to love me forever? oh oh oh… Sorry, I had a small Paula Abdul moment including hair swishing but minus the tap dancing. What I meant to say was, straight up, I think we can say that these aren’t goths. I mean, they might be ✝ uber goffix ✝ at heart but their appearance says “totes hipster” to me. I appreciate the effort they’ve gone to though and I’m glad they have observed the long standing tradition of drinking pina coladas from a can after a coven initiation.
They’re high up the tree, it’s night time, and they’re not smiling. Bonus points for the full moon and sunglasses at night. Points deducted for lack of obvious gothness.
3 out of 5 - After my coven initiation we drank cosmopolitans and watched Sex in the City. Shitest coven ever.
Brian John Mitchell from Remora showing his Goths Up Trees loving self. I know it’s probably some eyeliner away from a perfect score….
Maaaaaate, while I heartily approve of your blatant promotion of the site/t-shirt and the effort you’ve gone to display your crotch high up a tree at night time while not smiling, if you love Goths Up Trees that much you would have known not to wear blue pants for fear of incurring my wrath! At least they’re not denim, but REALLY! I’m appalled. This is my appalled face: >;-{ HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING?
4.85 out of 5 - It’s true, some eyeliner would have helped your cause but I just can’t bring myself to give you a perfect score because of your silly blue pants. Try again and add more gothness.
Ljubica submitted this photo with the comment
Hey, this photo was taken with analogue camera in Parque de Ciudadela in Barcelona, Spain, in the middle of August. We thought the palm would give a special note to the photo. We hope you will like it and publish it as soon as possible! Keep up the great work and greetings from Spain. Ljubi, Eva, Steve (photographer)
Ah, yes, I see what you did there. The old ‘put the goths up an unexpected tree’ trick. Well, hats (or shoes) off to you.
The analogue camera and black and white filter certainly add a bit of eeriness to the otherwise cheery palm tree setting. Goth no. 1 isn’t high up the tree but points for her excellent use of mask. Goth no.2 is high up the tree but she’s a bit blurry. They’re not smiling and it’s night time.
4.95 out of 5 - A million points to the goths who climb trees containing millions of spiders.
I submitted this photo with the comment: “me and me mates up some trees”
Happy Goth Christmas everyone! Yes, yes, some people call it Halloween but it’s actually Goth Christmas to those in the know (all 20 of us). Like a big goth satan santa, I bring you 7 goths up 3 trees (and one supporting cast member pretending to be a rock)! You will notice that some are in Halloween costume; you can see the Mad Hatter there but there’s also the Terminator and an absinthe fairy hiding in the trees. It’s hard to get a good idea of who’s smiling and who’s just complaining that they’re being spiked in the bum by a branch, but you try and keep your friends still at a 3am post-goth-club gathering up trees after you’ve plied them with absinthe. Bonus points given for everything.
5 out of 5 - 7 goths up 3 trees. Try and beat that.
Lisa Twinkle submitted this photo with the comment “A Goth & a suspicious looking Punk up a tree!”
They both appear pretty bloody suspicious to me. This looks to me like one of those horror movies where the punk kills the goth over an up-tree argument about whether Siouxsie Sioux is a punk or a goth. What? Those movies don’t exist? WELL THEY SHOULD.
It’s night time, they’re high up the tree and there’s no smiling. Bonus points for suggestions of up-tree murder. I would have liked to see more of the goth’s boots.
4.95 out of 5 - This punk is clearly sick of defending his musical tastes
LC submitted this photo with the comment:
So here is a lovely Montrealer named Kitty, reliving her more gothic youth. She is in a tree located in Parc du Mont-Royal, and so on the “mountain”(really just a hill) that gives our fair city its name.
We had hoped for sunset light, but winter dark comes quickly, and we also had to contend with the strange man who ordered Kitty to leave the city and condemned me to hell repeatedly. (More specifically, he intoned, “You’ve always known you were going to hell,” at me over and over in a sing-song manner.)
We later put Kitty on a log, but that seemed like cheating.
Isn’t it lovely when you’re condemned to hell by a total stranger? I’ve been condemned at least 5 times. Here’s a tip: don’t suggest to the condemner that you’re already in hell because it gets you nowhere.
This goth looks slightly amused but you’d look amused too if you’d just been ordered to leave the city by a stranger (unless it was actually the Mayor of the city, in which case you should probably just leave). It’s night time, she’s high up the tree and she has excellent hair and eye make-up.
4.9 out of 5 - Just popping out to visit me mate in the fiery pits.
DJ Nocturna submitted this photo with the comment:
“The 3rd Annual MISS VAMP HAWAII 2012 Beauty Pageant will take place on Friday, October 12, 2012 at the historic Hawaii Theatre. 15 beautiful vampires will grace the stage with their talents, Q&A, Moon bathing competition and more. Who would ever think you would find vampires in Hawaii, or as Nick Cave might say the other place “where the sun shines” and let alone a vampire beauty pageant in Hawaii.”
