Oil Spleen submitted this photo and one other with the comment “My nieces Matilda and Amelie came to see my band Pink Narcissus at Meadowlands Festival and after the gig we climbed this tree. I thought we all look particularly moody in this picture.”
It’s good to see a goth educating his younger relatives about the age old up-tree tradition.  It’s one of the important aspect of ‘turning’ younger relatives to the dark side when their brains are pliable in the hope that they take up the panne velvet mantle of gothness in your family. 
The first photo is the one I’m going to score, even if the linked one is clearer.  There’s no smiling in the goth or the goths-in-training.  They’re high up the tree.  It’s daylight but they’re in the shade. There seems to be a goth-child apparition on the right for added spookiness.
4.3 out of 5 - Bonus points for educating the youngins in the ways of music festivals and gothness.

Oil Spleen submitted this photo and one other with the comment “My nieces Matilda and Amelie came to see my band Pink Narcissus at Meadowlands Festival and after the gig we climbed this tree. I thought we all look particularly moody in this picture.”

It’s good to see a goth educating his younger relatives about the age old up-tree tradition.  It’s one of the important aspect of ‘turning’ younger relatives to the dark side when their brains are pliable in the hope that they take up the panne velvet mantle of gothness in your family. 

The first photo is the one I’m going to score, even if the linked one is clearer.  There’s no smiling in the goth or the goths-in-training.  They’re high up the tree.  It’s daylight but they’re in the shade. There seems to be a goth-child apparition on the right for added spookiness.

4.3 out of 5 - Bonus points for educating the youngins in the ways of music festivals and gothness.

Dani submitted this photo with the comment “Evelyn has been convinced since birth that everyone cameras exist to steal souls; hence, her typical babygoth face of apathy has turned to one of distress. Momma Dani? Apathy… toward suburbs with no good climbing trees except in parking lots. Evey hopes to be the first baby on Goths Up Trees. :) “
This is an amazing photo. The baby looks utterly terrified, the mother looks determined and they’re in possibly the most goth place ever - a parking lot. I like arm-warmers on the baby’s legs and the tiny makeup tear; subtle yet effective. The supporting cast (mother) is physically supportive here but mentally supportive? The look on the baby’s face says ‘no’.
The babygoth is very high up the tree relative to her size. She’s definitely not smiling. I’ve never seen a goth so scared of having their photo taken, which suggests to me that she’s going to grow up to be not-a-goth, despite her mother’s best efforts. I think it’s safe to say she’s the youngest and most terrified person I’ve posted on this blog, so great success there.
4 out of 5 - Babygoths looking terrified up trees.

Dani submitted this photo with the comment “Evelyn has been convinced since birth that everyone cameras exist to steal souls; hence, her typical babygoth face of apathy has turned to one of distress. Momma Dani? Apathy… toward suburbs with no good climbing trees except in parking lots. Evey hopes to be the first baby on Goths Up Trees. :) “

This is an amazing photo. The baby looks utterly terrified, the mother looks determined and they’re in possibly the most goth place ever - a parking lot. I like arm-warmers on the baby’s legs and the tiny makeup tear; subtle yet effective. The supporting cast (mother) is physically supportive here but mentally supportive? The look on the baby’s face says ‘no’.

The babygoth is very high up the tree relative to her size. She’s definitely not smiling. I’ve never seen a goth so scared of having their photo taken, which suggests to me that she’s going to grow up to be not-a-goth, despite her mother’s best efforts. I think it’s safe to say she’s the youngest and most terrified person I’ve posted on this blog, so great success there.

