croserun submitted this photo with the comment “It was 2003. I was underage and convinced that oversized hoodies were the height of fashion. I stood in a tree in a corset, my friend perched above me. WE ARE GOTHS.”
I like how adamant she is that she and her friend are goths. Gone are the days when goths refused to be labelled. “No we’re not goths, we’re unique individuals who reject your tedious subculture stereotypes! We just like wearing black, damnit.” I have actual medical proof that I am a goth, as I just got some test results back that show that I’m severely vitamin D deficient. How does one become vitamin D deficient, I hear you ask? LACK OF SUNLIGHT. HA! Proof of goth!
They’re a decent height up the tree and they’re not smiling. It’s a cold and gloomy looking day, perfect for working on your vitamin D deficiency. They’re wearing the kind of outfits I would have worn in 2003, so bonus points there.
4.7 out of 5 - They should print your vitamin D status on goth cards for proof of gothness.
sempiternaltearsontape submitted this photo with the comment “This was one of several trees my friend Laura and I climbed on Friday 13th. This particular photo was taken by our wonderful friend Bryce in a 19th Century cemetery in Sydney not too far from where I live.”
Happy gothmas everyone! To celebrate gothmas (or Halloween as you non-goths call it) we have some of my countrymen (or country-people) up a tree in a cemetery in front of a McDonalds establishment. It’s so good of Maccas to set up shop next to a cemetery to cater for the small portion of the goth population who love a bit of fast food after a long hard up-tree cemetery session.
Our goths here are doing all the right things: they’re high up the tree, they’re not smiling and they’re gothed up appropriately. They’re out in daylight but they’re in the shade. I’m not sure whether their up-tree positions suggest relaxed goth-friendship or if one is supporting the other after she ingested some fast “food”. Either way I like it.
4.8 out of 5 - I hope there’s a pub near that cemetery as well.
madfishmonger submitted this photo with the comment “After the Grand and Gothic Ball, we went to the nearby graveyard and took some photos. My friend kept making me laugh, but I am trying to look gloomy; I didn’t want to lose points for smiling.”
What kind of friend tries to make a fellow goth smile whilst she’s up a tree and has all the elements of a 5 star photo going for her? An inconsiderate friend who should probably be struck from the friends-list! This goth isn’t strictly smiling but she does look amused. She’s in a commanding pose and is well dressed for a Ball. I particularly like the self-stripe theme to her outfit. She’s high up the tree and it’s night time. Top work.
4.98 out of 5 - Reassess friendships with sabotaging goths
glendon-allens-monster submitted this photo with the comment “Me up a tree in Oakwood Cemetery”
Glendon here has done a top job with this one. He’s found a tree that some moron with a swiss army knife defaced with uber profound words that make me want to stab myself in the eye with my stylus. I must restrain myself, however, for the sake of the trees… and my fellow goths.
Our goth here is high up the tree, he’s not smiling, and he’s in the shade, although it is daylight. He hasn’t given me a location because there are approximately 20 million cemeteries in the world called ‘Oakwood’, which would be disappointing if I cared in the slightest.
4.6 out of 10 - Scar yourself not trees.
Karla submitted this photo with the comment “Chilling.”
Chilling or chilly? This goth seems to have lost her clothes somewhere along the line. I’m glad she retained her shoes because cold feet are just the worst! How does a goth lose their clothes but not their shoes? Um, while changing outfits for a photoshoot she became startled by a rogue amorous deer and hid up a tree? I’m concerned about the potential for sunburn here due to near maximum skin exposure, especially being blonde ‘n all. She doesn’t look concerned though.
She’s a decent height up the tree, she’s not smiling and she’s in the shade although she is out in the sun. Her outfit is somewhat limited but it is a pretty setting. Ah, nice shoes.
4.3 out of 5 - I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay.
woolfie submitted this photo with the comment “Tamsin from AAAK [As Able As Kane] up a tree after playing INfest Festival 2013. #GothsUpTrees”
Wow, this highly patterned goth totally exceeded the non-smiling requirement here to the point that she looks like someone took her alcohol away from her. No alcohol? SAD FACE. She should be happy faced if she just played at Infest. She’s a decent height up a picturesque weeping willow. She has no trace of a smile on her face. It’s daylight but she’s in the shade.
4.8 out of 5 - I suspect the sad face is because one of the other bands on the Infest lineup drank her rider.
frankenmermaid submitted this photo with the comment “This was where I spent my lunch the last 3yrs of high school. My friend heard of your page and decided to snap this photo one day.”
I can’t help but picture this lovely goth lady spending 3 years’ worth of lunch breaks in this exact position and imagine how much that would hurt her back, which could explain the slightly pained expression on her face.
She’s high up the tree, in the shade and has a nice summertime goth outfit on. I wouldn’t say she was smiling, but she does look as if she’s in pain/probably needs to relieve herself shortly. Points deducted for low photo quality.
4.3 out of 5 - You’d pull that face too if you’d been sitting like that for 3 years.
marymisery submitted this photo with the comment “Myself with a friend at a local cemetery. I AM up the tree as you can see from behind me along with the headstones. But if you look behind me- lo and behold, more trees! <3! “
This goth knows The Rules™ and has explained her up-tree situation accordingly, so bonus points there. This is quite a lovely photo but I’m distracted by 2 things: 1) her phenomenally long eyelashes, and 2) her elbow. I’m not usually distracted by elbows, by the way, but this is one of those weird elbow-staring situations that I find myself in now and then.