That’s a whole lot of Hawaiian goth ladies up one (albeit dead) tree. 8 in total. 8! And then there’s the 3 supporting cast members who are just hanging out, looking supportive and a bit annoyed. I have complete respect for goths who live in warmer climes. It takes a lot of dedication to maintain gothic composure while you’re sweating torrents underneath your corset and your eyeshadow creases as soon as you put it on. I’m confused by the concept of a vampire beauty pageant (then again, I’m confused by the concept of a beauty pageant in general). Does everyone put in fake fangs and answer questions important to vampires like ‘how would you cure the world of anaemia?’ or ‘if you could eat one world leader who would it be and why?’ or ‘how much do you hate that sparkly whinger?’.
This photo looks like it was taken at night time but there’s a distinct air of photoshop about it and I can’t tell if it’s authentic or not. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. Not one of them is smiling but I’m guessing vampire beauty pageant entrants never smile. The 8 up the tree are quite high and there’s a variety of poses and facial expressions, my favourite one being the girl who looks like she’s just had her hair pulled by one of the other contestants. I’m guessing it was the one directly behind her with the blonde hair as she’s looking pretty triumphant.
5 out of 5 - Oh my goth!
Pecze Margit submitted this photo with the comment “Hi, I’m Margit from Hungary, and this is me on a pine tree. It was taken after a photoshoot at 2am, maybe it explains my slightly psychopathic expression. And no I’m no lost daughter of Green Lantern. :)”
You’ve done well, Margit, and I never would have thought you were the daughter of the Green Lantern. I looked it up and there is a character called ‘Jade’ (imaginatively named) who is the Green Lantern’s daughter who has some superpower called ‘Starheart’ which is blah blah blah blah boring. It’s much better to have the superpower of being an awesome goth, I think.
This goth is fulfilling all my requirements for a 5 point score; it’s night time, she’s well dressed, she’s not smiling and she’s high up the tree. I am appreciating the corset and cape, especially, and all the drapey goodness. Her shoes are practical but cute. Good props, tree identification and “slightly psychopathic expression”.
5 out of 5 - The power of being an awesome goth is better than any superpower called ‘Starheart’
egbamf submitted this photo with no comment.
This goth has her tree’s branch firmly in her grasp. The look on her face is a charmingly evil smirk, probably because she’s got a decent night shot up a tree. I can’t see how high up she is exactly but I assume she’s a respectable height. Bonus points for the dog collar. I would have liked a bit more visible tree and visible gothness but we take what we can get.
4.9 out of 5 - Grasp your tree like you’re never going to give it up (and it’s never going to let you down)
It’s Friday night and I’ve had a couple of glasses of my finest home brew ginger beer, my boyfriend is doing an interperative dance to the winning Eurovision 2012 song at me and I’m feeling a bit generous/insane/like I need some vodka. So, until the 28th September you can buy a t-shirt for 20% off by using this discount code: soberupverity at my shop. I only have 1 t-shirt left in some sizes so don’t let them get away!
insanitywetrust submitted this photo with the comment “Cemetery Tree”
Look closely, fellow goths up trees appreciators, for you will see that this person is indeed in a cemetery. Is this a goth or is this a guy dressed in black? ‘What is the difference?’, I hear you ask, and I say to you: shoes. I know no goths who would wear sneakers such as those pictured. He may just be a goth who has made questionable footwear choices, though. I know I’m questioning my own footwear choice today.
If this guy isn’t a goth then he has made a significant effort with his eyeliner, nail polish, and thumb-holes in his top. He’s not smiling, it’s night time and he’s a decent height up the tree. Good effort. Points deducted for questionable shoe choices.
4.8 out of 5 - Questionable shoe choices will always come back to bite you.
stitchedupbunny submitted this photo (and one other) with the comment “My friend was taking photos of me, when I spotted a fallen tree hovering over a stream of water. So I thought, why the fuck not? Also found another tree that wasn’t dangerously lumbering over a sharp rock filled body of water. Pick whichever one you prefer.”
Here we have an official-looking goth up a tree. I suspect that she’s a member of the Gothic Police Force (GPF) and has come to arrest me for crimes against eyeliner and PVC. I don’t have many points left to lose because having one Kylie Minogue mp3 in your collection is a point-deducting offence, apparently. PFFT. Have my last goth points. See if I care!
To be honest, I would have taken this photo from a different angle but that’s mainly because my crotch region is shy. This GPF Officer does not suffer from this debilitating affliction, clearly. She’s high up the tree and she’s not smiling. She’s showing a bit of skin there but it’s night time so no sunburn fears. Good work with the boots, corset and pose amongst the foliage.
4.95 out of 5 - I tip my hat right back at her and hope she doesn’t look through the rest of my music collection.