4 out of 5 - Babygoths looking terrified up trees.

lockedillusionsart submitted this photo with the commment “Baby Jack Skellington Tree Stump. Does a tree stump count? heh Photo by Locked Illusions Photography www.lockedillusionsphoto.com, Outfit by Atomic Stitches.”
Oh my god, the ridiculous cuteness of it all.  I have questions, though:
1. Is this a real baby?2. If yes, how did they keep it still to draw on its face?3. Will someone make me an adult sized version of this outfit?
If babies all came out looking like this then I might consider acquiring one.  Not stealing a baby just, you know, getting one (I tried to search on ebay for goth babies to no avail).  He’s not high up the tree and it is, you know, a stump but I can’t imagine he’d be able to do a whole lot of climbing with his partially formed bits.  He’s not smiling. It’s daytime but it’s a gloomy day (at least in post-production land it is).
4.6 out of 5 - Goths commence their makeup training at an early age.

lockedillusionsart submitted this photo with the commment “Baby Jack Skellington Tree Stump. Does a tree stump count? heh Photo by Locked Illusions Photography www.lockedillusionsphoto.com, Outfit by Atomic Stitches.”

Oh my god, the ridiculous cuteness of it all.  I have questions, though:

1. Is this a real baby?
2. If yes, how did they keep it still to draw on its face?
3. Will someone make me an adult sized version of this outfit?

If babies all came out looking like this then I might consider acquiring one.  Not stealing a baby just, you know, getting one (I tried to search on ebay for goth babies to no avail).  He’s not high up the tree and it is, you know, a stump but I can’t imagine he’d be able to do a whole lot of climbing with his partially formed bits.  He’s not smiling. It’s daytime but it’s a gloomy day (at least in post-production land it is).

4.6 out of 5 - Goths commence their makeup training at an early age.

Kara submitted this photo with the comment “Second generation goths. These are my daughters Devon & Kaylee Dorso. They would love this picture on your website.”
YAY, some primary/junior school baby goths to add to the baby-baby goths collection and complete the full set of age ranges.  These girls were definitely not coerced or bribed into posing by their enthusiastic goth parents, as I suspect some of the others were, and that’s refreshing.  I love that they’re taking the whole thing very seriously.  At the same age, I was still wearing pink and playing with the Barbie palace I’d cunningly fashioned out of a built in wardrobe and choreographing intricate and very serious dances to The Right Stuff by NKOTB. However, my pares were not goths so my chances of doing this kinda thing at that age were limited.
These two baby goths are not smiling and they’re high up the tree.  I particularly like the look on the younger one’s face.  That goth-girl patented look of bored disdain takes some people years to develop and she’s already got it down pat. It’s daytime but we have to consider their age and bed times.
4.2 out of 5 - Tis a far, far better thing to pose as goths up trees than to choreograph dances to NKOTB.

Kara submitted this photo with the comment “Second generation goths. These are my daughters Devon & Kaylee Dorso. They would love this picture on your website.”

YAY, some primary/junior school baby goths to add to the baby-baby goths collection and complete the full set of age ranges.  These girls were definitely not coerced or bribed into posing by their enthusiastic goth parents, as I suspect some of the others were, and that’s refreshing.  I love that they’re taking the whole thing very seriously.  At the same age, I was still wearing pink and playing with the Barbie palace I’d cunningly fashioned out of a built in wardrobe and choreographing intricate and very serious dances to The Right Stuff by NKOTB. However, my pares were not goths so my chances of doing this kinda thing at that age were limited.

These two baby goths are not smiling and they’re high up the tree.  I particularly like the look on the younger one’s face.  That goth-girl patented look of bored disdain takes some people years to develop and she’s already got it down pat. It’s daytime but we have to consider their age and bed times.

4.2 out of 5 - Tis a far, far better thing to pose as goths up trees than to choreograph dances to NKOTB.

I have received a bunch of photos of small children but I’ve been hesitant to post them because, you know, they were clearly forced into gothdom by their goth pares and some of them look a bit unsure about it. Rather than not post them at all, I’m just going to post them in one go without a rating. Rate them yourselves, you lazy sods.
No.1 (above) was submitted by Bobbie Larson with no comment.

No. 2 (above) is Rook “doing a credible ‘Wayne Hussey mid emote’ impression so I hope young Rook may find a place on your website. Yes, Rook. Rook (Barker-*)Dark. Honestly.”