Elbows aside, bonus points for the gravestones, the fading light, the lack of smiling and what appears to be a decent up-tree height. Nicely done.
4.85 out of 5 - Now all I can think of is a bunch of goths doing the chicken dance.
Stein submitted this photo with the comment “Saw this tree when I went to Suomenlinna just outside Helsinki, and could not resist climbing it :D”
I’m imagining this guy being drawn towards the tree against his will, trying desperately to resist and then just surrendering himself in a flurry of leaves, bondage straps and spikes. He looks a bit happy about surrendering to the tree but I think we’d all be pretty impressed about being up a tree in a bloody great sea fortress in Finland.
Our goth boy has managed to climb to a good height up the tree without snagging his bondage straps or messing up his hair. He’s mostly in the shade despite the daylight. He isn’t really smiling but he does look pretty happy with himself for making a rude hand gesture (or is he pretending he has scissors for fingers - I AM EDWARD SCISSOR HANDS).
4.7 out of 4 - Goths Up Trees: the least informative goth travel blog ever.
Jennifer Roche submitted this photo with the comment “This was taken by my daughter and is in our local park in Dublin, Ireland. This particular tree is very low-hanging and easy climb. Handy if you’re in high-heeled boots….which I was! ;)”
I hate to tell you, needlessly worried parents of babygoths around the world, but being a goth often isn’t ‘just a phase’, as proven by this eldergoth up a tree. It’s true that some goths do magically wake up having morphed over night into rockabilly types, or gradually tone it down until they’re just vaguely alternative people who like the odd black boot, but many just keep on keeping on.
This particular eldergoth has done well to get to that height in her high-heeled boots but, unfortunately, she is smiling. You’d think that all those years of gothness would turn your mouth into a permanent child-scaring sneer. Damn, I was counting on that. She’s out in the daylight but she’s in the shade. Bonus points for the cute outfit.
4.6 out of 5 - Eldergoths, we salute you!
thechemicaldarkness submitted this photo with the comment “My boyfriend and I took it upon ourselves to climb this tree as it seemed the perfect spot to eat cookies :)”
Eating cookies up trees isn’t really all that goth, though, is it? That is unless the cookies were made of dark chocolate, spices, and the eyeliner-infused tears of Robert Smith, and they were dunked in goblets of Swiss absinthe.
Our goth looks a little scared here but perhaps they were *those* kind of cookies and she was feeling a tad paranoid. I wouldn’t worry if I were her because she looks ensconced in her tree. She’s not smiling, she is a decent height up the eucalyptus (?!) tree and she’s in the shade, despite the daylight. Bonus points for the frilliness of the outfit..
4.85 out of 5 - I need a snack.
Sara submitted this photo with the comment “I showed my partners your website and they lolied me up and made me climb a tree! :-)”
Our goth here has made it sound like she was forced to loli-up and climb this tree as some sort of revenge by her partners for showing them this site. Come to think of it, her hands could be tied behind her back in this photo too. This raises the question, how on earth could you climb a tree with massive platform goth-loli mary-janes and your hands tied behind your back? You can’t. She must have teleported up. Awesome.
She’s nicely lolied up for the forced tree-sitting occasion, so well done to her partners. She’s high up the tree and she’s not smiling but she does have an amused look in her eye. It’s daylight but she’s in the shade. Bonus points for teleportation.
4.8 out of 5 - Sit up trees of your own free will.
Ian submitted this photo with no comment.
These boys have both reached commendable tree heights in this picture but I don’t think they’re overly goth; perhaps more goth-compatible. I don’t know what it is about the top guy but his pose, his hair situation, or something reminds me of the most charming animal in the world, a sloth. Sloths must be mostly goth because they share 3 letters between them and they sit around in trees a lot. Yes, I’m struggling a bit here.
They’re not smiling and they’re both at an excellent height up the tree. Points for effort with the face paint and poses. It’s daylight and they’re out in the sun so points deducted there.
3 out of 5 - I FOUND SOME GOTH SLOTHS - here and here and this fine animated gif here
ecksipoo submitted this photo with the comment “Brutal Goth <3”
I can’t really see much of what’s going on here but we’re told its br00tal. My uber goth pug is the most br00tal person in the house (you can tell by her hat) and she said this. I’ll take her word for it.
Our br00tal goffick is a lowish height in the tree but she’s not smiling and she’s added +10 atmosphere and made it near impossible to judge the type of day by making the image black and white. Cunning and brutal. What next?
4 out of 5 - Always refer to your pets when it comes to questions of br00tality.
androgynous-space-demon submitted this photo with the comment “Me, in a tree, At a tea room garden, near my home in Bristol”
A goth up a tree at a tea room garden? How perfectly civilised. It is a well known fact that the gothic subculture consume more tea per capita than any other subculture, so being a goth up a tree in a tea room garden would be a comforting experience, which would explain the somewhat serene look on our goth’s face. Unfortunately, I don’t like tea which has always made me feel like less of a goth (as if that’s even possible with my blonde hair an’ all).
Our goth here is obviously one of the tea-drinking majority. She isn’t smiling, she’s a decent height up the tree and she’s skilfully gothed up. It even looks like the sun is going down on the scene, which is most pleasing. Nicely done.
4.8 out of 5 - Why is a raven like a writing desk? Because goths.