No. 3 (above) Vincent “after he decided he wanted to go climbing around.  He is wearing his new Jack Skellington cap. Not sure if this qualifies as proper ‘goths up trees’ but both his father and I are goths and we’re raising him to appreciate the darker things in life.”

No. 4 “Charlotte Josephine and Lucille Nichols, the twins, set out one afternoon to see what it was like to be goths up a tree. Not being terribly outdoorsy, they chose the fig tree, since climbing only around 4-5 feet up in this tree meant you were about halfway up the entire thing.”
So there you go.  Lots of goth spawn here. What do you say to that:

I have received a bunch of photos of small children but I’ve been hesitant to post them because, you know, they were clearly forced into gothdom by their goth pares and some of them look a bit unsure about it. Rather than not post them at all, I’m just going to post them in one go without a rating. Rate them yourselves, you lazy sods.

No.1 (above) was submitted by Bobbie Larson with no comment.

No. 2 (above) is Rook “doing a credible ‘Wayne Hussey mid emote’ impression so I hope young Rook may find a place on your website. Yes, Rook. Rook (Barker-*)Dark. Honestly.”

No. 3 (above) Vincent “after he decided he wanted to go climbing around.  He is wearing his new Jack Skellington cap. Not sure if this qualifies as proper ‘goths up trees’ but both his father and I are goths and we’re raising him to appreciate the darker things in life.”

No. 4 “Charlotte Josephine and Lucille Nichols, the twins, set out one afternoon to see what it was like to be goths up a tree. Not being terribly outdoorsy, they chose the fig tree, since climbing only around 4-5 feet up in this tree meant you were about halfway up the entire thing.”

So there you go.  Lots of goth spawn here. What do you say to that:


poopscape sent in this photo with the comment: “Sooo, do 8 year old goths (in training) count too?   This is my daughter Eleanor and she’s loving on her favorite 130 year old Live Oak tree in the historic Glenwood Cemetery in Houston (Howard Hughes is buried there!) It’s so old that the groundskeeper says the roots have wrapped themselves around the graves closest to the tree.”
So you can train kids to become Goths? If so, maybe there is a reason to have children after all.  Although I fear that, even if I raised a child on a strict diet of uber gothness, I would probably end up with some kind of mega pink-loving teeny bopper regardless. 
But how cute is this Goth-in-training up a tree IN AN OLD CEMETERY?  The look of despair on her little face! The top hat! What looks like a black dress!  She’s lying on a tree that reaches out over a gravestone!  Could this get any better? I THINK NOT.  Well, it probably could if there was an absinthe fountain but that would slightly disturbing as she’s under the legal drinking age by a considerable amount.  It’s daylight but, come on, she has to go to bed early - she is only 8.
4.7 out of 5 - Damned kids, get off my trees!

poopscape sent in this photo with the comment: “Sooo, do 8 year old goths (in training) count too?   This is my daughter Eleanor and she’s loving on her favorite 130 year old Live Oak tree in the historic Glenwood Cemetery in Houston (Howard Hughes is buried there!) It’s so old that the groundskeeper says the roots have wrapped themselves around the graves closest to the tree.”

So you can train kids to become Goths? If so, maybe there is a reason to have children after all.  Although I fear that, even if I raised a child on a strict diet of uber gothness, I would probably end up with some kind of mega pink-loving teeny bopper regardless. 

But how cute is this Goth-in-training up a tree IN AN OLD CEMETERY?  The look of despair on her little face! The top hat! What looks like a black dress!  She’s lying on a tree that reaches out over a gravestone!  Could this get any better? I THINK NOT.  Well, it probably could if there was an absinthe fountain but that would slightly disturbing as she’s under the legal drinking age by a considerable amount.  It’s daylight but, come on, she has to go to bed early - she is only 8.

4.7 out of 5 - Damned kids, get off my trees!